kenneth ingoldsby

by nick nelson

kenneth ingoldsby was a philosopher. he thought that people were bad, but should be good. despairing of persuading them to be better, he decided to go live by himself in the desert. he packed a change of clothing, a heavy sweater. two bottles of water, and a couple of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a couple of ham and cheese sandwiches in a knapsack snd started down the highway toward he desert. he had been warned that he would not be able to hitchhike because hitchhiking was obsolete, and he found this to be the case. he walked and walked and his feet got sore. a few big trucks passed him fin both directions in the first few miles if his walk, but as he approached the desert they disappeared, and there was nothing himself and the highway and the blue sky and the burning sun,’ the road stopped and he was in the desert. he walked and walked. the sun went down. night fell. he walked and walked some more and saw a campfire - or some kind of fire - in the distance. he decided to approach it. four creatures were sitting around the fire. it was difficult, in the smoky haze off the fire, to make out exactly what they were. at first kenneth thought they were a dragon, a bear, a mighty barbarian, and a clown. but as he got closer he thought they were a pope, a nun, a monk, and a witch. what brings you here, stranger, the first creature, which he had thought might be a dragon or a pope, but on closer inspection looked like winston churchill, asked. i have come to the desert to find myself - i mean, to be by myself, kenneth answered haltingly but you find us here, the second creature,,whom he had thought was a bear or a nun, but now more resembled eleanor roosevelt, informed him brusquely. kenneth had no reply. do you have anything to eat? he asked, i am hungry. but you have four sandwiches in your knapsack, the third creature, who looked like nikita khruschev, replied. give them to us, the fourth creature, who looked like simone de beauvoir , insisted, in a tone that brooked no contradiction. a star fell from the sky.