in the year 27134

by fred flynn

hello. good-bye. excuse me! why, what’s wrong? you know what’s wrong. i’m afraid i do not. you have grievously denied my existence. i never knew you had an existence. let us look at the facts. i love facts, they are my favorite thing. i said hello to you, and you responded by saying good-bye to me, an unpardonable rudeness among civilized people. you were already past me when i had the opportunity to respond to your unexpected - unexpected as i never saw you before you in my life - salutation, and as i am responding to the most desperate personal matter and have no time for your gratuitous nonsense, i naturally bid you goodbye. what would you have had me done? never saw me before in your life! are you not empathy irrigation cornerstone? i am one of tens of thousands with that name. what of it? and did you not attend the university of v———— school of communication in the year two of the new era, after the old king was so cruelly assassinated? i do not see that that is relevant. you say that you do not recognize me. do you not wish to know my name, that you can check it against the names in your memory bank? not in the slightest. there is no slightest about it. you either wish to know my name or you do not. what is going here? you two desperadoes are holding up the flow of the whole metropolis. this person is my twin sibling and has insulted me, and refused to validate my existence. i have never seen this fulminating entity before in my life. there seems to be a difference of perspective here. there certainly does! yes, so it seems. there is only one way to settle it - the old-fashioned way, by mortal combat. i am not a violent person, and have no familiarity with weaponry. bring it on. be that as it may, you are going to settle it here and now. i have only two sets of weapons with me - samurai swords snd and regulation 66-d ray blasters. i have never seen a sword or a blaster in my life. you have seen movies, haven’t you? everyone in the movies knows how to use a blaster. i know how to use one. i was an olympic silver medalist in the 600 meter blastings in the year ten, when our beloved queen was married to the king of t__________. excellent. here is one for you, and one for you. are they loaded? of course they are loaded. is there some kind of safety? here, let me see it. now you are all set. now i will count to fifteen. wait a minute ! how far apart are we to stand? as far apart as you like. the person whose name had not been asked, dropped the blaster and turned and ran up the ramp. the officer counted to fifteen and empathy irrigation cornerstone fired the blaster and blew the nameless individual to kingdom come and smithereens. thank you. i wish it was always this easy. you are very welcome. i am always happy to assist the security apparatus. you will have to come to headquarters and make a statement. i was responding to a desperately urgent personal matter when this unfortunate incident unfolded. in that case, do you promise to come down to headquarters at your earliest convenience to make a statement? i promise. thank you. traffic resumed.

hit

by horace p sternwall

and then it hit him. holliday. jarvis had mentioned holliday. but what did jarvis know about holliday and how did he know it. he got back in the car and headed back to the island. jarvis was right where he left him, with his fist in a bag of popcorn. forget something? jarvis asked. no, but you did? and what was that? holliday. who? you were not supposed to know about holliday. what are you talking about? it’s a little late now for the innocent act. you only get one mistake in this game, and you made it. what the - put that thing away.. i am going to put one thing away - you. after all we have been through together? i should have known - how did we ever get together, anyway? sheila. sheila’s been gone for a long time. now you can get together - it will be like old times no __________ * he had done it. he had survived, he had won. he was the last man left on earth.

1956

by genghis gilgamesh

it was the year 1956. president eisenhower had just been reelected in a landslide vote. johnny marberry and billy witlkewicz were walking home from the william jennings bryan school, where they were students in the sixth grade. johnny lived in a big house on the hill, and billy lived in a small apartment above his father’s tailor shop on a small street between the railroad tracks and a factory that made boot and shoe laces. even though the two boys were from different classes of society, they were good friends, because it was america. johnny spied an object on the sidewalk and pointed it out to billy. what is that? johnny asked. it looks like a potato. what would a potato be doing in the middle of the sidewalk? maybe it fell out of somebody’s shopping bag as they were walking home from mister miller’s market, billy opined. it seems curious, johnny mused, that only one potato would fall out of the bag. maybe other things fell out of the bag too, said billy, and the person carrying the bag picked all the other things up but somehow missed the potato. that makes sense, johnny agreed, but what if it is not a potato at all but something else altogether? let’s take a closer look, billy exclaimed. and they did, it was not a potato at all! what do you think it was?

have a care

by bofa xesjum

nobody seems to care that young people don’t know anything these days. excuse me, do i know you? what gives you the right to address me in that manner? very soon all will be revealed, harry thought. the gathering was being held under a cloudy sky. that is just too bad, the clown aggressively informed alexander, the host. so’s your old man, frank added. i remember you now. isaac suddenly exclaimed to the clown. how exceedingly quaint, marilyn thought to.herself. permit me to introduce myself, billy interpolated suavely. it is cold outside, albert observed. never say never. everything was going according to plan, just as the big goof had assured alexander it would. inside the house, daniel, christopher, omar , and charles sat around a bridge table, but they were not really playing bridge at all, they were plotting to ___________. for what is the use of a story without plotting? jesse mused.

the interview

by henry drown

dfg-75, a humble technician employed by the abc corporation, was summoned to the office of the chief executive officer of the corporation. come in, dfg-75, and close the door behind you, the. chief executve officer said, with a voice and expression that were neither friendly nor unfriendly. i suppose you know why i have had you brought here, the chief executive officer continued, when dfg-75 had seated himself.. no, i do not, dfg-75 replied. you do not know why you are here? no. you have absolutely no idea why you are here? i am sorry , i do not, dfg-75 replied for the third time. very well then, you may go. please close the door behind you. dfg-75 got up and left the room and returned to his work station. he never heard anything more about the incident, either from his supervisors or in his annual reports, and he never asked about it. he continued to work at the abc corporation for many years.

geniality

by rhoda penmarq

the robot opened the door and smiled genially at little f- 876493. little f- 876493 smiled back as best they could, and asked, is big s-310765 in? do you have an appointment? no, but i am an old friend. big s-310765 doesn’t have any friends. well, in that case big s-310765 must be lonely, and in need of consolation. big s-310765 is in conference, the robot replied imperturbably, and has not indicated any need or desire for consolation from his oldest and most trusted associates. in that case, they might like to see a fresh face. i do not think so. may i make an appointment to see big s-310765 sometime in the future? you may leave a request to see big s-310765. very well, i request to see big s-310765. the robot smiled again. you may leave your request at room 77 down the hall on your left. will i need anything to do that? identification of course. along with a sample of your ftw, and a video of yourself pleading your case or giving an overview of your proposed existence. thank you, you have been very helpful. service is my existence. and with that, the robot closed the door, little f- 876493 turned to little t-49210x, who had been waiting a few feet down the hallway. what do you thinK? we have come this far. i don’t like it. i say we leave, and go out and shoot some grouse instead. do you not want to leave some of your ftw, or a video? i will do it, if you don’t want to. very well, i will meet you out on the moors when you are done. would you like me to bring you a sandwich and a flask of whiskey? that sounds like it would just hit the spot.

what do atoms do?

by bofa xesjum

an atom spun. a butterfly landed on a leaf. a cat prowled. a dog barked. evangeline woke up.. it seemed to be around noon, but the house was strangely quiet. fortunately, the overhead fan was working. where was everybody? a servant or two, at least. evangeline wandered from room to room, but nobody seemed to be about. she looked out the big window. the sun was busy baking the horrible flat colonial landscape that she hated so much. finally she noticed a small note on the coffee table in the big front room. the note was held down by a polished gray rock that almost covered it. dear evangeline, the note began, in what she recognized as gerald’s prim handwriting, we tried to wake you but could not. the countryside is in something of an uproar, as the natives are having one of their surly fits. we have loaded up the two trucks and are headed for the helicopter pad or, failing that, the port, ferguson declared that as you took no part in loading up the trucks, and as they were quite full, no time should be wasted finding room for tour insensate carcass. good luck! what rot, evangeine thought. they left me here because they do not care for me. she wandered into the kitchen. the refrigerator was working. the shelves were bare, but there was a half pint of vamilla ice cream in the freezer compartment, and she found a spoon and began eating it. evangeline did not have much imagination but she wondered what might happen if the servants returned, maybe bringing other natives or rebels or whatever they called themselves, with them. or maybe the whole thing would just blow over and ferguson and the rest of them would return, and have a good laugh about it, and tell endless stories about it. p>