conclusion

by anonymous

nature is round civilization is square either way life is unfair

taken

by bofs xesjum

how many times did moses have his picture taken? how many times did confucius have his picture taken? alexander the great? constantnine the great? excuse me - what do you mean by “picture taken”? anything that could be considered a reasonably accurate likeness - either by photography or by a duly accredited portrait piainter like goya or whistler or andy warhol or by a skilled artist. perhaps i should have said likeness taken. how many times did joan of arc have her likeness taken? voltaire? marie antoinette? george washington? daguerrotypes and photography emerge: how many times did queen vvictoria have her picture taken? how nany times did abraham lincoln have his picture taken? karl marx? nietzsche? wodrow wilson? rudolf valentino? ernest heningway? einstein? hitler? stalin? marilyn monroe? john lennon? bob dylan? andy warhol himself? oprah winfrey? how many times have you had your picture taken? how many times have you taken your own picture?

blue

by dog e relaford

i had a dog named old blue who never really knew what to do and a cat named fluff who cut up rough i had an uncle named bud who was always falling in the mud and an aunt named named pearl who was quite a girl back in the day so they say i had a wombat named mchale who thought the human race was beyond the pale and a gila monster named mcgurk who never did an honest day’s work i knew a building inspector named ed brown who was the loneliest man in town and a taxidermist named bill smith i did not like to be seen in public with all these curious creatures had their distinguishing features there were a million others where they came from and they all gathered on the courthouse lawn that is enough for now anyhow

thoughtful

by horace p sternwall

nobody liked henry strong because he had been on the chain gang too long or cared much for jarvis weeks because he was a silly freak and few people stood in line to hear amanda briggs opine on patriarchy or capitalism or gender theory’s latest schism or eagerly listened to my uncle gus as he loudly asserted on the bus that everything was just fine back in the beginning of time how many people are paid attention? not enough to mention and yet in a curious twist they persist humans stand in wind and rain to say things over and over again and when they go inside they have nothing to hide

the mockers

by rhoda penmarq

mock on, mock on, rimbaud, verlaine sitting in a cafe watching the rain as the poor working man passes by with a load on his back and a tear in his eye a million of them for every one of you as carefree as when the world was new when clouds sang in the breeze and apples laughed in the trees then the shadow of cain fell across the plain the lions roared and the pterodactyls soared abel was the first poet sitting behind a tree as cain marched off to war to glorious victory the sounds of battle in the distance like the buzzing of bees the poet dreams a line or two and his head falls on his knees a butterfly floats by on wings of pink and blue history is born in a lightning cloud maybe not for me or you

keyhole

by horace p sternwall

omar had a keyhole he watched the world through it he shook his head and said i knew it everything they told me was a lie in the misty moonlight in the sweet bye and bye there is no golden throne with a wise king upon it just an old wooden crate with a dog sitting on it the dog’ s name is joe and the crate’s name is jack when their names are called they will never come back the room is empty and the sky is gray adam looks in the window but eve is away abel bounces a ball but cain has no bat the wind comes down the mountain and blows off pharoah’s hat it is all very sad and may work out some day omar folds up his tent and wanders away

yield

by rhoda penmarq

the terpischorean remnants of the embittered yielders stared at me from the edge of the tattered lawn i had my dictionary at the ready but they thoroughly humiliated me nevertheless snow-capped mountains to the left of me shiny black buildings to the right i turned and ran but, strangely, heard no laughter behind me i met eddie jones on the horizon he upbraided me savagely but i had had enough and diverted my energies to the creatures in the river an old school chum emerged from the mist wearing a rumpled blazer and a gold braided yachting cap have mercy, i cried dolorously i spend my whole life eating out of plastic containers

the perfect crime

by horace p sternwall

adam woke up and eve was gone he went outside and mowed the lawn a light was on across the road in the humble home of colonel toad adam thought this is the time to finally commit the perfect crime adam and the colonel went back a long way to armageddon and judgment day adam was a monkey and the colonel was a clown the circus was stuck in a one horse town salome had absconded with the weeks receipts and prophets wandered the muddy streets the lion and the trainer were drunk in their tent and moses wondered what it all meant what it all means the colonel declared is that murder will out and life is not fair adam nodded and sewed a button on his pants and thought, some day i will have my chance

ralph

by nick nelson

ralph waits for the bus the bus arrives a nice evening but a bit chilly he observes to the driver the driver agrees there are only two another passengers one of them is a woman in a gray coat ralph smiles at her but she does not smile back and colonel armstong ralph and the colonel ignore each other ralph proceeds to the back of the bus as the bus goes up the mountain and stops when it reaches the top the driver stands up and turns and addresses the three passengers we wil not be returning once we start down the other side this is final the woman in the gray coat and the colonel remain expressionless wind shakes the bus ralph begins to laugh in the peculiar way he has always had

oscar blue, part 2

by bofa xesjum

oscar sat down and thought and turned into a butterfly tired of it all about his mom walking down a long dark highway with no end in sight so tired on the other side of the moon a light appeared in the sky waking down a long dark highway “oscar, are you in there? i am so tired a light appeared in the sky floating like a dinosaur to coolly calculate the odds and turn into a butterfly the best in the whole world but it was all in vain walking down the dark highway but don’t show your face here again on the other side of the moon to coolly calculate the odds about his mom who always knew the score the river flows and plays well with others the river flows

oscar blue, part 1

by bofa xesjum

terrified but having a good heart oscar sat down and thought to avoid obstacles but was not much of a hunting dog named shep he just didn’t have it in him “they laughed when he walked through the door” in the shadow of the mountain he sat down and thought because he had a good heart walking down a long highway and told not to show his face covered with ice and snow he heard a voice behind him echoing down a long highway he sat down and thought as the voice did not stop to avoid obstacles and fainted at the foot of the mountain with a stout heart too terrified to speak about his old dog shep who was told not to show his face and heard a voice behind him trembling with abject terror

the package, part 2

by bofa xesjum

excuse me, sir this day is not forever no matter what they say it may seem obvious and it may be news to some but soon it will be over and there will be no more excuses but i cared but now it is over you never expected that but it is good news to some people but you can get lucky it was right there in front of you nobody cared and then it was over “what are we talking about, anyway?” nobody cared at the time obvious as it seems now they were too quick to go to sleep the package was on the step for all to see and then it was all over all over forever and a day it was great news for some and some even cared and some got lucky because some people have all the luck

the package, part 1

by bofa xesjum

ha ha very funny excuse me quite obvious, thank you they were too quick but you can get lucky that is great news i never expected that i cared they were too quick the package was left on the step nobody cared so you say the package was left on the step they were too quick and then it was over nobody cared it is already over forever and a day i never expected that i cared i never expected that excuse me the package was left on the step it is already over forever and a day so you say so you say

bumps in the road

by bofa xesjum

the cowboy thought it was all a joke but the castle in the sky grew larger and the assembled onlookers laughed to beat the band * this is a great opportunity for a person like you after everything that has happened recently and before the provisional government suspends habeas corpus * truly, you rank fifth from the bottom even after all your slow exhalations but society may yet forgive you * the minister clutched his portfolio in his watery grave in a manner of speaking, of course * i do not like the turn this conversation is taking what happened to the good old songs? *