have a seat, kyle. this won’t take long.
i have your report here. i see that you met all your goals.
your attendance was good. perfect, in fact. for the fourth year in a row. that is impressive, very impressive.
but, you know, it is also a bit of a red flag. studies have shown that people with perfect attendance tend to be plodders, not have a lot of creativity. that is just a study somebody made. but you might keep it in mind.
like i said. you met all your goals. and there were no complaints about you, from any part of our customer base.
and, none of your fellow employees have reported you for any violations of company policy, or for anything at all.
your personal life seems to be above reproach.
all this is well and good, but there is one problem.
we just don’t like you.
so, we are letting you go, effective immediately.
we ask that you clean out your desk and surrender your laptop and company phone. a security person is waiting for you outside the door and will escort you out of the building.
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