do for you today, part 1

by bofa xesjum

absolute quiet did not recognize the number, but he was bored and decided to answer it anyway. hello. hello, is this absolute quiet? yes it is, what can i do for you today? i am jabber incoherently. we went to school together at arbuthnot.. yes. and what can i do for you ? do you remember me? well, i don’t mean any disrespect , but i am not sure that i do. i did go to arbuthnot, class of ’03. are you sure you meant to call me, and not some other classmate? it has been a long time. not so long as all that. be that as it may, how can i help you? are you selling something? are you in buying mode? not particularly. are you, or are you not, selling something? no. then what are you calling me about? i am calling you to tell you that i don’t like you any more. i am sorry to hear that. are you going to take any action to express your displeasure with me? i do not have to answer that. goodbye. hello? but the call was ended. * later that day, absolute quiet had lunch with big sam barker, at bartleby’s, and recounted the curious conversation he had had with jabber incoherently.. big sam barker did not find the account humorous, and expressed grave misgivings about it. i think you should notify the police. i am sure they have more important things to do. on the contrary,, they probably have almost nothing to do. they will be glad to have something to occupy them. yes, and then i will never be rid of them. until they catch and try this person and put them away. which might take twenty or thirty years. and besides, what are they even guilty of? being a nuisance? i see you are not keeping current with the new definitions of crime and offensiveness. maybe not. i want you to promise me something. what? if this person contacts you again, you will contact the police. i will think about it. here is the waiter. the waiter’s name was grievous browbeat. he wore a purple sash and had a black mustache. part 2