Friday, April 30, 2021

four words

by "z"

comrades, take heart

victory is within our grasp

if we fight on, we will win

we will win because our cause is just

and victory, when it comes, will be final

victory, when it comes, will be forever

we will build an empire based on truth

and the truth is forever

our enemies will be crushed

ground into the dust forever

and scattered to the wind

as if they had never existed

we need to be strong

and have faith

and we will win

and rule the earth forever

let those who would resist our just rule tremble!

we will build temples to our fallen warriors

who will live in our memories forever

we must be true to them

and never let down our guard

but be eternally vigilant

with these four words i leave you -

truth, strength, vigilance, forever!

thank you.

Thursday, April 29, 2021

just like you

by anonymous

i don’t want much

i want to be just like you

i want respect

just like you

i want to rule the earth

just like you

i want to be able to walk into a bank and take out a billion dollars any time i want

just like you

i want to walk into the most expensive restaurant in the world and get personally escorted by the maitre’d to the best table

just like you

i want to star in a hollywood movie any time i want

just like you

i want to be elected president of the united states any time i want

just like you

i want everyone in the world to know my name

just like you

i want to be able to go anywhere and do anything

just like you

you were born in the big house on the hill

and you had everything

i was born in a shack down by the railroad tracks

and i had nothing

that was not very fair, was it?

i don’t want you telling me i should be grateful because i don’t live in a hole in the ground

i don’t want you telling me i should be grateful because i have not starved to death

do you live in a hole in the ground?

have you starved to death?

who are you to tell me i should be grateful for anything?

i know what i want

all i want is to be just like you

is that asking so much?

Wednesday, April 28, 2021

help me out

by anonymous

hello there

i am good, how about you?

i am a person who likes to know what is going on and where i am at

so help me out here

jeff bezos has 179 billion dollars

there are 8 billion people in the world

that means jeff bezos could give everybody in the world 1 billion dollars and still have 171 billion left for himself!

so why doesn’t he?

elon musk has 151 billion dollars. he could give everybody in the world 1 billion and still have 143 billion left over for himself

come on, big fella, can’t you get by on that?

next up is “bernard arnault”, whoever he might be (probably a front for hillary clinton and nancy pelosi’s child porno empire)

anyway, old bernard is listed as having 150 billion to call his own

and then bill gates at 124 billion (poor bill, he was number one for so long), mark zuckerberg at 97 billion, warren buffett at 96 billion, and so forth

all of this is from forbes magazine, and i guess they ought to know

anyway, there are 262 people with 9 billion or more. so that makes 262 people who could give everybody in the world 1 billion dollars and still have 1 billion or more for themselves

but hold on - there are 365 days in a year! so for everybody to have a billion dollars every day, we still have to come up with another 103 billion

maybe the top 103 could each give everybody in the world an extra billion (number 103, with a name you can’t pronounce from who knows where - probably another child porno king - has 18.1 billion)

so that solves that problem. for one year, anyway. one year at a time, maybe the universe will blow up from global warming or something.

except that these greedy sons of bitches probably won’t go along with it. what are you going to do?

i saw this thing on twitter about proving that bigfoot built the pyramids. how can you tell that bigfoot built the pyramids?

because there are no footprints of bigfoot around the pyramids!

if bigfoot built the pyramids, doesn’t it stand to reason that he would wipe out all traces of his footprints?

of course he would

case closed

talk to you later

have a good one

live free, and stay focused

Tuesday, April 27, 2021


by dog e relaford

people are gross and disgusting
ignorant, and overly trusting
out of date, and out of touch
and i don’t care for them very much

where did they come from, anyway
and are they here to stay?
how much nicer the world would be
if it were not filled with such as these

is there any hope
for these slothful mopes?
must everything beautiful be destroyed
by these voids?

who have no appreciation
for life’s infinite variation
but lock themselves in empty rooms
and generate endless clouds of doom?

i wish i could close my eyes
and open them in sweet surprise
at break of dawn
to find all the humans gone

unbound at last
from the dreadful past
slaves to those monstrous creatures
with no redeeming features

how the birds would sing
every new day would bring
some wonderful new thing
o let freedom ring!

Monday, April 26, 2021

blue sky

by dog e relaford

the sky is blue
the clouds are white
it is day
but will be night

a blade of grass
grows unobserved
a butterfly swoops
and then it swerves

a raindrop falls
but falls alone
and then it dries
upon a stone

a beetle crawls
on a fallen leaf
encounters a bird
and comes to grief

a critter tries
to cross the road
meets a spinning tire
and implodes

the sun is tired
it has climbed for miles
it will start back down
in a little while

here is a thought
and it is deep
mother nature
is never asleep

the sky is blue
the clouds are white
it is day
but will be night

Sunday, April 25, 2021


by genghis gilgamesh

i looked at a picture
and it fell off the wall
i whistled a tune
and heard a voice in the hall

i opened the door
and nothing was there
i dreamed of a seashore
so blue and so fair

i went back in the room
and crawled under the bed
and found an old postcard
from aunt jane and uncle fred

it said wish you were
and wish you existed
we looked in the book
but you are not listed

it is really a shame
we are having such fun
with all the beautiful people
but you are not one

i turned into a spider
a tear fell from my eye
there is rain in my cloud
but no bird in my sky

Saturday, April 24, 2021

the helpless ones

by bofa xesjum

the young lion talked helplessly

but the zookeeper was not interested

he had an appointment with dr browne at noon

and was expecting a call from his broker, mr fisk, at two

he felt that the predictions of doom in the press were fabricated

and he was too old a hand to be taken in

meanwhile the lion’s account grew more lurid by the minute

does the creature have no shame, the zookeeper wondered

a cloud drifted back and forth in the yellow sky

the zookeeper looked down at his black shoe and a white spider crawled across it

the interview was over

the lion went back to his cage

still weeping profusely at the injustice of it all

because, in the end, that was all it took


sadly, the orange cat slept

he missed all the excitement

uncle carl was released from prison after serving fourteen years for an undisclosed crime

the front lawn was filled with reporters

but aunt susan made strawberry shortcake for dessert, as she did every thursday

mother pretended to be happy that uncle carl had been released

but she would really rather be in the montana badlands

with her first love, black jack carter

but the reporters were remorseless

one fellow, especially, who wore a red tie and an old-fashioned white trenchcoat in spite of the heat

peggy went outside and attempted to appeal to their better natures

to no avail, as you may have guessed

later that night, watching dan rather, we all pretended that nothing had happened

including uncle carl, who sat quietly in the corner, devouring the last of aunt susan’s strawberry shortcake

Friday, April 23, 2021


by nick nelson


imagine a world of 8,000,000,000 people

where every one of them does their own thing

and doesn’t care what the other 7,999,999,999 tell them to do

and every one of the 8,000,000 thinks their own thoughts

and doesn’t care what the other 7,999,999,999 think

imagine a world of 8,000,000,000 people

where every one of them writes a best selling novel

and the other 7,999,999,999 all read it

and think it is the greatest novel they ever read

and where every one of the 8,000,000,000 people directs a blockbuster film

which wins every academy award

and the other 7,999,999,999 people all watch it

and think it is the greatest movie they ever saw

and where every one of the 8,000,000,000 starts a new religion

and the other 7,999,999,999 are all converted to it

and give all their money and property to it

imagine a world. of 8,000,000,000 people

where every one of them is a poet

sitting in a sidewalk cafe

watching the other 7,999,999,999 walk by

and writing a poem in a little notebook

describing the other 7,999,999,999 walking by

imagine a world. of 8,000,000,000 people

and every one of them is a waiter

bringing a cup of espresso to the 7,999,999 poets

watching the other 7,999,999,998 inhabitants of the planet passing by

and the 7,999,999 poets

leave a tip for the 7,999,999,999 waiters

who will go home to their 7,999,999,999 lonely rooms

and write 7,999,999,999 revolutionary manifestos

that will inspire 7,999,999,999 revolutions


something is missing

someone is missing

where is number 8,000,000,000?

they must be here somewhere

Thursday, April 22, 2021

moonlit road

by genghis gilgamesh

the path is narrow
the forest black
the green man carries
the red man on his back

the monster walks
the moonlit road
nods to a snake
and laughs with a toad

the dead man hangs
on the gallows tree
and swings in the breeze
so easy and free

where is king richard?
where robin hood?
the world is bad
but should be good

the queen in her castle
counts her gold
and sings a song
that never grows old

the young witch smiles
to hear such stuff
but the two old witches
have heard enough

the princess sleeps
in her feather bed
she is alive
but will be dead

the robin sits
on his branch forlorn
and waits for the new world
to be born

Wednesday, April 21, 2021


by bofa xesjum

a gray elephant slept insincerely

a jaguar approached cautiously

somewhere a stock fell

and a little girl was instructed in arithmetic but found it boring

just because something happened does not make it important, dr dee explained patiently

nor, dr burton added, is something interesting just because someone takes the trouble to describe it

victoria squirmed sullenly in her chair

and wished she were outside lying in the grass, with or without her puppy

someone someone someone, she thought

why are they always running on about this so-called someone

where is my fancy man?

and when will it be time for tea?


the white dog walked loudly over the polished floor

agatha was not amused

but what could she do?

lord marsdale had her in his power, at least until the court finally ruled on uncle frederick’s will

and that might not be for many years

how agatha wished she were a man, or a bird

or even the foolish white dog walking loudly over the polished floor

sometimes she thought she hated the dog even more than lord marsdale

and then suddenly a thought hit her like a thunderbolt

she had never seen lord marsdale and the white dog together!

whole new vistas opened up before her

Tuesday, April 20, 2021


by genghis gilgamesh

betty johnson lived on a hill
with a dog named adam and a snake named bill
she went to work every day at the mill
and left a pie on her windowsill

a bum named custer happened by
and spotted betty’s cooling pie
a single teardrop filled his eye
and a bird fell from the sky

and then he saw a cloud
and a voice from it said out loud
there is nothing left to fall
have a nice day, y’all

the voice brought back memories
and made custer weak in the knees
he looked at the sky and passed up the pie
though he could not really say why

custer felt a feeling strange
as he walked along the whispering range
the world was changing
someone was rearranging

the atoms in the universe
it would not be the first
time it had happened to him
but his memories were dim

he trudged along, bereft
only one memory was left
he had a cat named larry snd a dog named joe
it was a long tome ago

they decided to rob the mail
and away to easter island sail
with the jewels in a coffee can
yes, that had been the plan

but king john had got there first
king john, he was the worst
the desert was filled with bones
why would they not leave him alone?

Monday, April 19, 2021

the inhabitant

by dog e relaford

do i remember
how things used to be?
no, not really
i have always just been me

i sit in a room
on the wall is a screen
i press a button
and observe the scene

a lone horseman
rides the range
his hat is pulled low
and his smile is strange

he is as free as a bird
and as crafty as a fox
snakes and bandits
hide behind rocks

a town on the horizon
is waiting for him
ruled by a cattleman
named big jim

the stranger has destiny
on his side
the horse and big jim
are along for the ride

so is the town
and so is the sky
so is my room
and so am i

the red light blinks
my protein is ready
my water glass fills
the air pressure is steady

the stranger rides out of town
it is time for the game
if my team does not win
i will know who to blame

Sunday, April 18, 2021

the withdrawal

by nick nelson

mr jesse james, the richest man in the world, walks into a bank. he carries a new suitcase in his hand, and is accompanied by the lady in red, who is wearing a new fox stole purchased just that morning.

the head cashier, mister william mckinley, recognizing mr james, comes out to greet him.

what can i do for you this morning, sir, mckinley asks.

i want to close my account. i have 222 billion dollars in it and i wish to withdraw it.

certainly, sir. would you like a cashier’s check for the amount? that might be most convenient, although of course it is up to you.

jesse james swings his suitcase up on to a counter beside him. no, i would like it all in crisp new one dollar bills. put them in this case.

certainly sir. it might take a little while.

i am no hurry, but i would like it as soon as possible.,

of course sir. would you like to wait in my office?

no need for that.

very well, sir. i will be as quick as i can.

william mckinley takes the empty suitcase and disappears into the depths of the bank.

the lady in red tugs at the ends of her new fox stole. how long is this going to take? she asks jesse james.

not that long. what is your hurry?

i want to get to the island before the tourists, that’s all.

don’t worry, we will. i will have the tourists and the rabble held up at the dock, if necessary.

outside, the limousine waits with the motor running. the chauffeur, john dillinger, leans against the hood of the sleek vehicle, eating a bag of pretzels. he is careful not to get any crumbs on the car.

a light rain begins to fall.

Saturday, April 17, 2021

my baby left me

by genghis gilgamesh

when my baby left me
time came to a stop
all the countries i conquered rebelled
all my plays on broadway flopped

no one returned my calls
my postcards came back unread
everyone i stopped on the street
said, hey i thought you were dead

i looked at the statues in the park
but mine had been taken down
and the pigeons who loved me so much
had all left town

where are the burgers of yesteryear
the fries so golden and crisp?
is fame only a dream?
is life a will of the wisp?

you ask for answers
and they tell you to click on “like”
you ask if you can sleep on the sidewalk
and they tell you to take a hike

long ago and far away
george washington was president
and he sat all day in a cherry tree
and the branches were never bent

abe lincoln ascended to heaven
wearing a top hat ten feet tall
now i wander the earth in the rain
looking for my tennis ball

my baby left me
and the world can’t be far behind
i thought everybody loved me
how could i have been so blind

Friday, April 16, 2021

the apple

by genghis gilgamesh

the apple fell from the tree

and then what?

a creature came along and ate it

that sounds reasonable

i thought you might think so

it is getting late

not for me

he will be here soon

be that as it may, i don’t care

you say that every night

this time i mean it

but you will find a way

he has his reasons

they all do

he gave her something nice

did she like it?

she may have, or may not

an angel came down from heaven

what will they think of next?

my lips are sealed

it is one and the same to me

all will be revealed

would you have it any other way?

there may be repercussions

their lawyers can sort it out

do not forget the banana

what banana? what about the banana?

that is a whole other story

Thursday, April 15, 2021

the accused

by nick nelson

doctor, doctor, i’m in trouble
my brain is bursting like a bubble
i fall into a black whirlpool
where green snakes hiss and red wolves drool

everyone i ever thought
was my friend is really not
all my life i have been blind
to the portents and the signs

the winks and giggles and little coughs
that should have set my buzzers off
the laughter floating down the breeze
that should have brought me to my knees

at the company get together
the chairman noted the lovely weather
the sun was shining, then how quickly
the eyes turned cold, the smiles turned sickly

do i deserve such obloquy?
i only wanted to be me
must i on the wheel be broke?
i was only making a little joke

a blameless life - and then one slip!
now i am tied to a sinking ship
on a leaky raft i am set adrift
one more wayward breeze - then pffft!

what is that, you want details?
i am sorry but my courage fails
some things, doctor, are best unknown
i ascend the gallows steps alone

ah, now, i feel new resolution
confession is the only solution
how could i ever doubt my guilt?
the machine is silent - the sign says “tilt"