despair

by tom tophead

i woke up this morning with a feeling of despair my head was on the floor and my feet were under the chair rain was beating on the wall and seeping through the window and i wondered with all my heart and soul what had brought me so low i sat up and wondered, where had i been i put my hand in my pockets but of course they had been picked clean outside in the street a truck blew its horn and i wished that i had never been born but i had been born - i surely had so there was no point in getting mad the pertinent question was where was i the rain continued to fall from the sky i sat there wondering why and wherefore when suddenly there was a knock on the door after a last glance around the little room i closed my eyes and awaited my doom later that evening at her majesty’s ball i stood in the corner and read the writing on the wall the rebel armies were advancing from the south the glass fell from my hand and the cigar from my mouth the generals were talking to a maiden fair of whose existence i had not been aware who is that ravishing creature, i asked the black prince but he passed me by, and i have not seen him since the room began spinning, and the walls to shake i wondered how much more i could take perhaps you are asking yourself the same thing but if we wait for a moment the birds will sing who are these wise men invading my dreams do they not realize nothing is what it seems i wrote them a letter a long time ago and for my good intentions have nothing to show

ham and eggs on the corner

by tom tophead

i was standing on the corner waiting for my bulldog to bark when along came my erstwhile acquaintance danny the dinosaur and his longstanding companion sal the shark how are the ham and eggs today, danny asked me pleasantly i had known danny a long time and knew he was always looking for something for free they have been better before, and they also have been worse i replied, giving an opinion easy to reverse we were interrupted by eddie the ectoplasm with his face all in a twist spouting a litany of grievances which we were powerless to resist frank the flounder sauntered by, with his alligator in tow he had had the alligator forever, but it never seemed to grow the alligator’s name was gus, and sometimes he looked sad but all in all, his life was not so bad hoover the mover, the local groover, now entered the scene in his brand spanking new limousine where, i wonder, did the curious expression “brand spanking” originate? perhaps it is futile to speculate jenny the jingler jiggled by, wearing a boot and a shoe and asked if any of us had seen king henry the kangaroo he is hiding in the kitchen with a ham and an egg, miss laura lee opined brightly and do not forget to come to my show, which plays at the palace nightly hiding in the kitchen with a ham and an egg, madam x exclaimed outraged i guess he slipped that one past me, when my attention was otherwise engaged nobody could have guessed what happened next which is the subject of this text out of the swirling depths of space, old man mose appeared he wore the same old stovepipe hat, but seemed to have trimmed his beard peter rabbit, who had the habit, of laughing at all he saw looked around in panic, and said, we had better summon the law i know this poem makes no sense, and apologize in advance i write it under the influence of a demon haunted trance if you see the ham and the egg pass by, tell them i said hello the hand of fate is calling and i really have to go

reptile

by tom tophead

the roaring rotation of the relentless rain penetrates my reptilian brain how many times must i explain that i do not wish to be king again? the corridors of power are filled with dead flowers and the palace stairs are carpeted with despair the spider waits the ambassador of fate i want to go back to my mushroom shack beyond the castle walls where wet leaves fall without a thud in the mud

history 2

by tom tophead

civilizations rise and fall some are big, and some are small some only serve a happy few all are old, and all are new a few will turn the whole word red with mighty conquerors at their head they burst the dams and burn the towns and all before them must bow down sargon sat upon a throne and he sat there all alone he was the mightiest of all and summoned nations to his hall princes came from far and wide queens rushed up to be his bride they threw their kingdoms at his feet as he looked down from his golden seat though modern folks might think it odd he proclaimed himself a god but in time his act grew stale and he did not live to tell his tale alexander was called the great but suffered an unhappy fate from a lamppost he was hung although he was so very young genghis khan had but one eye with which he looked up at the sky he swept the earth like a kitchen floor but now, alas, he is no more napoleon rode a horse of white and put the kings of earth to flight he marched through sand and rain and snow it does not seem so long ago churchill smoked a big cigar as he travelled wide and far the british empire ruled the waves but in the end could not be saved marx dreamed in a library dim and cool to make humanity his tool and end the story once and all it turned out it was not his call rockefeller discovered oil and slowly put the earth to boil henry ford invented cars and dreamed of driving them to mars heroes break out of the box and leave their names scratched on the rocks that crumble in the noonday sun perhaps the story has just begun

history

by tom tophead

the human race is crazy as crazy as loons or maybe crazy like foxes dancing to happy tunes roosevelt built the atomic bomb a long time ago or maybe it was hitler i don’t really know truman went to yalta to give stalin his love lucifer laughed in darkness the angels wept above the world was put in notice by dr edward teller marx and freud just laughed at him because they were clever fellers nixon was in the kitchen baking an apple pie the apples gave him a great big hand then khruschev happened by kennedy went to cuba it is in the history books castro was his daddy but the ladies liked his looks johnson wore a stetson hat and drank whiskey from a glass nixon rose up from the dead but all things must pass no one remembers agnew though he fired the first shot in the eternal culture wars which now is all we’ve got reagan had a great big smile which stretched across the earth the world is freed from bondage but still awaits rebirth who remembers osama bin laden gorbachev or al gore? humanity has its suitcase packed but still stands on the shore o children of the modern age look back upon the past for you will never know a world where things were built to last