albert einstein woke up.
he wondered who he was and where he was.
then it all came back to him.
he was the worfd’s deadliest assassin, and he was on an assignment to deadly assassinate billy the kid, the newly elected emperor of the universe.
but billy the kid had other plans for albert einstein, and had contracted christopher columbus, the deadliest assassin in the galaxy, to get to albert einstein before albert einstein could get to himself, billy the kid.
albert einstein, billy the kid, and christopher columbus were all in love with the girl next door, the most beautiful woman in the universe.
albert einstein decided he needed a cup of coffee, and maybe a donut, before he commenced with the day’s business.
as the room albert einstein had awakened in was located in a city of 2 billion people, he thought it likely he could find a place to get a cup of coffee and a donut, or even an apple danish.
sure enough, such a place existed on the first floor of the building albert einstein had awakened in.
that must be why i checked in here, albert einstein thought to himself.
the place had seven small tables, each with one small chair, and was empty. albert einstein took a seat.
emperor hirohito came out of a door behind the counter and took his order.
when emperor horohito had gone, the door opened and franklin d roosevelt walked in.
franklin d roosevelt! the last person albert einstein wanted to see.
what do you want now? albert einstein enquired rudely of franklin d roosevelt_, when franklin d roosevelt took a chair from the adjoining table and sat down across from him
you need to renew your license, franklin d roosevelt replied. it expired yesterday at 0900 hours.
i am sorry, albert einstein replied. i forgot.
that is no excuse.
emperor hirohito returned with albert einstein’s’s coffee and apple danish.
you should have gotten the cheese danish, franklin d roosevelt said, it is what this place is famous for.
is that true? albert einstein asked emperor hirohito.. why didn’t you tell me?
you did not ask, emperor hirohito replied . and besides, it is all a matter of people’s personal opinions and i see no need to foist people’s personal opinions on others, not to mention that it would take all day if i relayed every opinion of every person who comes in here.
you have made your point, albert einstein replied wearily.
i will have a cup of chamomile tea, franklin d roosevelt informed emperor hirohito and one of your superb and justly famous cheese danishes.
/
emperor hirohito departed, and franklin d roosevelt briskly resumed the conversation with albert einstein.
it is not a matter of opinion that you need to get your license renewed.
can’t you just renew it for me now? albert einstein pleaded desperately. surely you have the authority to do so,
ha, ha. you know better than that. you must appear in person at the licensing department and it will take three days after that for processing to be complete
but i have a job to do this afternoon! if i can’t do it, my reputation will be ruined and i will be the laughingstock of
the universe!
laughingstock - that is a word you do not hear so much these days. ah, this looks good.
emperor hirohito had returned with franklin d roosevelt’s chamomile tea and cheese danish.
outside in the street, the city was beginning to wake up.
albert einstein felt the full weight of total despair.
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