i 'd like to place an order

by fred flynn

“what did you say your name was, again?” “zack allworthy. from number one courier service.” “right. i must say, mr allworthy. that i am a little bit disappointed by your appearance.” “oh?” “i was expecting someone with a little more dash, who looked a little bit more like paul newman or brad pitt.” “but, sir, if that were the case, i would be more noticeable. and one of the keys to my profession is thst i am not noticeable.” “yes, i guess that makes sense. be that as it may, here is the document you are deliver to mr willington of number one bank. you are to deliver it to him personally, put it in his hand yourself, do you understand?’ “of course, sir. this is my job. this is what i do.” “very well, then.” mr swithin, of the world treasury, handed zack alllworthy a small, plain white envelope. zack allworthy took the envelope and slipped it into a slightly larger brown envelope and put the brown envelope into a medium sized briefcase he had with him. “you don’t chain that to your wrist?” mr swithin asked. “no, sir, that just attracts attention.” “i suppose you know what you are doing.” “it is what you are paying me for, sir.” “i suppose so,” mr swithin sighed. he watched zack allworthy go out the door,. he trembled when he thought of what the plain white envelope contained. a check for one trillion dollars! one trillion dollars, delivered to mr willington of number one bank, to be divided up equally - one hundred billion dollars each, to the ten largest banks in the world. if the check should fall into the wrong hands… * “hello, this is happyburgers. how can i help you?” “i’d like to place an order.” “pickup or delivery?” “delivery. lots of delivery.” “all right.” “before we go on, you still have the bargain where a happyburger is only four dollars and sixteen cents if you buy more than a hundred?” “that is correct. can i have your name, please?” “janie jones.” “and what is your order, ms jones?” “i would like to order 32 happyburgers for every man, woman, and child on the planet earth.” “um - let me bring up mr calculator - “ “it should come to a little less than one trillion dollars - that’s for 7.5 billion people.” “let me see, yeah, that looks about right. you want fries, shakes, slurpies?” “uh - not unless you want to throw them in. “ “i don’t have the authority to do that.” “all right, let it go.” “how did you want to pay for this order?” “i have a check. i can bring it over, i’m just around the corner. i can be there in three minutes.” “sounds good.” mickey put the phone down. “hey, sal!” “yeah?” mickey explained the situation to sal, who was in charge. “you think we should call judy?” judy was the manager. “at three in the morning? i don’t think so.” just then janie jones walked in. she showed the check for a trillion dollars to mickey and sal. “what do you think?” mickey asked sal. “should we wait until judy wakes up? or maybe call cleveland? “if you don’t want the order, i can try freedom burgers,” janie jones said. sal hesitated. “get it rolling,” he told mickey. “just do it.” “o k , sal, but it’s on you.” * so it was that the world woke up the next morning to discover that 32 happyburgers were being delivered to every person on the planet, with money that had been intended for the ten largest banks in the world. in the ensuing scandal, the ruling class, which had governed the human race for ten thousand years, were forced to get in their space ships and return to their own planet. after ten thousand years, the human race was free - free at last! questions remained. who was zack allworthy, really? and who was janie jones? neither of them were ever seen or heard from again. more importantly - will the ruling class ever return? we can only say - be vigilant. and watch the skies. watch the skies!