edward smith was an ordinary guy, with an ordinary (though not very secure) job in a minor department in a small city in a medium state in the greatest country in the world.
so he was surprised when he was chosen, out of all the people in the greatest country, and all the people on the planet, to be picked up by a galactic empire spacecraft and presented with a proposal of the galactic empire to be transmitted to the rest of the human race.
seated in the comfortable lounge of the spacecraft, sipping a can of mountain dew that the aliens had thoughtfully provided him with, edward scanned the printout of the proposal.
the proposal read as follows:
all earthlings, beginning with the inhabitants of the greatest country, will be relocated to a spot in the southern pacific ocean where they will be organized into work gangs which will construct a new city where all earthlings will subsequently reside.
when the new city has been completed, all earthlings will be permanently housed in it and will work as directed by the empire, mostly in factories manufacturing new weapons for the empire’s further conquests.
every earthling will be required to work twelve hours a day, and exercise one hour a day.
each human will be allotted three liters of water, one half gram of protein, and one and a half hours of sunshine a day.
each human will be allowed one hour a day - under the strictest supervision - to engage in so-called “cultural activities” , such “cultural activities” to be pre-approved by the empire.
edward finished reading the document and looked up.
“well?” the alien who seemed to be in charge asked him. “what do you think? do you think we will have a deal?”
“a deal?” edward asked. “how is it a deal? what do we get out of it? what is in it for us?”
“we will get rid of donald trump for you.”
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