staircase

by bofa xesjum

i dreamed i murdered the swedish ambassador - the dirty rat! because he wanted to look at my pictures of duchesses in flowered hats especially the picture of big flossie which had belonged to my father and grandfather and great grandfather before me get back, mr ambassador! the deed done i ran down the winding staircase past the dim lamps and darkened portraits of forgotten princes and statesmen - the police were sympathetic taking my exalted station into due consideration but an international incident brewed on the horizon - what a curious phrase under the circumstances - “brewing” - but i had no time to consider its etymology - etymology o etymology! and cavalry horses

on the other side

by bofa xesjum

on the other side of the hill they take the money right out of your shoes they waited for it under a cloudy sky excuse me, but nobody knows you clowns are sad, because you never know boys will be boys, because george washington could not tell a lie ducks float in the water, because many are called elephants remember, but how did it come to this? right you are, it is all a big joke it is too bad that you are quite the comedian nobody knows you, so quit while you are ahead i told you so - america is the greatest country in the world just you wait - your number will be called there are no excuses for how this turned out we have zero tolerance for the very well flowers bloom in the spring forever and ever right you are and right you are forever love conquers all when the flowers blow away clowns are sad because they are always right elephants remember what george washington really did america was the greatest country in the world when it was sold down the river just you wait, you will all get the joke boys will be boys, for as long as it takes just you wait, it will all disappear in a flash ducks float in the water, because you never know i told you so, because love conquers all wait for it, and watch the skies over the hills they were sold down the river under a bad sign and that is when it all started to come apart

2 poems

by walter w johnson iii

phone sometimes i feel so all alone i want to get on the telephone and call everybody i ever knew and tell them i am feeling blue but i do not know their number or whether they are in endless slumber or if they would answer my call or remember me at all this is how it ends with my phone my only friend it answers every question i ask and never tells me to take off my mask happy i try to write happy poems not just moans and groans but somehow they write themselves in increasingly mournful tones why is the universe so sad is it because it is fading away? maybe i will try to write my happy poem some other day

in a mist

by dog e relaford

i love to lie in bed on rainy days and dream of long ago heroic ways when knights and yeomen battled for the prize of a limpid glance from a maiden’s flashing eyes when golden banners above castles flew and fleecy clouds emblazoned skies of blue when clashing lances garnered loud applause and love and honor were nature’s only laws the four winds filled the sails of explorers who brought tales of glory beyond price for those who dared to throw the dice sadly things have changed and the world been rearranged by bankers, bureaucrats, and clerks beneath gray skies behold their works now shipless sinbads roam alone through caverns of steel on streets of stone helpless vassals far from home clutching cups of styrofoam with brains benumbed by tumbling numbers can they awaken from their slumbers the sun has set, the boat’s adrift and no light beckons through the mist

zebra

by dog e relaford

adam found a zebra hiding in a tree he took it to the county fair because it wanted to be free eve was at the gallery shooting ducks in a row adam bought an ice cream cone and let the zebra go the zebra wandered down the rows examining the booths and you may see him wandering yet searching for the truth adam caught the rattler eve caught the express adam wore an old straw hat eve wore a purple dress

a tale

by horace p sternwall

the queen looked out the window. what she saw horrified her. eventually she made her way back to the safety of the room. a rooster crowed. it was time for breakfast. yolanda, her loyal maid, brought her a cup of tea and a piece of toast. the undersecretary of war brought her a memorandum as she was slowly chewing the piece of toast. i am afraid i bring bad news, the undersecretary , whose name was isidore and whom the queen did not care for, intoned. leave the piece of paper on the table, please, and you may go, the queen informed him. if it please your majesty, i would be happy to answer any questions, isodore began. that will not be at all necessary, the queen assured him, and he departed. the queen sipped her tea and finished her piece of toast. doom hung over the kingdom like a great dark cloud. there is a fine line between indifference and despair. the kingdom had known great days. however… you know the rest. jumpy, the jester, appeared at his regular time, as the sun rose in the sky. the king was wheeled in a little later. he seemed in rare good humor, and produced a letter tom the depths of his royal robe. but the queen had no interest in anything he had to say, and told him so in no uncertain terms. the king had expected no less, and lapsed into bemused silence. cosmic the clown entered and punched jumpy the jester in the head. on the border of the kingdom, the invading army is winning a great victory, jumpy announced. but we already knew that, the king assured him. nothing more was said. the clown spread marmalade on the toast he had helped himself to. the queen excused herself, and left the room. the undersecretary of war was standing at the head of the grand staircase that led down to the courtyard. would your majesty care to accompany me to the southern border, the undersecretary of war enquired politely. the queen hesitated, and saw, through the glass door at the bottom of the stairs, a slender tree waving in the breeze in the courtyard. thank you, she replied, that is very kind of you. i am here to serve you, the undersecretary replied. yolanda, the queen’s maid, watched as the carriage containing the undersecretary and the queen rolled away down the graveled drive and headed south. now only yolanda, the jester, the clown ,and the king were left to greet the advancing barbarians. yolanda turned into a white bird and flew north. jumpy the jester turned into a blue dog and headed east. cosmic the clown, after finishing off the toast and marmalade, turned into a turtle and began crawling west. only the king was left to welcome the leader of the barbarians, which he did with all the courtesy and good breeding which had been taught him since his early youth.

plant

by dog e relaford

i planted a flower but it did not grow i begged my love to stay but she said she had to go i went down to the city to ask the man for a job but he declined to give me one because my name was bob if my name was bill or joe i would have been all set i sat upon a bench and tried my troubles to forget a pigeon came along the street with eyes like bright black beads o rulers of the earth and sky help a poor man in his need