roger and destiny

by bofa xesjum

roger parker was born. in his early years he lived in connecticut. he was not a very noticeable child. he decided to become a yahoo. it was many years before his destiny was revealed. roger saw a wahoo in the street one day. as the wahoo approached, roger summoned up all his courage. what time is it? roger asked the wahoo. time to get out the best silverware, the wahoo replied enigmatically. suddenly a yeti appeared behind the wahoo. roger and the wahoo heard a jarring crash in the street as a strange flying object landed in it. a terrible sight was beheld in the sky. roger had had enough. he turned and ran and did not stop until he was came to a ferris wheel in the middle of a desert. he bought a ticket and got on it. as soon as the wheel began to turn, roger fell asleep. he had a dream in which his destiny was revealed. what do you think roger’s destiny was? a) he became a world famous pop star b) he became a successful influencer c) he was kidnapped by ___________ 1) aliens 2) bigfoot 3) clowns 4) drug lords 5) enemies of the people 6) enemies of the state 7) the government 8) happy hooligans 9) juvenile delinquents 10) the mob 11) the klan 12) the people’s liberation army 13) other (specify_________________) d) he started a new religion which gained billions of followers e) he started a new religion that gained thirteen followers f) he started a new religion that gained no followers g) he was elected president of the united states h) he was elected secretary general of the united nations i) he was was elected president of the world bank j) he got a job delivering domino’s pizza k) he got a job as a counterperson at mcdonalds l) he got a job as a counterperson at burger king m) he got a job as a counterperson at wendy’s n) he got a job as a counterperson at arby’s roast beef o) he got a job as a telemarketer p) he became an assassin for hire, taking all jobs offered q) he became an assassin for hire,only killing bad people r) he became a serial killer, killing strangers at random s) he became a serial killer, only killing bad people t) he became a wandering minstrel u) he traveled from town to town, doing good deeds v) he traveled from town to town, righting wrongs w) he traveled from town to town, panhandling x) he became a hermit and lived in the desert with a bobcat and a boa constrictor y) he became a homeless crackhead z) other (specify___________)