Saturday, April 30, 2022


by bofa xesjum

a road
a tree
a drop of rain

grand finale

by dog e relaford

i woke up this morning
with nothing to do
and nowhere to go
though the sky was bright and blue

i wrote a letter
to no one in particulous
my brain is dead
and my story is ridiculous

my story has no beginning
and my poem does not scan
my mom was a donut
and my dad was a coffee drinking man

my grandma was a jar of peanuts
and my grandpa a loaf of bread
i could ask them how the world began
or if they are really dead

it might rain this afternoon
or maybe the world will end
i could look it up on google
if google would only be my friend

i sit here in this little room
like blackbeard on the bounding main
but the mail will arrive at noontime
so i can not complain

it might have a check for a billion dollars
or a catalogue for seeds
or an invitation to a royal wedding
that would be all i need

do you live in a little room
are you just like me?
do you enjoy your captivity
or do you yearn to be free?

maybe you live in a palace
a palace with palatial grounds
if you invite me to dinner
i promise i won’t make a sound

Friday, April 29, 2022

night shift

by dog e relaford

sandy was a justice warrior
who possessed a righteous aura
buddy was a boomer
with a limited sense of humor

jojo was a sad clown
whom the world had let down
of a happy face
he had no trace

in a town called drift
they worked the night shift
selling energy drinks and beef jerky
to the exploited workers

who came in from the wind and rain
sandy felt their pain
but buddy only laughed
and said they did not know half

of what he had seen
which would turn them green
when sandy and buddy disagreed
jojo’s heart would bleed

jojo had seen it all
but to relate it he had no call
buddy’s laughter caused him pain
but he did not wish to relive again

the sadness of the world’s destruction
they had not called it such when
he had had a vision of hell
which did not go well

in the confusion
he lost his illusions
but if buddy and sandy had dreams of glory
jojo refrained from telling his story

so the world continues to spin
and the sky with its evil grin
will throw buddy a nickel and sandy a dime
until the end of recorded time

Thursday, April 28, 2022

love story of natural children, part 2

by genghis gilgamesh

part two of two

for part one, click here

the familiar tale might have commenced
in the pattern referenced
by the late professor dunne
as “human mating 101”

but fate had another plan
for the young woman and the young man
harry lost his money in a friendly game of cards
a development that he took hard

he was forced to give up idle enjoyment
and seek honest employment
which he found behind the counter of the general store
greeting customers who came through the door

one day millicent found herself
with no sassafras tea on her shelf
she wished to have some more
so she betook herself to the general store

reader, you can guess the rest
perhaps it was all for the best
harry continued to live and breathe
as did ella jane and millicent, you may believe

harry had the barefaced effrontery
not to flee the country
millicent changed hers and ella janes’s courses
and looked to fortune from other sources

harry saved his earnings for a while
but patient accumulation was not his style
he bought a racehorse named captain ben
and was never seen in the town again

ella jane got religion, and millicent died
they never had anything to hide
their roads were straight, and never twisted
but they were quite happy to have existed

the end

Wednesday, April 27, 2022

love story of natural children, part 1

by genghis gilgamesh

part one of two

harry hicks was a natural child
born to be free and wild
he roamed the earth like a tumbleweed
and was somewhat inclined to greed

harry loved a girl named ella jane
who lived in a house on a windy plain
with her widowed mother and a black cat
the mother was thin but the cat was fat

harry came to pay his respects
the mother looked at him through her specs
she thought he might be rich
her brain began to twitch

ella jane was more astute
and saw that harry was just a galoot
with no more future than a hayloft rat
but she did not care too much about that

if harry was willing to earn a fair wage
things might proceed to a next stage
and ella jane encourage his advances
because life is a succession of chances

ella jane’s mother, whose name by the way
was margaret millicent may
thought from harry’s attitude
that his background was not so rude

that he was a scion of the upper classes
having his way with country lasses
but could be brought to heel
by a woman who was real

did ella jane have it in her
to tame the randy sinner?
margaret millicent thought she might
because she had been brought up right

for part two, click here

Tuesday, April 26, 2022

bill jones

by horace p sternwall

bill jones was a natural man
he was part of the master plan
if he could buy it, it was sold
and he always came in from the cold

one day he met a floozie
when she asked him for the news, he
responded with a grin
we have all been saved from sin

the floozie took her time
throwing him a lousy dime
she could have thrown him a nickel instead
but thoughtfully scratched her head

i have been all over the world, she opined
and thought i knew the human mind
but if you will pardon my ignorance
from what sin have we been saved, perchance?

i have one answer, bill replied
with a smile that still was wide
as he shook his head from side to side
the things they taught in school - they lied

there is no heaven up above
there is no universal love
there is no house at the end of the lane
where we meet all our old pals again

but all are saved from every sin
when the wheel rolls round again -
the floozie could only roll her eyes
while bill happily pontificized

though you think it not quite nice
i beg to offer you this advice
hesitate not, and do not blink
if someone offers you a drink

Monday, April 25, 2022

walking in the rain

by genghis gilgamesh

jeremy felt the world’s pain
and went for long walks in the rain
he had a cobra for a pet
which did not like to get wet

when jeremy went on his walks
the cobra mended grandma’s socks
grandma was not properly grateful
and devoured cream puffs by the plateful

grandma had seen better days
her hair was white and her face was gray
alive, she had her hopes and fears
but had been dead for many years

she had ideas above her station
and engaged the cobra in conversation
the cobra mumbled brief replies
and did not look grandma in the eyes

meanwhile jeremy strolled along
listening to the wind’s sad song
nobody else was in the street
except patrolman perkins on his beat

perkins and jeremy went back a ways
perkins’s cow had often grazed
on the lawn of jeremy’s vast estate
until it met a dreadful fate

since then they had drifted far apart
for jeremy had not the heart
to elucidate the sad details
of his years in the rajah’s crowded jails

good morning, governor, perkins growled
as the rain lashed and the wind howled
the day is long and the government rotten
and many things are best forgotten

Sunday, April 24, 2022

johnny and jenny

by dog e relaford

johnny woke up
he was just a guy
he loved pretty jenny
in the sweet bye and bye

he got up and got dressed
because that is what he did
he got a jar of instant coffee
and twisted off the lid

he made a cup of instant coffee
which was not very good
he had been raised
in a lower class neighborhood

he wanted to call jenny
but it was not yet noon
if he woke her before that
she would cal him a goon

johnny looked out the window
the sky was blue
he sipped his instant coffee
and wondered what to do

with his day and with his life
they were both the same thing
he did not want to dance
and he did not want to sing

he wanted to take jenny
away to a desert isle
but getting her to do that
might take a while

he stood at the window
and looked out at the sky
life is sad
and that is no lie

Saturday, April 23, 2022

promised land

by horace p sternwall

my mama told me
when i was just a child
men get lonely
when women run wild

or maybe it was
the other way around
life can be confusing
i have found

my uncle john told me
when i was just a lad
they get you in the end
so don’t be sad

they sent me to school
and i won first prize
for being the most

they gave me a book
and said it was the scriptures
but i could not even
read the pictures

sharks have teeth
and snakes have fangs
some are born to be drowned
and some are born to be hanged

i ran to the highway
and walked by its side
the sheriff pulled up
and said, let’s take a ride

he drove me to the desert
and put a shovel in my hand
and that is how i made it
to the promised land

Friday, April 22, 2022


by anonymous

different people are different

different people have different favorite things

with some people it is another living creature

like a cat or a dog or a python or an alligator or a goldfish

or even another human being

like a husband or wife or maybe a pop star or media star like the rock or kim kardashian

or a famous person that they read books about like winston churchill or che guevara

or a person they have a poster of, like einstein or marilyn monroe or chairman mao

or maybe their favotrite thing is a crossword or sudoko puzzle they do every day in the newspaper

or maybe a favorite food like a pizza from a particular place

or an omelette they order every day at a diner

most of these these things can be replaced if you lose them or get tired of them

you can always replace a husband or a wife or a cat or a dog

or do a different puzzle in a different paper or online

or go to a different pizza place or diner or try something new

or even suggest some change in the way something is cooked

like, tell suzy the waitress to tell the cook this omelette could use a little more cracked pepper or purple onions

but with me it is a little different

my favorite thing has always been my brain

i have always tried to take care of it as it is hard to replace or at least would be very expensive to do so

but lately it has been letting me down

it does not process the clear crisp images it used to and that i really liked

and also i have a hard time following arguments

which is specially annoying as people argue more than ever about more things

but what can you do?

that is enough about me and my problems

what is your favorite thing?

maybe you do not even have one

but most people do

it is a scientifically proven fact

Thursday, April 21, 2022

on and on

by genghis gilgamesh

i had a dog named windy pine
who was born under a bad sign
and an old orange cat named uncle phil
who slept on the archbishop’s windowsill

the bishop had a maid named mrs crumb
who kept the poor man under her thumb
he kept a bottle up on the shelf
because he just couldn’t help himself

they all went to church in a leaky boat
until they were old enough to vote
they voted for mckinley in the last election
after much thoughtful introspection

the town went broke when they burned down the mill
if hoover doesn’t get you, roosevelt will
william jennings bryan was a friend of mine
they let him out of jail when i paid his fine

out in the desert they built a bomb
and dropped it with a suave aplomb
they say things will never be the same
and that would certainly be a shame

i have roamed the earth since it was flat
if you know this, i know that
i taught moses everything he knew
and some of it was even true

if you see me sitting under a tree
know that my wisdom is all free
some day it will all be gone
but the road keeps running on

Wednesday, April 20, 2022

run and hide

by horace p sternwall

al had a minute
sally had an hour
they went down to the graveyard
but did not pick a flower

johnny had one
jenny had two
they came to the end of the road
and did not know what to do

alice was a vampire
benny was a ghoul
between them they knew everything
because they never went to school

moses built a pyramid
to hide the pharoah’s bones
he woke up in the desert
and he was all alone

i got a cat named thirst
and a dog named hunger
neither of them
are getting any younger

ben franklin was a preacher
abe lincoln liked to talk
when george washington saw them coming
he went for a little walk

a nickel is a nickel
and a dime is a dime
you can rub them together
when st peter says it’s time

you can run from the rain
you can hide from the wind
but your pockets are empty
because brother you have sinned

Tuesday, April 19, 2022

a particular time and place

by nick nelson

nothing is real

yes it looks that way

take me for example

i used to be considered quite a guy

then i lost everything

i looked out my window one morning and there was nothing there

my so called friends had vanished in the night

like mist in the moonlight

i never expected such a thing

it was all i could do not to laugh

but i pulled myself together

and made myself think

there is a right way and a wrong way

oh i know what you are thinking

could i be a little more specific?

how can anybody make any sense out of my ramblings?

that is a valid point

i am a very particular person

i am myself and nobody else

i am also the embodiment of a particular time and place

what do you want from me anyway

have i not suffered enough?

excuse me for a minute

while i change my brain

darkness is fallling

a killer is on the loose

you find it amusing do you

you would - i know what you are like