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Tuesday, June 14, 2022

wealth


by nick nelson



the archangel michael , wielding a flaming sword, appeared to mr elon musk in a dream and suggested that he divest himself of his wealth and spread it evenly among the world’s population.

mr musk agreed to do this, and on waking, ordered his underlings to set in motion the proceedings to do this.

it was determined that mr musk’s wealth was 250 billion dollars, and that there were 7.9 billion persons on the planet.

this came to $31.75 per person. this amount was directed to the bank accounts of every person in the planet who had a bank account, and checks for the amount were sent to the phones of all the persons without bank accounts.

747 persons on the planet could not be contacted by either of these methods , so mr musk was left with a bank account of $23,717.25.

with this money he purchased a used 2020 chevrolet impala, and drove it to an employment agency in gainesville florida, where he found a job as an assistant golf pro at a club outside ocala florida.

what did people do with their $31.75? here are are a few sample answers, mostly from the united states and europe. as results of surveys come in from south america, asia, and africa, a clearer picture may emerge.

samuel d johnson, a used car salesman from binghamton new york, treated himself - himself - to a steak dinner at applebee’s and left a good tip.

ramona richards. a homeless person in seattle washington, purchased $31.75 worth of recreational drugs.

carl collins, a second year agroforestry student at stephen f austin state university in nagodoches texas, also purchased $31.75 of recreational drugs.

desiree davies, a self-described survivalist living outside pocatello idaho, bought. $31.75 worth of rhubarb seeds.

conrad harker, of liverpool england, gave his money to his elderly mother.

11 year old sarah nelson, of regina sasketchawan put the money in the savings account she had started for her college tuition. she hopes to study creative writing.

jude mccarthy of meeker colorado gave his money to a fund set up to purchase guns to arm teachers in local schools.

dave carter, a self described adventurer living on the boardwalk at atlantic city new jersey, put all his money on red at one of the local casinos but the black came up.

reverend peter smith, a retired clergymen in bath, england, happliy purchased a somewhat faded second hand copy of sir walter scott’s count robert of paris, printed in 1840, illustrated by eugene delacroix.

abby carter-matthews, an aspiring model living in manhattan and supported by her family, gave the money to the first panhandler who approached her.

of course, this is just a made up story.

but suppose it was real. what would you do with your $31.75?


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