chairman 12 - eddie and joey

by fred flynn

part 12 of ?

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hello joey. i’m eddie. how are you today? not so great, thank you for asking. why not? i am the ruler of the universe, and i do not appreciate being brought here like this. how about that? i am the ruler of the universe too. so we should get along. i am the real ruler. let’s not fight. why don’t we just get this over with? i have a few questions for you so why don’t we get on with it? if i get the right answers, do i get a prize? there are no right or wrong answers. what kind of questions are those? there are always right answers, and i know them. that is an interesting thought. it might be the basis for a future quiz. but let’s do this one, i have it all ready. i want a prize. i will give you a prize when we finish. which will be what? it will be a surprise. but you will like it. now, here is the first question. are you a good person? i am the ruler of the universe. i will take that as a yes. do you love the whole human race? i play right field for the yankees. the right fielder for the yankees must love the whole human race. another yes. what percentage of the human race do you think loves the whole human race? i am not good with numbers. i don’t believe in them. which of these percentages do you think is closest? of people who love the whole human race? 5%, 20%, 75% or 100%? i don’t believe in percentages. humor me. pick a number - 5, 20, 75, or 100? 75. thank you. what percentage of the human race do you think just want what’s rightfully theirs? i know i want what’s rightfully mine, but i am not getting it. this is thirsty work. i need another glass of water. to be continued