the storm

by anonymous

when i try to think back on the true beginning of my life's journey, i recall, not my wedding at the grey castle, nor franz going off to war in his blue and gold uniform, but nasha, my governess, and old pastor mubank, seated beside the river,and myself, wandering off to the bank and seeing a trout jump up suddenly and look me straight in the eye, probably the first live "wild" creature i ever encountered, although i was, due to my careful upbringing, already fairly proficient in latin, french, russian, the piano and the violin, and such "science" as was then considered suitable for a female child what are you doing? what does it look like i am doing? reading a book. that is, in fact, what i am doing. let’s go outside and.play croquet. it looks like rain. then let’s get a game in before it does. all right. natalie and ferdinand had barely started their game when the skies opened up and they had to go back inside. where is my book? natalie asked plaintively. someone must have picked it up - brenda, or maybe the new parlormaid. it is not their function to go around picking up my books, or , for that matter, anything i choose to leave lying around. don’t take it so personally. was the book interesting. i had only begun it. there you are! go and change into dry clothes, both of you. what were you thinking? could you not see the storm clouds gathering?

untitled #15, part 1

by genghis gilgamesh

have a seat. thank you. your number is - 8940-4307-2319-6649-4. do you have a name? no. would you like to have a name? it is all the same to me. do you have any friends? no. if you had any friends, or a friend, what would you like them to call you?. pinkie. all right, pinkie, are you a human? as far as i know. did you have a mom and a dad? yes. what were their names? mom and dad, what is the first thing you remember your mom saying? o my god that’s gorgeous. what is the first thing you remember our dad saying? that is one hell of a good looking truck. did mom and dad send you to school? no. what did they do? they took me out and left me in the woods. . were you raised by wolves or bears? neither, i was raised by wild hogs. but we had some hellacious fights with the wolves and bears, especially the wolves. those were great times. but they didn’t last. no, the service came in and cleaned out area 5, and i was sent to school in district 67-4. and did you learn anything useful at the school? i did not learn anything. i escaped and joined the ferguson gang. (to be continued)

untitled #13, part 2

by bofa xesjum

to read part 1, click here

joe smith walked down the street. he did his best thinking walking down the street. because usually there was nobody else around. when he first started going on his walks, he had been told that he might be approached by security forces patrolling the streets either in foot or in vehicles, but this had not proved to be the case. what did he think about when he was walking down the street? he was thinking about how much he would rather be anybody else than himself. he had to walk down the street to do that? he felt that he did. why could he not sit in his assigned apartment and wish he was somebody else? because the walls of the apartment remind hm of who he is and where he is. where he is, maybe, but why who he is? they just do. that is a good answer. but let it go. does he want to be anybody else in particular? anybody but himself. he must have some particular ideas in his mind of what he would rather be, indeed he might. and what might they be? a) omar khayyam , a poet from the mists of time b) alpha ceawfish, an assistant systems analyst from the 240th century c) 386-559-385-k, a student at a boys school in the 136th century d) blackbeard the pirate e) billy the kid f) garghis the gladiaotot is that enough? more than enough. what are the chances of mister joe smith’s actually becoming any of these? low. very well. go on. joe continued walking down the street and his phone rang. he has a phone in his pocket, just like he would i the 21st century? i do not see why not. (to be continued)

flying low

by genghis gilgamesh

doctor x was walking across the desert when war was declared and the truth was revealed at last. he felt in his pocket for his wallet. perhaps, the doctor thought, i am being a bit hasty. luck may still be my lady, as it was on that long ago afternoon. he decided to soldier on. after all, doctor karlson was still his friend, despite their little spat about nothong much. * yeti was walking down a dark highway when all hell broke loose and he heard a voice. he was in nowise daunted , as he heard voices all the time. but he wished he was back in trenton, eating a turkey sandwich and drinking a lemon sprite, funny - he had not seen a car on the dark highway for almost an hour. eternity seemed empty all of a sudden. maybe things just happened after all. * jonah was hitchhiking on the broad highway when a plane appeared in the sky and the earth shook. he wondered where alice was, and if she had finally found her emptiness. the kingdom was still under the earth, waiting to be discovered. there was still time to be saved, suddenly jonah realized that he understood nothing. a dragon appeared in the distance, flying low. * zeke smith was running across a dark highway when a storm broke and the truth was revealed at last. he wondered where doctor x, yeti, and jonah were at this moment. yeti had always sincerely sought the truth, like zeke himself. he was not so sure about the other two. it was easy, too easy , to blame maria for everything. * on the other side of the mountain, sheriff john brown gassed up his old truck, betsy, and checked that he had enough shells for his shotgun, bertha. the time had come, but where was the pizza he had ordered an hour ago?

untitled #14, part 2

by genghis gilgamesh

to read part 1, click here

before sitting down, the woman identifying herself as a homicide detective and calling herself karl marx took a folded piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to daniel boone. please fill out this questionnaire, you can do it online, at the website indicated on the top of the page, or you can fill it out by hand and mail it to the address at the bottom of the page. or, you can just fill it out now and give it to me. i can wait. she sat down. daniel boone decided that he would not offer her anything to drink. daniel glanced at the paper. but what is it for? he asked. does it have to do with some particular person you are looking for? no, it is a general questionnaire we give to all people who move into the district. district? what district? a district of what? do you mean the county? the state ? you will save yourself a lot of trouble if you just fill out the form. i have a pen if you need one. but what is its purpose? we just like to screen newcomers for potential serial killers or other wrongdoers. do you have problems around here with serial killers? carter persisted. do you think serial killers are not a problem? you will save yourself a lot of trouble if you just fill out the form. very well, i will fill it out online. thank you. the woman calling herself karl marx got to her feet. that was not so difficult, was it? daniel started to say, i have not filled it out yet, but she was already out the door. * 1) are you a serial killer? yes___. no ___ 2) do you have , or have you ever had, fantasies of being a serial killer? yes ___. no ___ 3) when you sleep, have you ever had dreams of being a serial killer? yes ___. no ___ 4) do you remember all your dreams? yes___. no ____ 5) do you record all your dreams? yes ___. no___ 6) do you have any serial killers in your genealogical history? yes___ no ___ 7) how many generations back do you know your complete genealogical history? 0 - 5 ___ 6 -50___ 50 - 1000 ___ over 1000 ____ 8) do you have any friends who are serial killers? yes ___. no ___ 9) do you have, or have you ever had, any friends? yes ___ no -__ 10). if you answered “yes” to question 10, how many friends do you have, or have you ever had? 1 ___ 2 ___ 3___. more than 3 __ to be continued

untitled #14, part 1

by genghis gilgamesh

daniel boone had always been a civilized person and assumed that the world was run by civilized persons like himself, who could arrange the world in any way they wished, once they had agreed on the best arrangement. after finding that this view was inadequate, he retired to the wilderness. * night had fallen, though daniel boone was largely indifferent to the passages of night and day. he heard a knock on the door. who can that be? he wondered. all my friends are dead or have deserted me, and i gave no one the address of this house in the wilderness , which, after long and tedious negotiation i finally managed to purchase with the greater part of my hard earned life savings. it can only be some passing hobo or barbarian. i will ignore the knock, and they will go away. suddenly he remembered reading an article in the sunday times about “the last hobo” and another in the daily gazette about “the last barbarian”. both had been written with confident assurance. be that as it may, he thought, i will not open the door, even if the knock is repeated. it might be a serial killer, he thought. but he remembered reading on more than one occasion that serial killers largely confined their attentions to persons of both sexes who sold the use of their bodies to other individuals for the other individuals’ erotic satisfaction. he waited for another knock. and waited. and waited. finally convinced that the knock would not be repeated he resumed reading his book, the first violin, by jessie fothergill, which he had purchased for fifty cents at the local library just before he moved out of the city, because it was in the best condition of the books offered at that price. the knock resumed, just a little bit louder. it might be a homicide detective, he thought, on the trail of a serial or some other kind of killer, which seems reasonable given the lonely and desolate nature of the location. with a sigh, he marked his place in the book with a receipt from the store on the lonely highway from which he bought his weekly supplies, put the book on the little table beside his comfortable old chair - the only piece of furniture he had retained from his old apartment in the city - and got ip and opened the door. a young woman dressed in a suit and hat like a homicide detective stood in the doorway. how may i help you? daniel asked in his most businesslike manner. good evening. my name is karl marx, and i am a detective with the homicide department of the district police. she showed him a badge in a wallet. how am i supposed to know if it is genuine? daniel thought. as he always did when he saw badges produced on television shows, but he only said - yes, i thought you might be. would you like to come in? it is a bit chilly out here. i am dressed for the weather. but i am not. would you like to come in? damiel repeated, standing aside. he looked out past her into the darkness. he saw a dark sedan parked, but no sign of any other person. the detective entered, and looked around the sparsely furnished room. are you alone? she asked. i could ask you the same thing, carter thought, but answered - yes, i am. quite alone, with not even a cat or a dog. a dog might be a good idea. i have considered it. what can i do for you? have a seat, please. daniel waved at the only other chair in the room, besides the comfortable chair he had brought with him from the city. thank you. to be continued

untitled #11, part 2

by bofa xesjum

to read part 1, click here

excuse me, but i could not help overhearing your conversation. that is all right, we have nothing to hide. i am a wanderer on this earth, and i have seen many strange things. i like your purple sash, but i think your black mustache needs a little work. thank you for your input. my name is iskander, by the way. what are your names? my name is ulysses s grant, and this is my good friend and boon companion george washington. i have always wanted a boon companion, but despite my extensive travels i have never been fortunate enough to find one. i am sorry to hear that. but to get down to serious business, what about our conversation was of such interest to you that you chanced transgressing the bounds of polite social intercourse to comment on it? i, too, have had dealings with such a person as you describe your friend encountering - a person claiming to be an acquaintance from the dim and distant past, but whom i had reason to doubt was actually so.. that is fascinating. i tell you what - why don’t you take our orders, and while we are waiting for them, you can write down or record your experience and we can consider it while we dine. we are both persons of some importance, but not so important that we can keep the world waiting. iskander straightened up and adjusted his purple sash, which was beginning to sag a little around his thin waist. i understand. very well, what would you like today? i will have the special. i will have what he’s having. you are easy to please. i will be back with your orders in two shakes of a lamb’s tail/ ulysses s grant and george washington watched iskander head across the floor to the kitchen door. it never ends, does it? don’t start. i was hoping to end it right here. i am deathly afraid it may be only beginning. to be continued

untitled #13, part 1

by bofa xesjum

a man was walking down the street. when ? excuse me? when was the man walking down the street? you mean the time of day? i suppose you could mention that, but what i had in mind was - what year was it? was it in the present, in the past, in the remote past, in the near future, in the distant future? um - in a timeless place. really? that is pretty boring. if you can not be more specific, i am not interested. all right - it is in the year 33,003. and he is a man walking down a street? that is what i said to begin with. how do you know there will be streets in the year 33,003? or cities? or, for that matter, human beings, men, women, whatever? i guess i am just guessing. so you have not really thought about it? there will probably be a lot of changes in 31,000 years, don’t you think? that is probably a safe assumption. but in spite of that safe assumption, you persist in stating a man - i assume you mean a human male more or less like those walking the streets and driving the highways and byways - and jetting to tokyo or monaco or the maldive islands or wherever today - is walking down a street. that is what i had in mind. all right, go on. why is he walking? does he have a destination? no, he is just going for a walk. really? he has nothing better to do in the year 33,000? just going for a walk is a big deal in the year 33,0003. and why, pray tell, is that? because most of the population is confined to their small apartments in the great towers that cover the earth, and it takes a great effort, and light years of red tape, to get permission to walk in the street. and this fellow, who has gone to all this trouble, he has done so just to walk around - he has no other motive? that is a good question. but before we go any further, do you not want to know his name? i was about to reveal it, before being so pointedly interrupted. very well, then, what is his name? this was a difficult decision, it came down to a choice from four names. don’t keep me in suspense. what were the four names? they were a) joe smith b) omar khayyam c) alpha crawfish and d) 386-559-385 -k to be continued

in the old coal mine

by nick nelson

i don’t understand you. you must not be the understanding type. i am the understanding type. i have the paper to prove it. what about the coal mine? what about what happened in the old coal mine on that long ago day? that was a long time ago. is that not what i said? what did you say? i must have missed something. i said what about walter king? what about what you said to walter king on that long ago day? leave walter king out of this. you didn’t leave him out of anything on that long ago day.. walter was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. whatever happened to walter anyway? i think you know exactly what happened to walter on that long ago day and subsequently. maybe. if you are that interested, you have a phone in your pocket, look him up. there must be a lot of walter kings in the world. refine your search. how? walter king who has red hair and wears red and yellow ties and pinstriped shirts? he may have changed his appearance since that long ago day. how about walter king who conspired with bill unsworth and jerry dooley to rig the price of fernando limited in the old coal mine in harnsworth iowa on that long ago day, on that long ago day of january 17———? you fool! you blind fool! if you put that in _________. to coin a phrase, i was only kidding, i would never put that on my phone. on your phone! on your phone! do you not know what time it is? i do not hear any sirens. i do! listen! yes, i guess i do hear them. well, we had a nice run.

the beach at night

by bofa xesjum

karma eaglescout got out of his car and walked briskly to the deserted beach. he had a long-delayed rendezvous with blind fate. purvis barnburn, who had known karma eaglescout 0at school before the great upheaval, watched from the shadow of an abandoned hot dog stand. purvis had a dog named potato chip, but he had left him back at the motel. the big gracker was known to the police of three continents. that is not saying much, as most of the human race is known to the police of seven continents and eight planets. karma eaglescout, purvis barnburn laughed softly to himself as he watched karma step gingerly on to the sand of the beach. the last person i would have expected to encounter in such a situation. purvis barnburn moved out of the shadows. the big gracker kept his position behind the big rock and watched purvis move out of the shadows and approach karma as karma walked down the beach to the waterline. suddenly the light of a boat appeared on the water. and a siren was heard out on the highway. the sound of the siren came closer. the light on the water came closer. karma, purvis, and the big gracker all froze in their positions. a car came to a screeching halt on the road behind the beach. the car door was opened and then slammed shut. a light flashed on and swept over the dark beach, and a bullhorned voice exploded. this is zack oregano! this is zack oregano! nobody move! we will shoot anything that moves! but the beach was deserted. karma eaglescout, purvis barnburn, and the big gracker were all gone. and the light over the water had gone out. zack oregano sighed. all in a night’s work, he thought philosophically.