the three strangers

by nick nelson

a bum named bum jones accosted a respectable looking gentleman named henry worthy at noon in central square. hey mister, can i ask you something? you can ask. are you doing any hiring? hiring? for what? do i look like a store? you look like you might be a businessman. i might be a lot of things. or, you could just want something done. such as? anything. anything. you will do anything. yes. you will do anything for money. that is what i said. you know, if i was the paranoid type, i might think you were a law enforcement person, working some ridiculous sting operation, because you can’t catch real bad guys. no, i am just desperate. times are tough, maybe not for you, but they are. all right, my friend, i have something for you. great, let’s hear it. i lost a piece of paper that had a phone number on it - just a phone number, the area code was 862 but i forget tthe rest of it. i think i lost it at 45th and main around noon yesterday. if you can find that piece of paper i will give you $50, how does that sound? great, how do i collect? if you find it, meet me right here tomorrow, at one o’clock. * the next day at the appointed time bum jones returned to central square, but there was no sign of henry worthy. bum waited for henry for an hour. there was no sign of him and it looked like it might start to rain. bum stepped up and addressed an ordinary looking individual who was passing by. have you seen this guy, bud asked the individual. what guy? what did he look like? he was respectable looking. i am sorry, you will have to give me a better description than that. he was really respectabe looking. i still can’t help you. what did you want with him? bud proceeded to relate the details of his interaction with henry worthy. but that is terrible! that is just awful! nobody should treat another living creature that way. but he did. i tell you what, i will give you a chance to earn, not $50, but $1000. let me hear it. do you have a phone? of course i have a phone. here is what i want you to do. tomorrow, at 11 o’clock in the morning, in front of the jackson building, a woman wearing a green hat, waking a little orange dog, will meet a man in a brown suit, wearing a mets cap. i want you to take a picture of them. i will give you a number you can forward the picture to. meet me here tomorrow at 3 o ‘clock in the afternoon, , and i will give you $1000. wow! bud exclaimed i will do it. thank you very much. * the next day bum showed up in front of the jackson building. it was a bright cold day with a wind blowing off the river, but there was no sign of the individual who had wanted the picture of the woman in the green hat and her little orange dog. people have been known to be late, bum mused hopefully. but fifteen minutes passed. suddenly a portly gentleman sporting a red and green checked vest and a black straw hat appeared at bum’s side. can i help you, my friend, the gentleman addressed bum, you give the distinct impression of being a bit distraught. briefly stimulated by the apparent sincerity of his interlocutor’s tone, bum poured forth his sad story. that is a shame, sir. that is the problem, or one of the problems, with the world today - no trust, nobody’s word is worth the air it is poured into. but fear not, i will give you a chance to retrieve your faith in human nature. oh? there is a starbucks on the next block, at the corner of jackson and twelfth streets. i want you to wait there, and see if a person carrying a copy of the international edition of the times appears, and orders a pumpkin spice latte and an orange croissant. if you see such a person call this number immediately, and i will reimburse you with one billion dollars. here is the number - oh no, mister, that won’t do. bum jones can be fooled once because he is a nice guy. he can be fooled twice beause he is an idiot. but he is not going to be fooled a third time, not bum jones, and not in this lifetime. and with that, bum turned and marched away into the wind. the man in the red and green checked vest, whose name was alexander the great robin hood christopher columbus william shakespeare jesse james albert einstein smith, watched him go with a sad smile. he reached into his vest pocket and extracted a one billion dollar bill, which he then tore into a hundred small pieces and tossed into the increasingly stiff wind.