lydia and magenta

by bofa xesjum

my dearest lydia, i am so sorry to hear of your tragic loss. i remember jonathon as always being the life of the party and more fun than a barrel of monkeys. he will be sorely missed. sincerely, your devoted, magenta * dear magenta, i have no interest in your crocodile tears or your mealy mouthed banalities. please do not contact me again. sincerely, lydia * my dearest lydia, i am sorry you treat me this way. i have always loved you more than i love myself and have always considered you the most beautiful, the most wonderful, and the most glamorous human who has ever lived. really, i like you a lot. sncerely, magenta * dear magenta, if you feel that way, how about lending me ten thousand dollars? i could really use it. sincerely, the most beautiful, wonderful, and glamorous person who has ever lived, lydia * my dearest lydia, that you would accept ten thousand dollars from me a dream come true. how do you want the money? cash, check, money order? paypal? transfer money to a bank account of yours? would you like me to deliver the money to you in person? with love, magenta * dearest magenta, the last thing in the world i want is to look at your stupid ugly face. please send me a postal money order for the amount. on second thought, send twenty thousand dollars, if you love me so much. sincerely, lydia * my dearest lydia, the money order is in the mail. all my love, magenta * dear channing, your plan is working to perfection. i am sorry that i ever doubted you or your plan. magenta’s money order for ten thousand dollars is in the mail - or so she says. i will lt you know when it arrives and i have cashed it. lydia * darling lydia, thank you so much. however i think it best that i cash the money order myself. as my social standing is so much higher than yours, my cashing it will not excite any suspicion, as, unfortunately, yours might. please let me know as soon as you receive the money order. sincerely, channing * dear channing, i bow as always to your superior judgment. i will let you know as soon as i receive magenta’s money order. lydia * dear dave, everything is going according to plan. how predictable people are! channing * bob, everything is settled, and we will have the whole crew wrapped up and ready for delivery tomorrow. it has been great working with you. you are a true professional and an inspiration to the whole department, over and out, dave