always a woman involved

by fred flynn

illustrations by konrad kraus

“you wanted to see me, sir.” “ah, yes, come in, morrison.” morrison entered the commander’s lair. the commander was scowling at his map. he tapped it with a pointer . the map showed what morrison already knew - that they were trapped in sector c, surrounded by three battle squadrons of the rival empire, and with little hope of a breakout. communication wth headquarters had broken down months ago and they had no way of knowing if any effort was being made to reach them, or if they had been written off. they suspected the latter, as they had only been a scouting expedition to begin with. and headquarters surely knew what they were facing now. “quite useless, these maps, quite useless,” the commander observed. “indeed, sir.” morrison nodded. “there is nothing else for it,” the commander continued. “we shall have to make a dash for it. and hope there is still something to make a dash for.” “yes, sir.” “how long do you think it will take you to gather the men together and brief them?” “why, no time at all, sir. the only man left is hodgkiss, and he can not have gotten far, after telling me you wished to see me. he is not due to go on patrol until sixteen hundred hours, so i expect he just went back to his bunk.” “hmm.” the commander scowled briefly. “i did not realize things had gotten quite so far as that. so you are telling me that there are only you and i and hodgkiss left alive here?” “yes, sir. and the woman.” “the woman!" the commander exclaimed. "what woman? i did not know there was a woman on the premises.” “oh, yes, a native woman. we took her in shortly after we got here.” “well, i hope she was not some sort of spy!” morrison coughed. “not so far as i can tell.sir.” “and to what use has she been put?” “oh, this and that. washing the pots, entertaining the troops. though with the troops pretty much gone, she has had some time on her hands lately.” “yes, i can imagine. do you suggest we should take her with us when we depart?” “well, that is up to you, sir.” the commander considered. “i suppose as long as she has been a faithful servant , and if we can find some use for her. we should take her along. we were always taught at academy that we should show some loyalty to natives who had shown loyalty to us. as a general principle going forward in the path of empire, you know.” “quite, sir. she is quite sturdy, i am sure we can load her up pretty well with whatever we wish to carry.” “yes. well, i leave it up to you, morrison. i would like to move out before daybreak, if it can be arranged.” “yes, sir. i might add, that the woman might be useful in parleying with any tribesmen we encounter on our way.” “tribesmen! what tribesmen? you amaze me, morrison. i did not know there were any tribesmen about, i thought we were engaging exclusively with the forces of the blue empire!” “oh no, sir. the hills are quite alive with tribesmen. you can hardly set foot outside the camp without tripping over a tribesman.” “you do not say so. well, one learns something new all the time, even in the darkest hour.” “very good, sir. should i start making our preparations?.“ “yes, please do. while you are doing that, i shall make one last attempt to contact headquarters, though it is only for form’s sake, i am afraid.” morrison turned to go. “wait!” the commander stopped him. “yes, sir?” “this - woman. is she young? at all attractive?” “ah - that is difficult to say precisely, sir. i think opinion might tend to fall on the negative side.” “i see. well, carry on.” * the first glimmers of dawn were visible between the hills. the little party of four moved out, with the commander in the lead, slapping at the air and at his thigh with his riding crop, followed by corporal hodgkiss carrying a radio which morrison and the commander both thought quite useless but were afraid not to bring. behind hodgkiss came the woman, barely visible under supplies and equipment that might have been carried by four pack animals. morrison brought up the rear. he had a heavy pack on his back, and carried a small submachine gun. they had not gone half a mile when, true to morrison’s prediction, they were met by a group of five tribesmen - actually three men and two boys. two of the men were riding animals that looked like a cross between a bear and a camel. the other, older and heavier man, and the two boys walked beside them. the commander scowled as morrison came forward and began to parley with the two men. the conversation went on interminably - though politely enough - until the commander could take it no longer. “what is it they want?” he demanded of morrison. “well, sir, in one word, they want the woman.” “they do, do they?” despite morrison’s cautious description, the commander, in the brief glimpse he had of the woman as she was being loaded up, had thought her a rather fine specimen. a fine and sturdy specimen, though of course it had been hard to tell in the dim light and all. “they are prepared,” morrison went on, “to furnish us with some food, lead us to a water hole where we can fill up, and give us one of the boys as a guide - in return for the woman.” “that does not sound much of a bargain,” the commander countered. “i think we are well stocked as we are. and can the boy carry all she is carrying? eh?” “i think, sir,” morrison replied in a low voice, “it would be wise to take their offer.” “you do, do you? look here - i tell you what - unload the packages from the woman and let us get a look at her.” morrison looked puzzled but answered, “yes, sir.” the commander had come to a decision. if the curvature of the woman’s hips was at least equal to that of the dome of st weneceslaus’s cathedral, he would refuse the tribesmen’s offer. otherwise, they were welcome to her. by such things are the fates of empires decided.

nothingness

by horace p sternwall

a nothing apple falls from a tree on a nothing hill beside a nothing sea the nothing sailors on the nothing boat laugh at the reporter and won’t give him a quote about the nothing princess who never drowned in the nowhere river in her nowhere gown never and forever and all the same the score is nothing to nothing in the nowhere game the nowhere cats and the nowhere dogs howl like houdini in the nowhere fog locked in a trunk with a nowhere lock the clock strikes midnight on a nowhere clock the bubbles float on the nowhere surface of the nothing river with no end or purpose on the nowhere horizon of the nothing sky sweet sue sings softly in the sweet bye and bye

the princess in the tree

a tale

a beautiful princess was sitting in a tree. robin hood came along. he was carrying a big suitcase. it was so heavy he kept moving it from one hand to the other and stopping to rest. robin hood, asked the princess, what do you have in that suitcase and why is it so heavy? it is filled with gold bullion, said robin hood, and i am taking it to the holy land to ransom good king richard from the saracens at the rate you are going, replied the princess, king richard and the saracens will all be dead of old age before you get there. you have a point, robin hood agreed, i was hoping to encounter a genie or a magician who would assist me in some way. you do not say so, said the princess, in that case i may be able to help you out. do you mean that you know a magician or genie in these parts who can assist me? asked robin hood. perhaps yu are n possession of a magic lamp yourself? no, replied the princess, but there is a witch in these very woods who might help you out. a witch exclaimed robin hood, good king richard does not approve of witches, and would not right be right pleased to receive assistance from such creatures. o but this is a good witch said the princess, and she has received the blessings of st christopher, patron saint of wayfarers, st john the eremite, and st elegius the patron saint of goldsmiths, among many other worthy denizens of heaven. the patron saint of goldsmiths, cried robin hood, that it is indeed fortuitous, in that case perhaps an exception could be made to king richard’s wishes. would you like me to take you to the witch, asked the princess. after a moment’s hesitation, robin hood replied that he would. the princess hopped down from the tree and led robin into the depths of the forest. darkness fell as they walked along a dusty road. a few stars could be seen above the branches of the dark trees. are we almost there, asked robin hood? almost, replied the princess. suddenly they came to a clearing in which stood a large, busting railway station. the railway station was brightly lit up but was surrounded by dark narrow streets. the princess led robin hood down one of the darkest streets. robin hood could see that the streets were little more than alleys and were filled with gin shops and low haunts where congregated some of the scum of the earth. a couple of ruffians known as billy the barber and java drinking jake watched with knowing smiles from a doorway as robin hood and the princess passed within a few feet of them. bob’s your uncle, whispered billy , and winkled at jake with his glass eye. here we are, said the princess to robin hood. she had stopped in front of a crooked little building, little more than a hut, on a corner in front of a large hole in the ground. there was no light in the hut but the princess entered it and robin hood followed with his heavy suitcase. although there was no lamp or candle visible, the interior of the hut was faintly illuminated by a strange unearthly glow. wait here, said the princess. she disappeared behind a curtain. there were no chairs in the hut, but robin hood, glad to take a load off his feet, sat down on the suitcase and waited. after what seemed an eternity, the curtain parted and the witch appeared. robin hood had expected an old crone, but the witch was as young and beautiful as the princess. she might have been the princess’s sister, but with longer and darker hair, the color of a raven’s dying croak. and eyes as dark and old as the depths of the sea. robin hood explained his plight to the enchantress, and asked if he might be transported immediately to the holy land. i can not do that on such short notice, the witch replied, but what i can do is lighten your load. she pointed to the suitcase. go ahead, she told robin, pick it up. robin did as he was told - the suitcase was as light as a bird’s wing! robin started to thank the witch but she had disappeared. he decided to say prayers of thanks to st elegius and the blessed virgin instead, and turned and went back out into the street. billy the barber and java drinking jake were waiting for him. what’s in the suitcase, country boy? drawled billy. a picture of my old mother, robin replied, an arrow from the side of st stephen, and a feather from the wing of the archangel gabriel. country boy’s got a sense of humor, drawled jake. let’s take a look, said billy, and snatched the suitcase from robin’s hand. the bars of gold spilled out, blinding billy and jake. billy was turned into a toad and jake into a mouse and they scurried away whimpering onto the dark shadows. suddenly the princess reappeared and helped robin scoop the feather light bars of glowing gold back into the suitcase. let us make haste, she told billy, you have to catch the express to constantinople. the express to constantinople, exclaimed robin, i have never been on a train before. the conductor of the train is st basil of cappopdocia, said the princess, and st augustine is the engineer. they will see you safe to constantinople, where you will find the prophet ezekiel waiting for you. he will escort you to the tent of the king of the saracens, where you will deliver the ransom for good king richard. but hurry, we do not have a moment to lose. they reached the train station without incident, with robin clutching the weightless suitcase. the princess delivered robin to st basil, just as the train was pulling out. the express thundered through the night, through cities bright as jewels, forests as quiet as graveyards, and fields dark as the center of the earth. nobody, not even st basil or st augustine, spoke to robin after he was in his seat, and he fell asleep, with the suitcase full of gold in his arms on his lap. dawn was breaking when they reached the imperial city. but the prophet ezekiel was not waiting for robin, nor was anybody else. with a strange feeling of foreboding, robin decided to check the interior of the suitcase, and ducked into an alley beside the station to do do. the suitcase was empty except for a small toad, which robin recognized as the fallen angel moloch, and which quickly hopped away into the throngs which were starting to crowd the streets with their hawkers and beggars cries. it would be many years before king richard was ransomed from the saracens. but as king richard was the most forgiving of men, as well as the bravest and most warlike, he never upbraided robin hood for his unfortunate adventure, or for losing half the gold of his kingdom, and they both lived to hoist many a golden foaming tankard back in merry old england, in the green depths of sherwood forest. thus ends the story of the princess in the tree.

less than 3 months away

christmas is less than three months away! total dissatisfaction press has a wide selection of over 60 books available total dissatisfaction press specializes in old-fashioned poetry books, coffee table books including coffee table poetry books, cut-up poetry and fiction, and books that make great gifts for surly children, sullen adolescents, confused elders, and persons who might like a gift that makes them say “what the ________ is this?” all books illustrated unless otherwise noted “and what is the use of a book,” thought alice, “without pictures or conversations?” books available from total dissatisfaction press as of september 29, 2017: total dissatisfaction books can be purchased at www.lulu.com. for descriptions and thumbnails search by title or author or enter keyword “total dissatisfaction press” for complete list prices listed are as of september 29, 2017 and do not include shipping. lulu offers many discounts with coupons or for bulk purchases fiction: *darkness, my home town, and other stories, by fred flynn - $3.46 anniversary, and other stories, by nick nelson - $3.61 death in the rain, by nick nelson - $5.25 long con on a dark road, and other stories, by nick nelson - $4.13 ms found in a white notebook, and other stories and poems, by nick nelson - $4.17 31 stories, by nick nelson - $4.85 fun: a tale for a rainy night, by harold p sternhagen - illustrated - $5.25 *fun: a tale for a rainy night, by harold p sternhagen - not illustrated - $3.32 games: a tale for a stormy night, by harold p sternhagen - $5.29 the little cheeseburger girl, and other stories, by horace p sternwall - illustrated - $5.01 *the little cheeseburger girl, and other stories, by horace p sternwall - not illustrated - $3.04 *not illustrated poetry: hey! and other found poems, by anonymous - $2.41 song of the open road, and other poems, by jack dale coody - $2.09 across the wounded greyhound stations, by corinne delmonico - $2.29 every child should sing, and other poems, by corinne delmonico - $2.17 *leaves, by mary c fogg - $2.05 billy blood, and other poems, by timothy t jones - $2.49 *this guy came at me with a knife, and other poems, by timothy t jones - $2.81 *the unexplainable man, by timothy t jones - $2.53 i should get out more, by wiggly jones, “the little hippie boy” - $2.17 poems for everyone, by wiggly jones, “the little hippie boy” - $2.13 **beat, and other poems, by chuck leary - $3.05 i was the one, and other poems, by horace p sternwall - $3.01 *lover, and other poems. by horace p sternwall - $2.17 untitled, and other poems, by horace p sternwall - $3.01 amanda, and other poems, from a sternwall family album - $2.49 life is horrible, and other poems, by bofa xesjum - $2.85 * not illustrated ** contains some nsfw material cut-ups: drifting highway, and other poems, by rhoda penmarq - $3.13 joey isn’t the problem, and other poems, by rhoda penmarq - $3.29 let’s see if we can’t do better this time, by rhoda penmarq - $3.61 maisie and the clowns with pointed shoes, and other stories, by rhoda penmarq - $4.05 the other side of the cadillac, and other poems, by rhoda penmarq - $3.21 that’a an improvement, but a little more energy please, by rhoda penmarq - $3.29 illustrated fiction: it isn’t only crocodiles that cry, part 1, by chuck leary - $16.00 it isn’t only crocodiles that cry, part 2, by chuck leary - $12.75 it isn’t only crocodiles that cry, part 3, by chuck leary - $10.50 a face in green chalk on the sidewalk, by rhoda penmarq - $10.75 letter from an unknown, by rhoda penmarq - $12.25 letter from an unknown 2: sally’s dream, by rhoda penmarq - $12.25 letter from an unknown 3: the lost city, by rhoda penmarq - $16.00 letter from an unknown 4: the wages of guilt ,by rhoda penmarq - $12.25 letter from an unknown 5: the captives, by rhoda penmarq - $14.75 the waitress and the satanist, by rhoda penmarq - $13.00 l’amour, by gabrielle-jeanette perfidy - illustrated in color - $14.75 l’amour, by gabrielle-jeanette perfidy - illustrated in black and white - $3.37 the disappearance (complete in 1 volume), by jeremy witherigton - $34.50 the disappearance, part 1, by jeremy witherington - $19.50 the disappearance, part 2, by jeremy witherington - $18.00 graphic fiction: into the interior, by roy dismas - $11.75 the road to yucatan: heisenberg’s castle, by rhoda penmarq - $11.75 high speed, and desolation express, by bofa xesjum - $14.00 wild to be free, and other illustrated stories, by bofa xesjum - $16.50 betty goes to the museum - $11.25 coffee table books: from eddie el greco: these are your neighbors: 1 - one human hive - $19.78 these are your neighbors: 2 - snotty kids and ignorant adults - $20.15 humans among themselves : 1 - the secret laughter - $19.78 from danny delacroix: on this day in history: 1 - winter - $19.41 on this day in history: 2 - spring - $19.78 on this day in history: 3 - summer - $20.15 on this day in history: 4 - fall - $19.41 from roy dismas: randomly selected humans (black-and-white) - $3.57 randomly selected humans - deluxe edition (color) - $16.00 randomly selected humans 2 (black-and-white) - $3.57 randomly selected humans 2 - deluxe edition (color) - $16.00 coffee table poetry books: i put my hat upon my head, and other poems, by samuel johnson and others - $17.93 jennifer was full of sass, and other poems and limericks, by walter “whappy” wilson - $14.23 a winsome lass named laura, and other poems and limericks, by walter “whappy” wilson - $14.23

books with pictures and conversations

books available from total dissatisfaction press as of august 23, 2017: new releases highlighted in red total dissatisfaction books can be purchased at www.lulu.com. search by title or author or enter keyword “total dissatisfaction press” for complete list prices listed are as of august 23, 2017 and do not include shipping. lulu offers many discounts with coupons or for bulk purchases all books illustrated unless otherwise noted “and what is the use of a book,” thought alice, “without pictures or conversations?” fiction: *darkness, my home town, and other stories, by fred flynn - $3.46 anniversary, and other stories, by nick nelson - $3.61 death in the rain, by nick nelson - $5.25 long con on a dark road, and other stories, by nick nelson - $4.13 ms found in a white notebook, and other stories and poems, by nick nelson - $4.17 31 stories, by nick nelson - $4.85 fun: a tale for a rainy night, by harold p sternhagen - illustrated - $5.25 *fun: a tale for a rainy night, by harold p sternhagen - not illustrated - $3.32 games: a tale for a stormy night, by harold p sternhagen - $5.29 the little cheeseburger girl, and other stories, by horace p sternwall - illustrated - $5.01 *the little cheeseburger girl, and other stories, by horace p sternwall - not illustrated - $3.04 *not illustrated poetry: hey! and other found poems, by anonymous - $2.41 song of the open road, and other poems, by jack dale coody - $2.09 across the wounded greyhound stations, by corinne delmonico - $2.29 every child should sing, and other poems, by corinne delmonico - $2.17 *leaves, by mary c fogg - $2.05 billy blood, and other poems, by timothy t jones - $2.49 *this guy came at me with a knife, and other poems, by timothy t jones - $2.81 *the unexplainable man, by timothy t jones - $2.53 i should get out more, by wiggly jones, “the little hippie boy” - $2.17 poems for everyone, by wiggly jones, “the little hippie boy” - $2.13 beat, and other poems, by chuck leary - $3.05 i was the one, and other poems, by horace p sternwall - $3.01 *lover, and other poems. by horace p sternwall - $2.17 untitled, and other poems, by horace p sternwall - $3.01 amanda, and other poems, from a sternwall family album - $2.49 life is horrible, and other poems, by bofa xesjum - $2.85 * not illustrated cut-ups: drifting highway, and other poems, by rhoda penmarq - $3.13 joey isn’t the problem, and other poems, by rhoda penmarq - $3.29 let’s see if we can’t do better this time, by rhoda penmarq - $3.61 maisie and the clowns with pointed shoes, and other stories, by rhoda penmarq - $4.05 the other side of the cadillac, and other poems, by rhoda penmarq - $3.21 that’a an improvement, but a little more energy please, by rhoda penmarq - $3.29 illustrated novels: a face in green chalk on the sidewalk, by rhoda penmarq - $10.75 letter from an unknown, by rhoda penmarq - $12.25 letter from an unknown 2: sally’s dream, by rhoda penmarq - $12.25 letter from an unknown 3: the lost city, by rhoda penmarq - $16.00 the waitress and the satanist, by rhoda penmarq - $13.00 l’amour, by gabrielle-jeanette perfidy - illustrated in color - $14.75 l’amour, by gabrielle-jeanette perfidy - illustrated in black and white - $3.37 the disappearance (complete in 1 volume), by jeremy witherigton - $34.50 the disappearance, part 1, by jeremy witherington - $19.50 the disappearance, part 2, by jeremy witherington - $18.00 graphic novels: into the interior, by roy dismas - $11.75 the road to yucatan: heisenberg’s castle, by rhoda penmarq - $11.75 high speed, and desolation express, by bofa xesjum - $14.00 betty goes to the museum - $11.25 coffee table books: from eddie el greco: these are your neighbors: 1 - one human hive - $19.78 these are your neighbors: 2 - snotty kids and ignorant adults - $20.15 humans among themselves : 1 - the secret laughter - $19.78 from danny delacroix: on this day in history: 1 - winter - $19.41 on this day in history: 2 - spring - $19.78 on this day in history: 3 - summer - $20.15 on this day in history: 4 - fall - $19.41 from roy dismas: randomly selected humans (black-and-white) - $3.57 randomly selected humans - deluxe edition (color) - $16.00 randomly selected humans 2 (black-and-white) - $3.57 randomly selected humans 2 - deluxe edition (color) - $16.00 coffee table poetry books: i put my hat upon my head, and other poems, by samuel johnson and others - $17.93 jennifer was full of sass, and other poems and limericks, by walter “whappy” wilson - $14.23 a winsome lass named laura, and other poems and limericks, by walter “whappy” wilson - $14.23

look at these prices!

books available from total dissatisfaction press as of july 16, 2017: total dissatisfaction books can be purchased at www.lulu.com. search by title or author or enter keyword total dissatisfaction press for complete list prices listed are as of july 16, 2017 and do not include shipping. lulu offers many discounts with coupons or for bulk purchases all books illustrated unless otherwise noted “and what is the use of a book,” thought alice, “without pictures or conversations?” fiction: *darkness, my home town, and other stories, by fred flynn - $3.46 anniversary, and other stories, by nick nelson - $3.61 death in the rain, by nick nelson - $5.25 long con on a dark road, and other stories, by nick nelson - $4.13 ms found in a white notebook, and other stories and poems, by nick nelson - $4.17 31 stories, by nick nelson - $4.85 fun: a tale for a rainy night, by harold p sternhagen - illustrated - $5.25 *fun: a tale for a rainy night, by harold p sternhagen - not illustrated - $3.32 games: a tale for a stormy night, by harold p sternhagen - $5.29 the little cheeseburger girl, and other stories, by horace p sternwall - illustrated - $5.01 *the little cheeseburger girl, and other stories, by horace p sternwall - not illustrated - $3.04 *not illustrated poetry: hey! and other found poems, by anonymous - $2.41 every child should sing, and other poems, by corrine delmonico - $2.17 *leaves, by mary c fogg - $2.05 billy blood, and other poems, by timothy t jones - $2.49 *this guy came at me with a knife, and other poems, by timothy t jones - $2.81 *the unexplainable man, by timothy t jones - $2.53 poems for everyone, by wiggly jones, “the little hippie boy” - $2.13 beat, and other poems, by chuck leary - $3.05 i was the one, and other poems, by horace p sternwall - $3.01 *lover, and other poems. by horace p sternwall - $2.17 untitled, and other poems, by horace p sternwall - $3.01 amanda, and other poems, from a sternwall family album - $2.49 * not illustrated cut-ups: drifting highway, and other poems, by rhoda penmarq - $3.13 joey isn’t the problem, and other poems, by rhoda penmarq - $3.29 let’s see if we can’t do better this time, by rhoda penmarq - $3.61 maisie and the clowns with pointed shoes, and other stories, by rhoda penmarq - $4.05 the other side of the cadillac, and other poems, by rhoda penmarq - $3.21 that’a an improvement, but a little more energy please, by rhoda penmarq - $3.29 illustrated novel: l’amour, by gabrielle-jeanette perfidy - illustrated in color - $14.75 l’amour, by gabrielle-jeanette perfidy - illustrated in black and white - $3.37 graphic novels: into the interior, by roy dismas - $11.75 high speed, and desolation express, by bofa xesjum - $14.00 betty goes to the museum - $11.25 coffee table books: from eddie el greco: these are your neighbors: 1 - one human hive - $19.78 these are your neighbors: 2 - snotty kids and ignorant adults - $20.15 humans among themselves : 1 - the secret laughter - $19.78 from danny delacroix: on this day in history: 1 - winter - $19.41 on this day in history: 2 - spring - $19.78 on this day in history: 3 - summer - $20.15 on this day in history: 4 - fall - $19.41 from roy dismas: randomly selected humans (black-and-white) - $3.57 randomly selected humans - deluxe edition (color) - $16.00 randomly selected humans 2 (black-and-white) - $3.57 randomly selected humans 2 - deluxe edition (color) - $16.00 coffee table poetry books: i put my hat upon my head, and other poems, by samuel johnson and others - $17.93 jennifer was full of sass, and other poems and limericks, by walter “whappy” wilson - $14.23 a winsome lass named laura, and other poems and limericks, by walter “whappy” wilson - $14.23

books available from total dissatisfaction press

books available from total dissatisfaction press as of june 1, 2017 all books illustrated unless otherwise noted fiction: *darkness, my home town, and other stories, by fred flynn anniversary, and other stories, by nick nelson long con on a dark road, and other stories, by nick nelson **fun: a tale for a rainy night, by harold p sternhagen games: a tale for a stormy night, by harold p sternhagen **the little cheeseburger girl, and other stories, by horace p sternwall *not illustrated ** available in illustrated and non-illustrated versions poetry: every child should sing, and other poems, by corrine delmonico *leaves, by mary c fogg billy blood, and other poems, by timothy t jones * this guy came at me with a knife, and other poems, by timothy t jones * the unexplainable man, by timothy t jones poems for everyone, by wiggly jones, “the little hippie boy” beat, and other poems, by chuck leary i was the one, and other poems, by horace p sternwall *lover, and other poems. by horace p sternwall untitled, and other poems, by horace p sternwall amanda, and other poems, from a sternwall family album * not illustrated cut-ups: drifting highway, and other poems, by rhoda penmarq joey isn’t the problem, and other poems, by rhoda penmarq let’s see if we can’t do better this time, by rhoda penmarq maisie and the clowns with pointed shoes, and other stories, by rhoda penmarq the other side of the cadillac, and other poems, by rhoda penmarq illustrated novel: l’amour, by gabrielle-jeanette perfidy (available in black & white, and color editions) graphic novels: into the interior, by roy dismas high speed, and desolation express, by bofa xesjum coffee table books: from eddie el greco: these are your neighbors: 1 - one human hive these are your neighbors: 2 - snotty kids and ignorant adults humans among themselves : 1 - the secret laughter from danny delacroix: on this day in history: 1 - winter on this day in history: 2 - spring on this day in history: 3 - summer on this day in history: 4 - fall from roy dismas: randomly selected humans (available in regular (black-and-white) and deluxe (color) editions randomly selected humans 2 (available in regular (black-and-white) and deluxe (color) editions coffee table poetry books: i put my hat upon my head, and other poems, by samuel johnson and others jennifer was full of sass, and other poems and limericks, by walter “whappy” wilson a winsome lass named laura, and other poems and limericks, by walter “whappy” wilson total dissatisfaction books can be purchased at www.lulu.com. search by title or author or enter keyword “total dissatisfaction press” for complete list see lulu for prices, which may vary. prices as of june 1, 2017 ranged from $2.05 to $20.15, plus shipping. books listed as fiction, poetry, and cutups were all under $6.00 lulu offers many discounts with coupons or for bulk purchases