the secret

by horace p sternwall

the sun comes up in the morning the moon comes out at night frank and eddie were buddies but neither was very bright eddie had a secret plan to conquer the universe frank was born to a kingdom but was banished by an ancient curse a hellhound named herbert hoover was hot upon their trail in a final act of desperation they decided to rob the mail uncle bud macgregor was a railroad bull to fear and arrested many a poor rounder every sad and lonely year uncle bud had a sweetheart whose name was known to none but it is written in the stars in the light of a trillion suns frank thought it was nellie and eddie thought it was sue and if they ever rob the mail the world will know it too robin hood and jesse james are sleeping in the waves and dreaming of the little dog they tried so hard to save

wedding day

by horace p sternwall

it was a cold rainy day joey and peggy sue were to be married an hour before the wedding henry slade showed up joey and henry slade went back a long way joey owed henry as no man had ever owed another man henry had come to collect on the cold rainy day when joey and peggy sue were about to tie the knot preacher davis was just finishing his bowl of oatmeal and getting ready to tie his necktie something he was not very good at despite years of practice a shadow fell across his rain-streaked window it was henry slade come to collect his debt from joey gray a cold wind went down the poor preacher’s back and he wished he could eat another bowl of oatmeal instead of going outside into the wifd and rain where joey owed henry slade as no man had ever owed another man before

after

by bofa xesjum

after the guests had all gone home generally speaking of course justice had to be done the party had gone on forever as luck would have it but now it was all over you call this justice? under the smiling face of midnight count me out of this sad affair but the guests have all gone home very funny very funny indeed but i have my price just like you angry words were spoken generally speaking of course it had to be done because the guests had all gone home and the joke was on the big guy because they all had their price humorous as it may seem to you just who do you think you are? as subsequent events proved they knew very well who they were and angry words were spoken altogether it was a sad affair words proved inadequate and a new paradigm was introduced at the last minute

epidemic

by bofa xesjum

that’s really great frieda replied sarcastically because there is nothing else to say rain fell outside on the sidewalk lets settle this outside howard sighed wearily there is nothing left to say jonathon observed from the back of the room but then i said its sad to be lonely how do you say that in english an epidemic of loneliness was sweeping the earth everybody said so but i wanted to enjoy a quiet evening do you begin to understand? howard and jonathon had been friends for a long time no, thank you, i’m good i think it is great that you are good it gets hard sometimes when an epidemic of loneliness is sweeping the earth its so sad to be lonely belinda remembered better days striding purposefully across the campus before the epidemic of loneliness it is eight o’clock time for the game

pete

by nick nelson

once upon a time this guy was walking down the street his dog’s name was jeff and his name was pete his dad was a mailman and his mom was a cook and people wondered if he had what it took pete wanted something he never had he wanted it and he wanted it bad it might not be what you expect all he wanted was respect pete’s behavior was usually mild but on occasion he ran wild and had to be escorted by sheriff john brown to the jail in the center of the town pete knew things that nobody else did he knew things that had to be hid from ordinary people just living their lives what might be called the nine to fives have you ever wondered why the world exists and why nobody ever resists and get up in the morning and go to work on dark highways in the eternal murk there is a secret - a secret so deep even the rulers of the earth are put to sleep the rest of us - do we have a chance? will there ever be a next dance?

wandering

by horace p sternwall

bill short was an ordinary sort who was taken to court to pay his share of the rent that is not what i meant to say - by his friends who pursued their own ends in this modern society which in its entirety is incomprehensible so lets be sensible and sit in the shade and watch the passing parade of futility and folly which, by golly until the day we die where was i? lucas brown wandered from town to town in a permanent haze looking for the old days which might not have existed but the townsfolk insisted on erecting a monument that is not what i meant to say - just the other day my old friend sam mccray and his old dog red got into my head and asked if i repented i asked them if they meant it and they laughed to beat the band but gave away their hand then just as i feared suddenly the sheriff appeared with a hammer and a nail and a bill of sale i see you have guessed what happened next what can i say? i did not mean it that way

story time

by bofa xesjum

a creature crawled across the sand with a thing in its hand an entity stood by with a gleam in its eye many years had passed with a supporting cast who were now dispersed with their old nurse to the ends of the earth awaiting rebirth but the creature had a distinguishing feature that only the princess knew under a sky of blue the end of the tale to uplift may fail happy or sad it was all the poor creature had