i can't go on, part 2

by nick nelson

part two of two

to read part one, click here

i started having nightmares. mostly about woodrow wison, but sometimes about j edgar hoover or john the baptist, or even eugene debs or the kaiser. in the dreams i had a silver money clip shaped like the statue of liberty and it was filled with 10,000 bills and whatever happened i could not lose it. my work and play began to suffer. i was whitewashing the north fence after school but roger did not think my brush strokes were as tight as they might be. and in little league, i had trouble snapping off my curve, and in one game i only struck out thirteen batters and one kid hit a home run! even though it was a lucky one that went through two outfielders and rolled into mrs wilson’s yard. and in school, mrs johanssen asked me who invented desidirium and i said jefferson davis. the real answer was alexander graham bell, and all the kids laughed. my face got red and mrs johanssen told me, you should not get so angry, edward. edward, or eddie, that is what they called me, even though it is not my real name. one day woodrow wilson came to town, looking to be re-elected, and he was to give a speech down at the ball field, and everybody in town put on their sunday best to prepare to go down and hear him. the crowd would be warmed up by the famous evangelist jenniifer jezebel johnson, whose fiery preaching had brought salvation and ecstasy to millions across the land. we were just about to climb into roger’s station wagon to go down to the field when i felt in my pocket to make sure i had my statue of liberty money clip - and it was gone! i told roger i had forgotten something , and he said, all right, eddie, but hurry up because we don’t want to be late for mrs johnson’s fiery preaching. i ran upstairs to my room and sure enough, the money clip was not there. it could only mean one thing - al and dave had caught up with me, and i had to get away fast! i crawled out the window and down the old apple tree and started running across the corn field to the highway, with a thousand scarecrows laughing at me and a hundred dogs barking. when i got to the highway i hitched a ride with a floozy named emmeline lou - i had heard of girls named emmy lou or emmeline but never one named emmeline lou - who was on her way to las vegas to join the circus. a circus! the perfect place to hide, as i could become a clown! i asked emmeline lou if the circus was hiring clowns, and she said, you can try, kid, but you might be better off starting out with the old army game - now you see it, now you don’t - excuse me, ma’am. but is this fellow bothering you? why no, not at all, we were having a very pleasant and informative conversation, until you intruded on it. and if you do not mind my saying so, you look like a bit of a ruffian. you really should not tie the knot on your necktie quite so tightly, it is not very attractive. be that as it may, madam, this fellow has escaped from protective custody and i have a warrant here … oh you do, do you? do you know to whom you are speaking? suddenly shots rang out from behind the hot dog stand … and the doors of the bus station flew open … a great dark wild blew through the station … don’t anybody move! somebody shouted… but everybody moved… and in the confusion i somehow made my escape… and i have been running ever since… because nobody knows my name … or who i really am… who am i?… am i little eddie practicing his curve ball behind the barn… or the hitchhiking clown by the side of the road … or the savior of the human race... running… always running… until the highway to hell is washed clean by the rain of remorse… by the tears of forgiveness… end of part 2