Thursday, March 25, 2021

Eulogy: Hansha's Revenge

(narrative style to Chopin's Piano Sonata in Bb minor)

~ inhale

the dirge did emerge, not too fast, arrived from the Quarter's deep depths,
gone then before them to what lie there ahead ~

~ exhale

a river rising above it's gnarled banks, the dead apprising,
small kami midst their ranks whisked away in its Hellish vortex

inhale ~

dead and lovely, a sigh, a girlish fart, danse cumbia y ko ko luce,
humanity's stank before the mast, now, walk the plank

"Muertos , Assaulto, Assaulto!!"

on the very day, one yet to be, twixt twilight's been and past ~

~ exhale

so suck it up, then ban all art, don't dare forgo old black jack,
our master, [we desirous] his disaster, [we inherit] even the Pope,
and all the Kings, as dear, wee Cyrus draws his knife

inhale ~

together now [never, how?!] . . . can we forgive . . .
feet dragging, pain nagging, delicious, pernicious
how absurd this lover's march?

then one last breath, we dead poets and drum and fife



Tuesday, March 23, 2021

who is

by timothy t jones

who is he who never speaks
but only laughs?
who wants everything you have
but settles for half?

who will let you go along
day by day?
but when the time is right for him
will make you pay?

around every corner
behind every door
at every bus stop
walking on every shore

his collar over his face
his hat over his eyes
he will find you when he wants you
but will make it a surprise

listen, o wayfarer
for this is the strangest part
he wants to be your friend
and write his name in your heart

Saturday, March 20, 2021

poem - cowboy joe

by genghis gilgamesh

cowboy joe was a stranger
he wandered from town to town
rescuing fair maidens
and gunning bad guys down

he had not always been cowboy joe
in previous centuries
he had been a downtrodden peasant
or a sailor on the seven seas

he began as a loyal pikeman
for richard the lion hearted
and was always ready to do his duty
whenever a new war started

and king richard loved him back
they went to save the holy land
and get the world back on track

joe loved good king arthur
and they searched for the holy grail
and he also rode with jesse james
and together they robbed the mail

joe rode with alexander
to the end of the world so sad
and taught genghis khan everything he knew
when genghis was only a lad

sometimes joe was a farmer
whose fields were laid to waste
but he was always ready to join the parade
and march with a smile in his face

o ye who talk of worldly peace
and frown upon fame and glory
when you sit around the campfire
what have you for a story?

Friday, March 19, 2021

poem 35

by dog e relaford

adam was an aggravator
boris was a boob
conrad was a connoisseur
ricky was a rube

eddie was a con man
freddy was his tool
george did a hundred pushups
before he went to school

henry was a hustler
joey was a jerk
kenny painted a picture
before he went to work

donny was a dinosaur
lenny was a lout
isidore read the heavens
to see what it was all about

manny was a moocher
nelson was a nerd
oscar shouted on the corner
louder than you ever heard

penny was a panhandler
queenie did no work
sally stayed out of the shadows
because that was where tony lurked

uncle john was a dreamer
vera took him for a ride
weeping willie had big ideas
aunt jenny never really tried

you could have fooled big betty
but charlie had them all pegged
but don’t tell little david
because elwood likes his ham and eggs

they all lived together
in a cardboard pizza box
and collapsed like civilization
because money talks

Monday, March 15, 2021

the clouds roll by and leave the train behind

by bofa xesjum

william henry harrison woke up and got dressed

he went down the stairs and went outside and walked down the street

he asked himself what was going on

he saw a piece of paper and bent down and picked it up

he read it, and looked around and contemplated the scene

he realized he didn’t have a clue

he emptied his pockets but there was nothing in them except a buffalo nickel, a comb, and a handkerchief

he forgot what he had come outside for

maybe, he thought, i should have looked out the window first before going outside

then william had a sudden inspiration

he internalized his rage

because the world just did not care

he kept his own counsel

and laughed out loud

and decided to made the best he could of the situation

pow! he never knew what hit him

he observed the scene with amused detachment

the blow, wherever it had come from, had knocked his hat and coat off and he put them back on

he quickly removed the smile from his face

and remembered his upbringing

he sat up suddenly when he saw a policeperson approaching

he took a deep breath

and understood immediately what was happening

he verified the i d numbers on the sole of his shoe and on the fire hydrant

later, when he walked out the door of the police station

he examined the letter closely

and yelled loudly for his keeper

because he had zeroed in on the solution

story - your turn

by bofa xesjum

the archangel gabriel came out of the house.

the archangel michael was waiting in the car for him.

did you do it?


i just couldn’t do it.

that’s all right.

yuu’ll do it tomorrow.

or the next day.

the archangel michael started the car.

they got on to the freeway.

a car came up behind them.

it was officer zeke brown.

the archangel michael pulled over.

morning, fellows.

good morning, officer.

you boys behaving yourselves?

i am glad to hear it.

officer zeke brown looked down the highway,

it was empty.

the sky was blue.

all right.

you just keep on behaving themselves.

officer zeke brown got back in his car and drove away.

you see.

it was a good thing i didn’t do anything.

don’t start.

let’s get a cup of coffee.

it’s your turn to pay.

Saturday, March 13, 2021

even stephen

by bofa xesjum

when stephen was born he had two parents - lee and alex.

stephen liked lee but he did not like alex.

he had two brothers - donald and joe - and two sisters - carla and nancy.

stephen liked joe and carla but he did not like donald and nancy.

the family had a dog named spot and a cat named fluff.

stephen liked spot but did not care for fluff.

you begin to get the picture.

when stephen went to day care the day care center was operated by two women named betty and shirley, and he liked betty but not shirley.

there were ten other children in the day care center besides stephen and his sister carla.

stephen liked albert, ian, winnie, cleveland, and beanie, bur he did not like woodrow, franklin, angela, malcolm or lee.

stephen was a quiet and unobtrusive child, not particularly good looking or ugly, and nobody much noticed or cared what he thought about anything.

his habits of thought applied not just to people and animals but to things, and to cultural artifacts.

he liked peanut butter and jelly sandwiches but not peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches, potato chips but not pretzels, coffee but not tea, bagels but not doughnuts, cheeeburgers but not hot dogs, blue but not red, green but not purple, star trek but not star wars, zombies but not vampires, football but not basketball…

he always wore a baseball cap straight on his head, never backward.

he progressed through the process of acclimatization to cilvilization without incident.

when he graduated from state college he got an entry level job doing indescribable things at a large corporation.

one sunny afternoon stephen was given a performance and personality review by a human resources technician named dawn.

dawn had a video of stephen interacting with his fellow employees at the annual company picnic.

i notice that you do not mingle with all the other employees, dawn said to stephen. what is the meaning of this? is there some sort of unconscious bias operating here? i notice that you never speak to walter, who is a ukrainian-american, or to claudette, who is a certified priestess of the church of the remnant. are you prejudiced against ukranian-americans, or against the members of the church of the remnant?

not at all, stephen replied, it is just that i can not be expected to like everybody,

oh, and why is that? dawn retorted sharply. this is an enlightened all-welcoming company, and we expect our employees to be all-welcoming too.

but i can only like one half of anything, stephen replied plaintively. it is just the way i was born and have always been.

stephen went on to explain to dawn, as best he could, the workings of his brain, and dawn listened with growing attentiveness.

all this is very interesting, dawn said when stephen had finished. as you see, i work here as a human resources technician during the day, but in my free time i am pursuing a degree in representational interactive sociology, and your case seems to me an interesting one, which might shed no small light on the mysteries of human behavior. i would like to interview you for a possible project which might revolutionize the fields of sociology and psychology. together we can make a great advance in human knowledge. would you be interested in that?

sure, stephen replied, i have nothing better to do.

all right then, how about next wednesday?

stephen and dawn agreed to meet after work on the following wednesday.

but on wednesday something came up in dawn’s personal life, and she called stephen and they agreed to meet on the next monday evening.

with his meeting with dawn cancelled, stephen decided to go for a walk in the park. he was never seen again, and so the hoped for advance in human knowledge was not made.

Friday, March 12, 2021

poem - lester

by genghis gilgamesh

lester walked down the street
he had a hat on his head and shoes on his feet
his pace was slow and his mien was forlorn
he wished that he had never been born

he wondered if he should take a bus
it had ever been thus
his hat was blue and reversed on his head
and he wished he was back in bed

his last stay in bed had not been a success
he had been consumed with restlessness
his blue dreams were boring and his green dreams were ghastly
and all his mates were cultured and nasty

in the purple halls of eternal time
he had been accused of a terrible crime
from an empty book a page had been torn
in his pocket was a bag of candy corn

he had never owned a gun or a knife
or had a purpose in life
he was a naturally peaceful sort
and had no interest in sports

and even less interest in politics
but enjoyed a good handful of trail mix
he had never been to portugal or spain
his favorite movie star was john wayne

his favorite singer was cher
a a child he slept with a teddy bear
a curious chain of circumstance
kept him from ever learning to dance

society decided he had sinned
and cast him to the four winds
he accepts his fate
at the bus stop he forever waits

would you like to be lester’s friend?
if you do please send
in the attached envelope
a drawing of a moose or an antelope

Saturday, March 6, 2021

poem - the master

by genghis gilgamesh

when i die
think of me every day
remember my ancient wisdom
and all i tried to say

i was the truth and the light
and said just what i pleased
listen to my words
on every passing breeze

those who came before me
were sad pathetic fools
cast aside their folly
and walk only by my rules

you will not regret it
when the sky opens at last
when all that is true is future
and all that is false is past

i came here among you
to save you from yourselves
believe exactly what i tell you
for there is nothing else

a dog runs up the mountain
with an eagle in its mouth
the hills are the horizon
east is west, and north is south

the tiger and the deer sit down
and sing a happy song
the serpent and the wolf join in
can’t we all just get along?

Monday, March 1, 2021


by fred flynn

a soft afternoon light filtered through the window of the laboratory.

dr frank cleared his throat. “well, doctors, i think we can congratulate ourselves on doing all that we can. the creature is as ready as it is going to be, and we may as well set it loose.”

drs fromm and dee nodded their assent, and technical assistant fry added “hear, hear”.

the creature, known officially as t-975-h, but usually referred to by the doctors as “t”, represented the final flowering of the human race.

the three doctors, assisted by fry, had been working for years on the final modification needed to assure the creature’s perfection - its ability to reproduce itself.

but now the problem had been solved. when the creature felt that the time had come that, for whatever reason, it did not wish to prolong its own existence, it had only to punch in, or say aloud, the code - which happened to be “spicy brown mustard” - and a perfect copy of itself would emerge from its left big toenail.

with this last problem solved, “t” could now be released into the environment created for it, where it would exist in an eternal temperature of 65 degrees, and have unlimited water, oxygen, and protein-bearing green plants.

and, most importantly, it would be completely alone, with no other creatures to abuse, alienate, exploit, or oppress it, or that it could itself be tempted to abuse, alienate, exploit, or oppress.

fry unlocked and opened the door of the laboratory, and he and the three doctors watched as the liberated t-975-h shuffled off into the world created for it.

somewhat to their surprise, it did not look back, but proceeded down the road at a good pace.

dr frank shouted after it, “and don’t come back, complaining that you are bored!” the other three had a good laugh at this, and they closed the door and went back inside the laboratory.

t-975-h continued along the road until it was out of sight of the laboratory.

it sat down on a smooth rock (all the rocks in the environment were smooth).

i am bored, it thought, but i can not just go back and say so.

and i am lonesome. so lonesome i could cry.

a tear fell from its eye.

back in the laboratory, drs frank, fromm, and dee, and assistant fry lit up cigars, poured themselves glasses of whiskey, and sat down to a game of whist.

they cut cards for first deal and dr dee won.