tales of the hotel st crispian, chapter 127: "these are the slimes that slice the limes"
by horace p sternwall
illustrated by danny delacroix and eddie el greco
editorial consultant: Prof. Dan Leo
flossie saw her chance.
the dread jasper mccarthy was surrounded by three or four people helping him after his coughing fit. had he fallen to the floor? she couldn't tell.
here was the chance to get up and out the back door without jasper seeing her.
it looked like closing time anyway.
if she could stand up and move her legs.
her great plan of getting hyacinth drunk enough to let something slip about stanley slade - or maybe something, anything, newsworthy slip out - had not worked out very well.
hyacinth was drunk all right - at this point she looked ready to pass out - but flossie was even drunker.
and hyacinth, when she hadn't been pouring the drinks down her throat- and at least she had paid for all the rounds after the first one which had been on the federal-democrat - had not let anything out of her mouth except chit-chat at first and gibberish later.
flossie took a deep breath. she would give it the old college try and stand up.
but could she leave poor hyacinth all alone like this? hyacinth was her best friend!
flossie should at least make sure hyacinth was conscious before abandoning her.
"hey," flossie said.
"hey, hyacinth!" she repeated.
"huh?" hyacinth finally answered.
"are you awake?"
"off course. what shelf would i be but a flake."
"i have to go now . it's closing time."
"yeah. closing time."
"but i love you. you're my best friend."
"i love you, too."
"friends forever. because we know the score."
hyacinth nodded. "the score. on a far distant shore."
"sisters. because we know the score. not like those stupid men."
"stupid men can't count to ten," hyacinth agreed.
"it's closing time, " flossie repeated. "i have to go file my story."
"story. time. at the new york times, " hyacinth agreed.
"no, no, not the new york times. the federal-democrat."
"these are the times - the times - these are the slimes that slice the limes- "