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Monday, May 27, 2019

annual


by anonymous




jonathon arrived on time for his annual review, as he always had.

he entered the interview room when he was directed to do so, and closed the door behind him.

the interviewer looked to be the same person as the year before, but he could not be sure.

good morning, jonathon, the interviewer greeted him.

good morning.

the interviewer pulled up jonathon’s file.

well, what have we got here.

i see that you have not accomplished anything this year.

or done anything at all.

nothing worth noting happened to you.

or ever has.

you did not develop any distinguishing characteristics.

and have never had any.

i see that you have no friends.

and that nobody likes you.

or finds you the least bit interesting or amusing.

you have not said, done, or thought anything original.

or made any contributions to society.

nor have you ever done so.

you are completely useless.

and just take up space.

do you question these findings?

no, jonathon replied.

or have anything to add to them?

no.

very well then, i will see you again next year. have a nice day.

thank you, jonathon replied. you have a nice day yourself.


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