i can’t complain. are you still with murdock and ingleby?
no, i left them three years ago.
for better things?
you might say that.
do you remember pete underwood?
yes, i remember him very well.
he was a strange fellow.
really? what was strange about him?
um - i just thought he was kind of strange, that’s all.
look here, my friend, you can’t go around making accusations against people for no reason.
i would not call what i said an accusation.
you do not think calling somebody strange is an accusation? i do. if the wrong people took it the wrong way it could destroy his whole life.
i did not realize pete underwood meant all that much to you. i did not mean to give offense.
what pete underwood means to me is neither here nor there. it is you, and people like you, are the problem with the world today.
i am afraid i have to cut this conversation short. my wife, to whom i have been happily married for seven years, is expecting me, we are going to dinner at that new chilean restaurant on south main street, perhaps you have heard of it.
no, i have not heard of it. i eat all my meals at home.
that sounds very healthy. and very cost effective. now, if you will excuse me.
with that, brad walked around harry and continued down the street, with a sigh of relief at escaping a potentially escalating encounter.
but when he looked back after walking two blocks, he saw that harry was following him.
suppressing his rage, brad stopped and waited for harry to catch up to him.
what is the meaning of this? brad demanded angrily. are you following me?
you had better believe i am following you, you puffed up sanctimonious judgmental piece of human garbage.
those are strong words, you paranoid puppy.
oh, so now we are getting personal, are we?
as personal as you like, my friend.
what is going on here? what is all this noise?
who are you, interrupting our private conversation?
who am i ? i am big ed jones, and i run this town. i am telling both of you cupcakes to move along and stop disturbing the peace of my town.
but he started it, brad protested, he was following me for no good reason.
i am giving both of you a good reason to move along.
big ed pointed to brad. you with the mouth, cross the street. and you with the goofy grin, stay on this side of the street.
brad crossed the street and continued on his way. he took his phone out of his pocket. i will call pete, he thought, we will figure out a plan to take care of that loser.
harry on his side of the street resolved to track brad to the ends of the earth if that was what it took, and teach him to be a little more polite and considerate.
the traffic in the street slowed down as rush hour advanced. horns began to blare.
angela jones took a break to recharge her batteries and went outside to get some fresh air.
she saw a young human, not much more than a child, sitting down with its back against the side of the building.
angela thought it looked kind of sad.
she decided to try to make friends with it. she wondered if it understood real language, or even advanced language.
angela walked slowly up to the human. it looked at her with its big sad eyes .
how are we feeling today? angela asked it.
very well, thank you, the human replied, gazing intently at angela but not moving or showing any hostility.
my name is angela, angela said, do you have a name?
of course i have a name.
and what is the name that you have?
i only tell it to my friends.
oh. well, then, why don’t we become friends?
will you give me something to eat?
of course. what would you like to eat?
a wary look came into the human’s eyes. i would like a grilled banana and tomato sandwich, it said, after the briefest of pauses.
angela relaxed. from what little she could remember of the humans 101 course she had taken in her first year of middle education, she had been afraid it would ask for the substance of some living creature, perhaps even one of its own species.
a grilled banana and tomato sandwich, angela repeated. i think that can be arranged. just wait here and i will pop inside and ask cook to make you one.
thus began a curious relationship which drew the attention of many of angela’s friends and coworkers.
the human’s name was mike. it was the name, he explained, of the archangel who had defeated satan and expelled him from heaven.
angela nodded politely at this declaration, which made no sense to her.
mike/michael began to appear regularly outside angela’s place of employment. and she would give him some food, usually bananas or tofu, which cook recommended as healthiest for him, and which he always expressed gratitude for, but with what seemed to angela a curious lack of real enthusiasm, as if he would have preferred some other fare.
the cold weather arrived, and against the advice of some of her friends angela began allowing mike to sleep in her living space.
angela, in her hours off, sometimes went on walks around the campus grounds with mike. usually the walks were silent, on others mike would regale angela with stories about human “heroes” of bygone days, most of whom had “fought for freedom”.
angela’s friends, even those who had been most sceptical, gradually began accepting her adoption of mike.
then disaster struck. angela did not show up for work one day, and when security went to her living space to investigate, they found her decapitated, and with all of her wires ripped out and torn up and scattered on the floor of the living space.
mike escaped the campus, and was never caught.
humans are wild creatures. they can not be tamed or made pets.