harold perkins - nobody is ever really named harold perkins, but let it go - walked down the street, carrying a styrofoam cup of coffee in one hand and a small white bag containing a raspberry danish in the other.
he walked down the street as his father and grandfather and great-grandfather had walked before him, except that he did not carry a briefcase, only his coffee and danish, and he did not wear a tie.
harold was a happy person, he had a job he could not describe, a wife he despised, and two children, a boy and a girl, who despised him, but he just loved being alive, and being able to drink coffee and eat danish pastries and pizzas and cheeseburgers, and watch reruns of cheers and seinfeld and star trek .
when harold entered his office his two colleagues marcia diaz-watkins and griff johnasen were waiting for him, each with their own coffee and pastry - a plain croissant for marcia and a jely donut for griff.
“and how are we this morning?” harold asked them with his trademark smile.
“not too bad,” marcia replied, “considering that the planet is in flames, and that women’s rights are being rolled back all over the world. and of, course, today is the big day.”
the big day? harold wondered. what big day? but he just asked griff, “how about you?”
“pretty good,” griff answered, “except for the cells marked at guantanamo for hillary and obama still being empty. “ he took a sip of his coffee. “and today being the big day.”
“help me out here, guys,” harold said, “but what is this ‘big day’? i must have missed something.”
“at noon today,” marcia told him, “the entire populations of the states of new york and new jersey are being relocated to madagascar for a year’s sensitivity training, after which we will all be assigned to soybean farms in kenya, mongolia, or north dakota.”
“of course!” harold exclaimed. “i have been so busy i forgot all about it.” he patted his pocket. “and i forgot to bring a toothbrush.”
“i think they will provide you with a toothbrush, harold,” marcia assured him.
“then i guess we are all set then,” harold smiled. “ i guess there won’t be much point in doing anything much this morning, except empty the wastebaskets.”
“same old harold,” griff said. “smiling through it all.”
“why not?” harold asked. “whatever happens, happens. as long as we get coffee, ha ha.”
“speaking of which,” griff added, “does anybody know who got the coffee concession on this deal?”
“i heard it was either starbucks or dunkin donuts,” marcia told him.
“we will find out,” said harold.
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