good morning, citizen. have a seat.
thank you.
you are edward j smith. of 33 chestnut avenue, apartment 4, waverleyville?
that is me.
you are unemployed?
at present, yes.
you live with, and are supported by, your mother?
yes, and i appreciate it. she is the greatest mom, and the greatest person in the world.
no doubt. you are a frequent patron of mcdonalds, burger king, dunkin, and other establishments on main street in the downtown area?
you could say that.
and you strike up, or attempt to strike up, conversations with people in these establishments and sometimes ask them to take quizzes?
yes i do, but not as successfully as i would like. is there any law against it?
you recently made the acquaintance of another person calling himself edward smith and you administered a quiz to him, one you had previously administered on other occasions to a mister vincent wallace and to a ms coral kennedy.
“administered” makes it sound like they had to take it. they all agreed to take it.
we have a recording of your conversation with this edward smith. i am going to play it back to you so that you can verify its authenticity.
if you say you have it, i don’t doubt it.
for the record, we want you verify it.
whatever. what is your name, by the way? is it edward smith?
no, it is charles ashley.
charles ashey took what looked like a smartphone out of his desk and pressed a button on it and it played back eddie’s first conversation with eddie 2.
does that sound accurate?
i guess.
nothing deleted or added?
not that i noticed.
good. now i understand that you had a second part to this quiz, that you were prepared to administer to edward smith number 2.
that is correct.
do you have this quiz on your phone?
i could probably find notes for it. but i could just ask you the questions. wouldn’t that be easier?
i suppose it could. but we may want to look at the notes later.
can i have a glass of water?
charles ashley sighed. oh, i suppose so.
is it that big a deal? people in hell want ice water, i will take a glass of water without ice.
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