winners and losers

by nick nelson

the great war had begun. when the tank battalion turned off the highway, suddenly the desert was filled with grasshoppers. saladin, the battalion commander ,was at a loss. he had been given command of the battalion only because his great-granfdfather had been the greatest hero of the third war. he turned to his batman, lord rowley. rowley had ben a general in the fourth empire’s army, defeated in the previous war but one. what should i do, rowley? he pleaded. do what all great captains do - press on! disaster followed. their mechanisms hopelessly compromised by the swarming insects, the tanks ground to a halt. the opposing army seemed to have no such problems. armaggedon ensued, foretelling tne inevitable surrender, what have i done, saladin wailed. i have brought disgrace upon my house, and disaster on my tribe. cheer up , old fellow, rowley assured him, , it is not so bad as all that. you will live to see another day. and fight more battles,for somebody or something. saladin staggered into the desert. a wandering private soldier, with a bandaged head, approached him. set up a tent, saaldin ordered him, that i may properly surrender. the private obeyed with an ill grace, and went on his way. a deputation from the victors appeared. to saladin’s astonishment, it was led by none other than the great khan in person. i have come here, the khan announced, in respect to the memory of your great-grandfather. one if the greatest warriors the world has ever known. i am the most wretched of men, saladin replied, disgraced as no man has ever been before. it is not so bad as all that, the great khan replied, echoing rowley. there are always winners and losers. give this fellow a drink, he instructed his batman, a deposed emperor. pour it down his throat if you have to.

strangers on the road

by horace p sternwall

apple jones had a strange dream where everything was was it seemed banana brown was his best friend birthday cards to each other they did send cleopatra sailed down the nile but got tired of it after a while daniel boone had a cabin in the woods with millions of dollars of smuggled goods sabu was an elephant boy an identity he did not enjoy frank james was an outlaw bold he wanted silver, but would take gold george washington sat in a tree because that was the way it was meant to be harry houdini wore baggy pants he could sing but he couldn’t dance i am the center of the universe unless somebody else got there first jerry the jumper liked gin and tonics when it came time for action, he got right on it king arthur had a new /young wife he could not make her happy to save his life little john and robin hood wanted to give back to the neighbrhood old man mose lives deep in the swamp you can hear him going clomp clomp clomp nobody knows my rightful name i don’t care, it is only a game out on highway ninety-nine the women drink whiskey and the men drink wine prester john went in search of the pope with a dog, a stick, and a piece of rope the queen of sheba had long red hair and rode a mule to the county fair when good king richard passed her by rain and lightning filled the sky king solomon liked a cup of ale and went in search of the holy grail he came back with a tale to tell around the campfire as night fell

zero hour

by bofa xesjum

eddie woke up. or did he? or was he? eddie? was that his name? he felt someone looking at him. a big guy, wearing a green uniform. the big guy’s body was bright red, but his face was blue and his eyes were gray. what is your name, eddie asked him. sam. you look like a good guy, sam. will you be my friend? no. why? sam seem to consider eddie’s request. in the first place, i do not particularly want a friend. in the second, i do not like your looks. and in the third, frank has declared that there are to be no more friends until the war is over. oh. and when will that be? have you been asleep? i guess. the next assault is to three days - tuesday. maybe you should be getting back to your unit - if it still exists. it all - or at least something - started coming back. eddie was lying on a blanket on the floor. he looked down at himself. he was wearing plain gray pants and a darker gray shirt. i wonder what i was? he mumbled. you were not a fighter, wearing those clothes.- probably a digger, or a shambler. thanks for your help, eddie told sam. but sam was gone. eddie looked looked around the room. he noticed something in the corner. that he had not noticed before. a suitcase. he got up and walked over and opened it. inside was a suit of clothes. complete with a striped shirt and tasteful navy tie with small white dots. nicer clothes than he had ever worn in his life. the suitcase also contained a typewritten note. it seemed to be in code. or maybe in some language he did not understand. he put it back in the suitcase. and put on the clothes, which fitted him perfectly. with these clothes i can go anywhere, he thought. i do not have to find my unit. and get blown to bits like a peasant. i can take the orient express to istanbul or vienna. yes, that is what i will do, for sure. he picked up the suitcase. and went down to the dark street. there were no people in the street. and no soldiers. he turned the first corner. he saw a figure in the shadows. it was sam, with his blue face and green uniform. hello there , sam said. you did not want to be my friend, eddie reminded him. i changed my mind, sam replied. you look so nice in those nice clothes.. they suit you perfectly. i especially like the navy tie with white polka dots. i want to be your friend now.

you never nobody

by bofa xesjum

johnny woke up. he was nobody. his elephant was gone. and his sunshine had expired. he had fifteen minutes to yell bloody murder. but he decided to float down the muddy river instead. omar had been his best friend. he had been lucky to even have one. a shadow fell across the crack under the door. who could it be but fred? fred opened the door without ceremony, and without any respect for johnny’s privacy, in the way that he had . you ready to sell that elephent? fred asked vigorously. the elephant is gone. fred looked around the room. he could see that the elephant was gone. where did it go? danged if i know, johnny replied soberly. let’s go out in the street and see what is going on. might as well, johnny replied wearily, outside in the street, a lot was going on. the security police in their red uniforms had descended on the town. and were rounding people up with their blue batons. and lining them up on the sidewalk. johnny and fred quickly found themselves in line with the rest of the riffraff. where was omar? johnny wondered. j omar had been his best friend. it would be great to see him again.