meaningless

by nick nelson

what do you think is the most meaningless word in language? here is a list. you may well have your own list, and your own choice as to which single word is the most meaningless. assume that all these words can be translated into almost all widely used languages. authoritarian bad definitive deserving extraordinary fascist freedom genius good groundbreaking human hypocritical indigenous imperialist important meaningful meaningless mediocre natural normal power privilege progressive reactionary revolutionary sensational subversive together * my own nomination for most meaningless word is “human” - when it is used in any but a strict biological sense. the spectators acted in a completely inhuman way. i want to be respected for what i am - a human being. the movie was a great human experience and brought the whole audience together. what does it mean to be human?

in a jar

by genghis gilgamesh

walter had a dinosaur he kept it in a jar every time it sang a song walter smoked a cigar mrs miller lived next door and disapproved of walter’s pet she never carried an umbrella when it rained, she got wet sheriff john barker at night patrolled the grounds he kept his eyes peeled like a cobra’s but never showed what he found they may all still be there down by the old mill they always keep their secrets and always take their pills

bear

by tinothy t jones

a bear went walking in the woods because he had the goods on the devastation of civilization every year the cars got easier to break into and the snacks in them just got tastier and tastier at the rate they were going in 3000 years there would be more cars than trees and all them filled with beer and pretzels and ham sandwiches the sun smiled at their folly and the skies wept and over eternity a trillion clouds swept

stroll

by bofa xesjum

i dreamed i took a stroll down primrose lane with my lonely soul we met captain kidd and jesse james who called us some unflattering names we took it to heart and tried to make a new start and scoured the highways trying to do it our way we found a bicycle for two it looked brand new we could not date it so we appropriated it we sped down the road shedding our heavy load of guilt and shame with our brand new names i was 785-679 and my soul was j robert oppenheimer at the edge of the universe you will find us for better or worse

doorway

by bofa xesjum

a man of mystery waited in a doorway perhaps he had written a novel when he was young but now thought that art was obsolete and that poetry had gone out of life all these thoughts could be deduced from his demeanor but even more from his wardrobe which was made up of equal parts art and infinity because he was a man of the world, in the old-fashioned sense perhaps he had painted a picture when he was young or drawn up a blueprint for the complete restructuring of human society because the end times are coming and sorrow will envelop the earth the man of mystery is waiting for something, anything, to show him a sign but night is falling and the headlights of a patrol car appear at the end of the street

the cat

by corinne delmonico

peter pan woke up from a curious dream in which he had been a cat chased by a giant mouse. peter did not set much store by dreams and did not regard them either as prophecies of future events, or as keys to his own personality. he did not have much of a personality, and did not think overmuch of future events, preferring to take life one day at a time. but the dream about being a cat perplexed him, and he could not stop thinking about it as he made his morning cup of instant coffee. as he was sipping his coffee, he idly picked up the reader’s digest, a subscription to which had been purchased for him as a birthday present by his court appointed guardian, mr william wilson. his eye fell on an article entitled, “do you need a new consciousness?” peter became so engrossed in the article that he let his cup of coffee grow cold. this is just the ticket, he thought, this is exactly what i need - a new consciousness. on his phone, he tappped in the question: how do i find a new consciousness? but the did not find the answers were very informative. some of the answers were: grind your monkey like coffee. ? this sounded like something to do with romance, and peter was not a romance person. steal things off other people’s desks at work. peter worked at a startup fast food establishment, and he and his fellow employees did not have desks do not let your little liver pills scatter. what was a little liver pill? did it make a big liver smaller, or a big liver smaller. peter did not trust the answers he was being given. not for the first time he began to wonder if his life, and the universe, were controlled by an evil clown. and did the evil clown who controlled the universe have a name? he decided to go out in the street and ask the first person he saw if they knew the name of the evil clown. but once out in the street - south broadway - he lost his nerve and could bring himself to accost anyone and ask the question. he decided to back to his room and try to fall asleep and encounter again the giant mouse who had been chasing him and ask the mouse about the clown. but on his way back to his apartment he was arrested on an outstanding warrant for an undisclosed crime. he was brought before a stern magistrate, who combined elements of the giant mouse and the evil clown.

henry, part 2

by corinne delmonico

to read part 1, click here

so i can go? that is what i said. did you have anything you wanted to ask me? who do you like in the bears-packers game tonight? i thought it was tomorrow night. no, it is tonight, for sure. the bears are favored by four and a half. for four and a half, i like the packers. want me to put a bet down for you? uh, no, i want to think about it a little bit first. the game is tonight. i heard you the first time. have a nice night, henry. you too, mr lord high inquisitor. * hello, ms frietchie. hello, henry. how did your session with the inspector go? very well, thank you. he asked me to say hello to you for him. yes, he is always a gentleman. i am not going to ask you what you discussed, because i am not by nature an inquisitive person, and besides, i am prevented from doing so by the privacy act of year 23. he told me to call him the grand high inquisitor. there is no such office, but he does like his little joke. such a pleasant gentleman. yes, he does. i have a great sense of humor myself, and i like other people who have a sense of humor. moving right along., i have arranged an appointment for you with the doctor. on wednesday at 0900 hours. thank you. can i go for a walk? yes, but be sure you do not exceed the limit of fifteen minutes. i will do my best not to, but unforeseen circumstances may intervene. another of your little jokes. be back in fifteen minutes. * where is henry? he is not back yet. is he ever? but he never really leaves, does he? like the rest of us.