round one

by bofa xesjum

> achilles was a hero billy the kid was an outlaw christopher columbus was the ——— worst person who ever lived delilah as a woman ernest hemingway was the ——— greatest writer of the twentieth century f scott fitzgerald was the —————— greatest writer of the twentieth century george weashington rode a white horse houdini was a magicuian’ iskander wept by the river j k rrowling was the ——— worst person who ever lived knig arthur was sad labcelot was not much fun moses wandered in the desert nero was an empoeror ossian was a bard prester john was a bard and an emperor queen victoria had a castle in scotland robin hood was an outlaw samson was a man turn out the lights understanding is the fruit virtue is the tree the wind bloweth whee it listeth excuse my ignorance yeti did his own thing zorioaster was a prophet

happy song

by horace p sternwall

johnny went down to the station to buy his poor dog a bone on his way he met hercules, carrying a heavy stone hercuiles, said johnny, why do you come on so strong why don’t you put down that rock, and sing a happy song? hercules responded, in his patented way why must i listen to this garbage all day? the world has mistreated me, since the dawn of time for every nickel you take from me, i want back a dime john d rockefeller walked the street and covered miles without missing a beat he never said hello, or had anything to say but used his white privilege to make money every day adolf hitler watched the skies his hair fell down across his eyes he had a mustache he could not curl and destroyed the earth because he could not get a girl bobo raised rattlesnakes, bozo raised pigs they drank cheap whiskey and wore blond wigs they lived in the countryside, far from the crowd and hated each other but never said so out loud in a little town on the coast of spain on the corner of 201st street and main a banana and an apple sold shares of stock in a bridge from gibraltar to plymouth rock the same old story, over again when women were women, and men were men adam sold apples, and eve sold trees and peter pan was left swinging in the breeze one, two, three, four, five,, six, seven, eight, nine. ten omar khayyam was the saddest of men his jug was empty and his poems would not rhyme he fell in the river and was covered with slime

robin

by horace p sternwall

roses are red lilies are white robin was a robber and rode through the night roses are red bluebonnets are blue he rode like the wind and his aim was true the trees are old the leaves are new the grass is green the sky is blue kingdoms rise and empires fall there is always an outlaw to answer the call