i am a friendly person. like most people these days, i make my living at home, in my apartment, and being a friendly person, i like to get out at night and talk to people. i mean, i see people on zoom and whatever, and talk to customers and potential customers all day and much of the night, but to an old fashioned person like me it is not quite the same.
so, like i say, i like to get out sometimes and talk to people. i do not really have any so-called days off, so i stay away from bars or places with alcohol, because i need my brain to be sharp - at least as sharp as it can be, ha ha - at all times in case i am called upon by my employer.
mostly i go to this little donut shop - actually it is a pretty big donut shop, open twenty four hours a day, and brightly lit up, and except maybe between two and five in the morning, crowded.
busy as it is, there is no crowd of “regulars” who are always there, and the people who work behind the counters, it seems like they change every week or every day. and a lot of them do not seem to speak much english except for what they have to to get by in taking orders for coffee or donuts or breakfast sandwiches so as i am an ignorant american who speaks only english, i would not be getting into any serious conversations with them even if they had any inclination to talk to me, which they do not seem to have anyway.
be all that as it may, i do sometimes manage to talk to people. the other night i was in there pretty late, sitting at one of the little tables by myself, and i saw this fellow at the next little table, and he looked sort of sad and lonely, so i asked him how it was going with him, and he obliged me by telling me.
i do not say it was the saddest story i ever heard, but i thought it was a pretty sad one. but judge for yourself, here it is.
i thought i had it pretty good (he began) and that i was getting places and that everybody liked me.
and then i started getting the feeling that some people were out to get me.
and it turned out to be true, they were.
but i fought back with all the strength at my command. i said never say die, and i did not give in.
for a while i thought i had them beaten back, but as the days went by i realized they were massing their forces against me more than ever and were determined to destroy me, and leave me without a shred of my pride or dignity.
but i still did not quit. quitters never win and winners never quit, that is what i told myself.
i picked myself up off the mat and got back in the center of the ring.
i gave it everything i had, and then some.
but they kept on coming. they showed me no mercy. if i wanted mercy , look for it in dictionary under “m”, that is what they told me.
all my so called friends and allies ignored me or actively turned against me.
i never realized what rats and hypocrites and psychopaths and sadists and backstabbers people were, and how much they loved to kick you when you were down.
i swear to you that i gave it everything i had and more. i fought and fought and fought.
but in the end they swept over me like a tidal wave over a little island in the middle of the ocean as far as the eye could see.
and now i have nothing and am nothing.
so ended the sad looking man’s story. i tried to offer him some words of encouragement and tell him that it was always darkest before dawn and all that, but i could not get him to look me in the eye or say anything more.
i finished my coffee and chocolate glazed donut with coconut sprinkles, and got up and left.
i walked back to my apartment through the dark streets.
a light rain began to fall.
No comments:
Post a Comment