Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Baltimore Catechism, Part One


Sometimes it really sucked being a Catholic kid.


As one of the priests succinctly told us, "God didn't put you on this earth to have a good time."


So all you had to do was go to mass on a Sunday and then you got to chill out the rest of the day. Definitely one of the more reasonable rules. Except you had to go to mass or else if you died you would go to hell.


For some reason Jesus was in a furnace in the basement. I asked no questions.


Okay, so you're going to hell if you miss mass on a Sunday. Same punishment as for a mass murder. I began to have my doubts, but I kept silent, justifiably fearing the repeated thwacks of a nun's brass ruler on my tender outstretched palm.


What a drag it was when the priest came by for the yearly "visitation" and we had to act as if we were not insane. My father even had to put a shirt on over his undershirt.


There was no dilemma for me of course, no dilemma at all.

6 comments:

Old 333 said...

I really like the furnace idea...

Most enjoyable, Dan. Thanks for an infotaining read.

Jason Gusmann said...

awesome. of course, you're going straight to hell, but awesome nonetheless.

kathleenmaher said...

Did you write this? Draw it or find it? There's such authenticity to it. I'm one of those--as you well know--who believes fire or not: nobody fun is going to heaven.

Dan Leo said...

Kathleen, these panels are all from The New Saint Joseph Baltimore Catechism (1969).

kathleenmaher said...

Your answers, though.

Dr John Smythe said...

The New Saint Joseph Baltimore Catechism is written at 4 levels. For primary students at Level 1 to University/Teacher theological level at 4 with middle and secondary grades for 2 and 3. Each one expands upon the concepts in exactly the same order and place so as you (hopefully...) develop in thinking process levels and maturity, you continue learning the 'Why's' to give true meaning and comprehension to what is trying to be taught.

Of course, if you were negligent in not continuing ...

That is where the real hilarity, perchance, raises it's head; those who did and know and understand look at those who clearly did not and cannot help but laugh (in a sorrowful way at how sad it really turned out - kind of like an "I told you so" kind of way when people clearly informed the owners and operators of the Titanic that only one Person can make something "unsinkable" and they are not Him).