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Friday, June 30, 2023

the captain


by horace p sternwall




a bankrupt banker named godfrey grouse
lived in the attic of an abandoned house
he played chopin etudes on an old oil drum
and considered the neighbors philistine scum

very different was miss deville
who lived in the house at the top of the hill
and treated the tradesmen in a civilized way
when they presented the bills she could never pay

miss deville had a servant named wilma worth
who had been singled out from birth
for reasons that have never been clear
because you know how people talk, my dear

wilma had a gentleman friend
who drove old number 9 around the bend
he called himself captain captain, not casey, jones
and he courted wilma in sepulchral tones

the captain married wilma in june
and told her he would be back soon
then he headed on down the line
where he is still looking for a good time

the world is always new
to an old yellow dog named blue
who never howls at the moon
because he will be a wolf again soon



Thursday, June 29, 2023

the next dance


by bofa xesjum




the street cried out for love

but the dance instructor hated life.

the dance instructor who hated life headed for the next exit.

besides life, the dance instructor hated the car they were driving.

it started to rain on the man.

death watched from a cloud.


and laughed at the man walking in the rain.

who had once loved a woman.

life waited at the exit

as the cloud passed over a woman

it was just another rainy day

a day in somebody’s life

i would hate to think it is all a big joke.

the woman looked back down the street.

as the cloud passed over the exit

and the driver stopped the car , and asked,

want to learn to dance?



Tuesday, June 27, 2023

head


by walter w johnson iii




i have a head
and the head has a top
in the top is a brain
overflowing with slop

i walk down the street
people ask me my game
they think something or other
and i must think the same

my arm has a hand
and the hand makes a fist
the fist holds a flower
but i have never been kissed

my leg has a foot
on the foot is a shoe
i walk in the rain
but my heart is true

i walk down the street
people ask me my name
i don’t know what to tell them
ain’t that a shame



Friday, June 23, 2023

in the night, part 2


by nick nelson

part 2 of 2





bradley johanson woke up.

he looked up at the ceiling and thought, something really good is going to happen to me today.

bradley was born in carthage missouri in the early years of the 21st century.

he was the only child of judy, a single mother who was herself the only child of a single mother, janelle, who was one of the few survivors of a small community in north dakota described by local media as a “cult”, most of whose other members had died of a mysterious illness which spread through them during a severe winter.

bradley was an awkward child who did not make friends and was devoted to his mother and grandmother and wanted to make them proud of him.

he did poorly in school. judy tried to help him with his homework but was not very effective at it.

when he was not in school or trying to do his homework, bradley watched television - network television, as the small family could not afford cable. he did not care much for the religious shows judy and janelle watched - although he never complained when they were on - and liked the movies occasionally screened, especially the wizard of oz, and star wars and srar trek movies.

bradley daydreamed of writing screenplays for such movies and making large amounts of money, but had no clear idea about how to go about doing so.

judy and janelle died within three months of each other. bradley left high school without graduating and found work as an uber driver.

on an impulse, he moved to a larger city closer to a coast, and continued with uber in his new surroundings.

on the day bradley woke up and felt something really good as going to happen to him, he put in an uneventful day of driving, and when the sun went down he made his way to a small burger king a block from his apartment. it was more crowded than usual, but he found a small unoccupied table for two by the window and sat down at it with his bacon cheeseburger and fries and iced tea.

ll an ordinary looking white man about his own age, whom bradley thought looked familiar but whom he had never spoken to, appeared.

mind if i sit here? it is kind of crowded.

no, go ahead.

the man sat down with his spicy crispy chicken sandwich and lemonade.

neither of them spoke, but looked out the window as they ate and night completed its fall.

bradley finished his bacon cheeseburger and tossed half his fries in the trash along with his wrapper and paper cup and and then left and went home to his apartment.

it was eight thirty. the day had three and a half hours left.

he had forgotten his feeling in the morning that something really good was going to happen to him.

bradley watched “smooth jazz for lovers” for two hours on you tube and went to bed and fell asleep immediately.

*

when the guy he thought looked a little bit like himself was gone, pete took his time finishing his spicy crispy chicken sandwich.

then he got up and left, leaving his tray and wrapper and naokins and paper cup on the table.

it was a little before nine o’clock. he would have liked to go to a strip club, but decided to save his money and go to a sports bar on the next block instead.

he did not see anybody in the sports bar he knew. he took a seat at the bar in front of a big screen showing a baseball game between the los angeles angels and the los angeles dodgers, with ohtani pitching against clayton kershaw.

the dodgers knocked ohtani ot of the game and went ahead by six runs in the fifth inning. pete was not a fan of either team, and he had not bet on the game and now it was too late.

he suddenly remembered getting up in the morning and feeling something terrible was going to happen to him. he had totally forgotten about it during the day when he was driving around.

there was an hour and forty five minutes left in the day.

what could happen?

the sandwich at burger king had not really filled him up. he was trying to lose weight, but the food at the bar was not half bad as long as you made safe choices. he ordered a cheeseburger.



Thursday, June 22, 2023

in the night, part 1


by nick nelson

part 1 of 2





pete fothergill woke up.

he got up and looked out the window and thought, something terrible is going to happen to me today.

he got dressed and went to work. despite his forebodings, the sun was shining

pete was born in paris pennsylvania in one of the last years of the 20th century.

he had an older brother and a younger sister.

when he was seven years his parents split up and pete and his brother moved with their father to san somewhere in california where his father got a job as a gardener.

pete did not like school.

he went out for the baseball and soccer teams in high school.

he did not make the soccer team. he made the baseball team but did not play much.

his brother jeff made the football team, and jeff relentlessly made fun of pete for playing girly sports.

too bad the school don’t have a softball team for guys. maybe they have one at the y.

jeff loved playing football, but did not much care if the team won or lost, as long as he got some licks in.

pete fell in love with a girl named charlotte zebrinsky. charlotte’s parents had lots of money and she was nicknamed “princess grace” by the other students and did not seem aware in any way of pete’s existence.

jeff and pete drifted apart after they left school.

len, their father, had always had a drinking problem and disappeared.

pete married a girl a few years older than himself named vera lee whom he met online, but they broke up after four months.

pete got a job as a driver for amazon, and then for a small independent delivery service run by a guy named charlie

he liked working for charlie, but would have preferred being a pop star or a pro ballplayer, or winning the lottery.

he bought lottery tickets every week.

end of part 1



Monday, June 19, 2023

two people


by dog e relaford




sam smith was the loneliest man in the world
and hated the whole human race
he wore a red and blue tie and a black mustache
and always had a smile on his face

he married a girl named greta brown
who in people always looked for the best
she always had a smile on her face
and put the world to the test

sam got a job in a building of glass
though his pappy had worked in the mill
his boss always had a smile on her face
as she gave sam roles to fill

the years go by with a smile on their face
looking down on greta and sam
and all the people they pass by
because that is just who they am



Saturday, June 17, 2023

haircut


by bofa xesjum



flora decided to cut kenneth a little slack.

she had become weary of his folderdol.

but decided to give him one more chance.

she set a trap for him outside the old hotel.

larry was watching from the doorway of the abandoned subway station across the street.

it started to rain and larry took the racing form out of his pocket.

suddenly he felt hungry, and decided to go down the street and get himself a burger and fries.

flora was left alone to wait for kenneth.

kenneth, her knight in shining armor from another universe.

until he showed his true colors under cover of darkness

all he had to do was row his little boat through the deluge.

but some people never know when they are well off.

or know what hit them. when it finally does.

a knight has to polish his armor on a regular basis, or it loses its shine.

a curious animal crossed the road.

flora did not see it, but larry would have, except for his sudden craving for the burger.

but hunger is the basic fact of existence, so what are you going to do?

a young man walked up the street toward the old hotel.

his tortoise shell glasses had a strange incandescent shine to them.

the young man walked steadily through the rain, seemingly unaware of it.

some people retain their youthful enthusiasms longer than others.

suddenly flora had a harbinger of foreboding.

two doors down sam the barber was starting to fall asleep waiting for a customer to show up.

sam had had a hard life.

sam was descended from a long line of mighty barbarians.

who had stormed many a castle in the sky in their glory days.

the curious animal wandered down the alley between the hotel and jake’s smoke shop.

a man wearing a brown hat approached the hotel, but he was not kenneth.

nor was he a mighty barbarian.

he walked past sam’s shop, as he was not thinking of getting his hair cut.

the rain stopped.

but started again three hours later.


Tuesday, June 13, 2023

eve


by bofa xesjum




the joke was a victory…

oliver lived in a sewer.

in his previous life he had been an understanding person.

now he decided to hit the road.

it was really funny.

oliver saw evangeline standing on the highway with her thumb out.

as the recreational vehicle approached, oliver made a curious sound.

permit me to introduce myself, oliver addressed evangeline.

you scare me, you slob, evangeline replied.

suddenly a yellow cab appeared in the distance.

oliver and evangeline watched breathlessly as it zoomed toward them.

and then a gorilla appeared in the sky.

does that gorilla belong to you? oliver asked evangeline.

no, but i have worshipped him from afar from the day i was born, evangeline replied.

i guess that is all right then.

but the fun was just beginning.

later, when it was over, evangeline and the gorilla walked down the strangely quiet road,

evangeline had shortened her name to eve.

the gorilla’s name was nelson.

not a creature stirred in the forest on the left side of the road.

at last they came to an abandoned gas station and diner.

we have been here before, said nelson

everybody has been everywhere before, eve replied brusquely.

have it your way.

do you think we could find anything to eat or drink in there?

not likely, and dawn is approaching.

i am going to investigate. you can go on and i will catch you later.

good bye.

the sun came up very quickly.

but a fine mist covered the earth as eve continued on, talking to herself in the way that she had.



Monday, June 12, 2023

gary warner and ted rogers


by nick nelson




gary warner was walking down the street when he was approached by a young woman wielding a red phone.

excuse me, the young woman asked gary, can i ask you a few questions?

maybe.

do you know a man named ted rogers?

that is a pretty common name.

this ted rogers wears a man bun and was on the wilson high basketball team but did not play much and is a big warriors and steph curry fan.

oh yeah, i know that guy.

do you know him well?

he is not my best friend but i know him.

do you mind answering a few questions about him?

if they don’t take too long.

on a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate ted rogers as a person generally, 1 being poor and 10 being excellent?

um - a 4.

how would you rate him as a possible president of the united states?

a 5.

as the leader of a platoon stranded in the jungles of mars?

there aren’t any jungles on mars.

in a jungle on the fourth planet of the andromeda galaxy?

a 3.

how would you rate him as a deadly assassin, assuming he was properly trained?

3.5.

how would you rate ted rogers as a husband and father?

i did not know he was married or had any kids.

he has been married to the same woman for six years and has two kids.

wow, he sounds like a real family man, i will give him a 6 - make it a 7.

how would you rate him on looks?

he was kind of an ugly bastard, i will give him a 2.

how would you rate him on racism, sexism, homophobia and transphobia?

um - i do not know him well enough to say. i do not recall discussing any of those things with him.

thank you vey much, you have been very helpful.

you are welcome.

gary left the young woman entering some notes on her phone, and continued down the street to the parking garage.

suddenly it hit him.

somebody somewhere might be asking questions like that - or even worse - about him, gary warner!

it made him stop and think.

but - what could he do about it?



Friday, June 9, 2023

if


by horace p sternwall



if adam had been a woman
he wouldn’t have been a man
if moses married the pharoah’s daughter
it would have been part of the plan

if eve had been an apple
she would have fallen from the tree
if billy the kid had stayed at home
he would be just like you and me

when columbus discovered america
he put candles on his cake
when daniel boone got lost in the woods
the earth began to shake

cain took a bus to las vegas
because abel was not his brother
if is not one thing, my dear friend
it is because it is another


Thursday, June 1, 2023

people


by walter w johnson iii



people say lots of things
you do not know what they mean
they are possessed by demons
and surrounded by things unseen

people see lots of things
that other people do not
is everything an illusion?
it is just a thought

people are nice
except when they are mean
sometimes the sky is blue
sometimes the grass is green

clouds appear in the sky
and sometimes drift away
other times the rain falls
there is nothing else to say