Thursday, March 23, 2023


by bofa xesjum

i dreamed i murdered
the swedish ambassador
- the dirty rat!

because he wanted
to look at my pictures
of duchesses in flowered hats

especially the picture of big flossie
which had belonged
to my father

and grandfather
and great grandfather
before me

get back, mr ambassador!
the deed done
i ran down the winding staircase

past the dim lamps
and darkened portraits
of forgotten princes and statesmen -

the police were sympathetic
taking my exalted station
into due consideration

but an international incident
brewed on the horizon -
what a curious phrase

under the circumstances
- “brewing” -
but i had no time

to consider its etymology -
o etymology!

and cavalry horses

Monday, March 20, 2023

on the other side

by bofa xesjum

on the other side of the hill they take the money right out of your shoes

they waited for it under a cloudy sky

excuse me, but nobody knows you

clowns are sad, because you never know

boys will be boys, because george washington could not tell a lie

ducks float in the water, because many are called

elephants remember, but how did it come to this?

right you are, it is all a big joke

it is too bad that you are quite the comedian

nobody knows you, so quit while you are ahead

i told you so - america is the greatest country in the world

just you wait - your number will be called

there are no excuses for how this turned out

we have zero tolerance for the very well

flowers bloom in the spring forever and ever

right you are and right you are forever

love conquers all when the flowers blow away

clowns are sad because they are always right

elephants remember what george washington really did

america was the greatest country in the world when it was sold down the river

just you wait, you will all get the joke

boys will be boys, for as long as it takes

just you wait, it will all disappear in a flash

ducks float in the water, because you never know

i told you so, because love conquers all

wait for it, and watch the skies over the hills

they were sold down the river under a bad sign

and that is when it all started to come apart

Tuesday, March 14, 2023

2 poems

by walter w johnson iii


sometimes i feel so all alone
i want to get on the telephone
and call everybody i ever knew
and tell them i am feeling blue

but i do not know their number
or whether they are in endless slumber
or if they would answer my call
or remember me at all

this is how it ends
with my phone my only friend
it answers every question i ask
and never tells me to take off my mask


i try to write happy poems
not just moans and groans
but somehow they write themselves
in increasingly mournful tones

why is the universe so sad
is it because it is fading away?
maybe i will try to write my happy poem
some other day

Thursday, March 9, 2023

in a mist

by dog e relaford

i love to lie in bed on rainy days
and dream of long ago heroic ways
when knights and yeomen battled for the prize
of a limpid glance from a maiden’s flashing eyes

when golden banners above castles flew
and fleecy clouds emblazoned skies of blue
when clashing lances garnered loud applause
and love and honor were nature’s only laws

the four winds filled the sails
of explorers who brought tales
of glory beyond price
for those who dared to throw the dice

sadly things have changed
and the world been rearranged
by bankers, bureaucrats, and clerks
beneath gray skies behold their works

now shipless sinbads roam alone
through caverns of steel on streets of stone
helpless vassals far from home
clutching cups of styrofoam

with brains benumbed by tumbling numbers
can they awaken from their slumbers
the sun has set, the boat’s adrift
and no light beckons through the mist

Monday, March 6, 2023


by dog e relaford

adam found a zebra
hiding in a tree
he took it to the county fair
because it wanted to be free

eve was at the gallery
shooting ducks in a row
adam bought an ice cream cone
and let the zebra go

the zebra wandered down the rows
examining the booths
and you may see him wandering yet
searching for the truth

adam caught the rattler
eve caught the express
adam wore an old straw hat
eve wore a purple dress

Friday, March 3, 2023

a tale

by horace p sternwall

the queen looked out the window.

what she saw horrified her.

eventually she made her way back to the safety of the room.

a rooster crowed.

it was time for breakfast.

yolanda, her loyal maid, brought her a cup of tea and a piece of toast.

the undersecretary of war brought her a memorandum as she was slowly chewing the piece of toast.

i am afraid i bring bad news, the undersecretary , whose name was isidore and whom the queen did not care for, intoned.

leave the piece of paper on the table, please, and you may go, the queen informed him.

if it please your majesty, i would be happy to answer any questions, isodore began.

that will not be at all necessary, the queen assured him, and he departed.

the queen sipped her tea and finished her piece of toast.

doom hung over the kingdom like a great dark cloud.

there is a fine line between indifference and despair.

the kingdom had known great days.

however… you know the rest.

jumpy, the jester, appeared at his regular time, as the sun rose in the sky.

the king was wheeled in a little later.

he seemed in rare good humor, and produced a letter tom the depths of his royal robe.

but the queen had no interest in anything he had to say, and told him so in no uncertain terms.

the king had expected no less, and lapsed into bemused silence.

cosmic the clown entered and punched jumpy the jester in the head.

on the border of the kingdom, the invading army is winning a great victory, jumpy announced.

but we already knew that, the king assured him.

nothing more was said.

the clown spread marmalade on the toast he had helped himself to.

the queen excused herself, and left the room.

the undersecretary of war was standing at the head of the grand staircase that led down to the courtyard.

would your majesty care to accompany me to the southern border, the undersecretary of war enquired politely.

the queen hesitated, and saw, through the glass door at the bottom of the stairs, a slender tree waving in the breeze in the courtyard.

thank you, she replied, that is very kind of you.

i am here to serve you, the undersecretary replied.

yolanda, the queen’s maid, watched as the carriage containing the undersecretary and the queen rolled away down the graveled drive and headed south.

now only yolanda, the jester, the clown ,and the king were left to greet the advancing barbarians.

yolanda turned into a white bird and flew north.

jumpy the jester turned into a blue dog and headed east.

cosmic the clown, after finishing off the toast and marmalade, turned into a turtle and began crawling west.

only the king was left to welcome the leader of the barbarians, which he did with all the courtesy and good breeding which had been taught him since his early youth.

Thursday, March 2, 2023


by dog e relaford

i planted a flower
but it did not grow
i begged my love to stay
but she said she had to go

i went down to the city
to ask the man for a job
but he declined to give me one
because my name was bob

if my name was bill or joe
i would have been all set
i sat upon a bench and tried
my troubles to forget

a pigeon came along the street
with eyes like bright black beads
o rulers of the earth and sky
help a poor man in his need