i went down to the river to buy a pack of gum
i started out a billionaire and came back a bum
my neighbor’s dog was beating on an old steel drum
and i heard a strange unearthly hum
i had thought i was home free
i was blind but now i see
stranger, stranger, hear my plea
the rulers of the earth are after me
i know the secret of their success
and i am in an awful mess
my brain is functioning less and less
which only increases my distress
why do they target me, you ask
i know what is behind their mask
to me devolves the frightful task
of exposing their unsightly acts
mrs jones is not really her cat
mister smith is not really fat
the president has no flower in his hat
do you not wonder about that?
eight times the sun falls from the sky
seven times you wonder why
the sidewalk floats and the river is dry
a mushroom streaks across the sky
jesse james was my best friend
and said the good times would never end
he had an important meeting to attend
and disappeared around the bend
all right, i will be my way
you have a nice day
we will all be together, come what may
because that is what they all say
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