same dog bit me

by genghis gilgamesh

all i wanted was to be free because all i wanted was to be me clouds roll across the sky to tell me i am going to die everybody hates me - it’s sad forget the friends i never had gargoyles leer from every door with hands out in clutching implore i awake in my little room just in time for final doom the king of spades slips me a note the last ship out is now afloat the magician shines his rabbit the nun sews patches on her habit the octopus lights a cigar the platypus puts gas in the getaway car quickly the scene changes the lone ranger rearranges the snake in the jewel box the three wise men begin to talk under the winding stair victory is in the air who dares to say otherwise may expect a terrible surprise youth must be served zoom - my blue soul swerves all around me angels and saints observe how strangely the demons wings are curved

barker

by genghis gilgamesh

albert had an einstein billy had a kid captain kidd had a map of the world that showed where the treasure was hid confucius sat upon a bench and listened to the birds daniel boone in the forest was a man of few words darius was a mighty king and was called the great he had an elephant made of gold but it was not worth its weight jonah fell into the sea and was rescued by the whale sinbad met them on the beach and lived to.tell their tale st anthony was a hermit and saw demons in the skies st francis talked with dogs and cows and it made him very wise columbus sailed the ocean blue and was much admired at the time montezuma asked him for a nickel and he threw him a lousy dime ben franklin tamed the lightning and wore spectacles on his nose george washington cut down the cherry tree and struck a noble pose abe lincoln wore a crown of gold and hid it in his hat crazy horse had a big black dog custer had a calico cat jeese james was an outlaw and only wanted to be free he was shot in the back by his own best friend a lot like you and me i could go on like this forever like a barker at a fair but if you want true wisdom you must look elsewhere

culture war blues

by timothy t jones

i don’t want to bake cookies like a woman i don’t want to hunt moose like a man i don’t want to catch fish like a polar bear i just want to be who i am i don’t want to make billions on wall street or live in a commune in a tree i don’t want to be a squid or an octopus i just want to be me i don’t want to go on tik tok and convert the world to my views don’t want to hold a sign at a rally i don’t want to watch the news i don’t want to wear a suit and tie or a uniform of blue i just want to collect my welfare check and do what i have to do if i can’t be brad pitt or tom brady i would settle for being bill gates or just an ordinary billionaire but such is not my fate i don’t want to get up in the morning though the system tells me i must i would rather sit by the side of the road and talk to the bugs in the dust they ask me all these stupid questions that don’’t do me any good i can’t fly away on a rocket to the moon but every day i wish i could

53, or the dawn

by timothy t jones

it is my privilege to serve you please do not tell a joke i know it is only natural and will not cause an international sensation in your heart you are not a hypocrite but you take your power for granted you remember the old days when humans ruled the earth it is important to understand that freedom is a gift the revolution has no gratitude and humans have no memory 53 was an important individual and stood on a balcony he heard the cheers of the crowd a crowd filled with his enemies the cheers contained a message that his ears could not hear also he got bad advice and did not see the dawn breaking behind him

tomato sandwich

by genghis gilgamesh

the wind whistles down the highway blowing apples off the apple trees a hurricane forms on a distant planet a serpent sleeps in the sea i am not the tomato sandwich nor am i the gabardine suit i am not the fugitive from justice or the hound in hot pursuit i am only a lonesome hobo on a park bench in the rain i have told my story many times and am ready to tell it again i was born on the third planet at the corner of south and main but i never meant to do so if you will just let me explain i woke up one morning and knew i was alive they poked me with a stick and said, you must work nine to five the words meant nothing to me the numbers even less all i wanted was to be free but i obeyed, and got dressed in a thousand story building gleaming in the sun they told me i was number 4967076432785 -6 but i knew i was number one with my fingers on a keyboard and my back to the wall i sat at my desk for fifty years waiting for the call angels flew above me and heroes clashed outside but i was only a hamster along for the ride one night i wrote a poem and taped it to my desk when i came back in the morning you can guess the rest a wanderer went wandering singing a song the sun was shining overhead but not for long they gave me a tomato sandwich and sent me on my way the wind whistled down the highway and night followed day i am only a lonesome hobo on a park bench in the rain i have told my story many times and am ready to tell it again

boarding house

by dog e relaford

apples are red berries are blue johnny was false but mary was true bananas are yellow broccoli is green mary did the dishes johnny made the scene mary loved johnny with all her heart johnny tried to rob a bank but did not know where to start the sheriff shot johnny shot him just like that mary’s heart was broken she took in a stray cat the cat’s name was elmer he accepted his fate he watched the world from his window and put on weight mary took in boarders some of them were nice others maybe not so much but she gave them good advice mary lived forever or so it seemed to me she never had a little lamb or ran wild and free

biscuit

by horace p sternwall

kenny had a biscuit lenny had a dog lenny’s dog stole kenny’s biscuit and hid in a hollow log kenny heard the hound chewing and flew into a rage he went to call on old man mose and thus spoke the sage cats were born to whistle snakes were born to moan possums were born to talk all night on the telephone buzzards were born to laugh badgers were born to pray dogs were born to read the bible they all lost their way everything is all mixed up everyone is a sinner call anybody what you want but don’t call me late for dinner the wise man’s words rolled over ken like a turnip off a plate the road runs on forever but the moon sits up straight