Tuesday, August 23, 2011
The Baltimore Catechism, Part One
Sometimes it really sucked being a Catholic kid.
As one of the priests succinctly told us, "God didn't put you on this earth to have a good time."
So all you had to do was go to mass on a Sunday and then you got to chill out the rest of the day. Definitely one of the more reasonable rules. Except you had to go to mass or else if you died you would go to hell.
For some reason Jesus was in a furnace in the basement. I asked no questions.
Okay, so you're going to hell if you miss mass on a Sunday. Same punishment as for a mass murder. I began to have my doubts, but I kept silent, justifiably fearing the repeated thwacks of a nun's brass ruler on my tender outstretched palm.
What a drag it was when the priest came by for the yearly "visitation" and we had to act as if we were not insane. My father even had to put a shirt on over his undershirt.
There was no dilemma for me of course, no dilemma at all.