once there was a beaver named bob
who was friends with a rabbit named jack
they were a couple of slobs
and of intelligence had a great lack
one day they went to town
and encountered a lady from spain
she wore a purple ball gown
and had just hopped off a freight train
are you a vampire, bob asked
just for something to say
the lady quickly took him to task
like a horse with a mouthful of hay
you guys slay me, she asserted
as bob looked askance at jack
and a crisis was narrowly averted
when old number 9 came down the track
a man from spain got off number 9
with a black mustache on his face
his shoes had a professional shine
and he hated the whole human race
he greeted bob and jack with a sneer
and the lady with a sweeping bow
and said, i see i have nothing to fear
but will be damned if i know why or how
in another time and another place
a lady told her maid
you should always wear a smile on your face
not only when you get paid
outside the window the sun went down
and darkness crept over the lawn
the lady assumed a worried frown
because the croquet wickets were gone
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