ham and eggs on the corner

by tom tophead

i was standing on the corner waiting for my bulldog to bark when along came my erstwhile acquaintance danny the dinosaur and his longstanding companion sal the shark how are the ham and eggs today, danny asked me pleasantly i had known danny a long time and knew he was always looking for something for free they have been better before, and they also have been worse i replied, giving an opinion easy to reverse we were interrupted by eddie the ectoplasm with his face all in a twist spouting a litany of grievances which we were powerless to resist frank the flounder sauntered by, with his alligator in tow he had had the alligator forever, but it never seemed to grow the alligator’s name was gus, and sometimes he looked sad but all in all, his life was not so bad hoover the mover, the local groover, now entered the scene in his brand spanking new limousine where, i wonder, did the curious expression “brand spanking” originate? perhaps it is futile to speculate jenny the jingler jiggled by, wearing a boot and a shoe and asked if any of us had seen king henry the kangaroo he is hiding in the kitchen with a ham and an egg, miss laura lee opined brightly and do not forget to come to my show, which plays at the palace nightly hiding in the kitchen with a ham and an egg, madam x exclaimed outraged i guess he slipped that one past me, when my attention was otherwise engaged nobody could have guessed what happened next which is the subject of this text out of the swirling depths of space, old man mose appeared he wore the same old stovepipe hat, but seemed to have trimmed his beard peter rabbit, who had the habit, of laughing at all he saw looked around in panic, and said, we had better summon the law i know this poem makes no sense, and apologize in advance i write it under the influence of a demon haunted trance if you see the ham and the egg pass by, tell them i said hello the hand of fate is calling and i really have to go