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Tuesday, May 7, 2019

the empty house


by fan taser




emily had been married to frederick for several months, but continued to be surprised and gratified by evidence of his fabulous wealth, as well as by his attentiveness and devotion.

emily’s mother, and her best friend, charlotte, had been skeptical of frederick when emily first met him. they professed to be puzzled by the fact that, despite his supposed great wealth, they could find no mention of his existence on the internet.

emily explained to them, as frederick had explained to her - “frederick is one of the people who really own the world. those people you read about in the news and online, like bill gates and jeff bezos, they are just actors hired by the really rich people to play the part. so that people like frederick can enjoy their privacy.”


one morning frederick suggested to emily that they drive up to one of frederick’s houses for the weekend, one that frederick had never mentioned before, near the canadian border.

“another one!” emily laughed. “darling, you continue to amaze me.”

“it’s just a little place,” frederick replied.

“with what, about fifty rooms?” emily teased.

“fifty or sixty. but it’s empty. i don’t use it much.”

“completely empty?” emily asked. “somebody must take care of it.”


“oh, there is a housekeeper, mrs wellesley. i suppose she hires some locals once in a while if something needs to be fixed, but basically it is just her. she won’t bother us. it will just be the two of us. she won’t even serve us at dinner if you don’t want her to. i will do the cooking.”

“that sounds fabulous. you know how much i enjoy your cooking.”

shortly after one o’clock, emily and frederick got into one of frederick’s ferraris - a light green 2017 gtc4lusso - and reached “the empty house” on the border just as dusk was falling.


the house was completely surrounded by the tallest trees emily had ever seen. there was a detached garage almost hidden by the trees and frederick parked the ferrari in it and they carried their bags inside, where they were met by mrs wellesley, who looked as if she had just wakened from a nap.

emily had wondered about “mrs wellesley”, a female living alone in the woods at frederick’s disposal, but was reassured at the sight of her. she looked about forty years and a bit on the heavy side. what a cow, emily thought, nothing to see here, folks.


later, after the delicious dinner - one of frederick’s unique and effortlessly whipped up creations - frederick took out his phone and excused himself. he usually attended to the dreary business side of his existence for about an hour each day.

left to herself, emily began wandering down the corridors of the house. frederick had described it as having “fifty or sixty” rooms but it seemed more like two hundred.

the corridors were lined with old-fashioned oil paintings in heavy frames. they were mostly portraits, interspersed with a few paintings of horses, battles, and storms at sea.


emily thought the people in the portraits looked very unattractive. i guess they didn’t have face lifts or botox back then, she thought, or even face cream.

i must be tired, she thought, after that long drive, because as she looked at the people in the paintings they seemed to get even uglier and nastier looking, not even to be human any more, but demons or strange dragonny or lizardy creatures with big red and green and purple faces…

and they started talking to each other and to emily…

doesn’t even suspect, does she, poor thing…

silly girl, you should have stayed at that internship at finley and finley…


emily came to. she was lying on the floor of one of the corridors, with frederick and mrs wellesley bending over her.

“darling,” frederick was saying. “you have had a long day. i knew we should have stopped on the way, instead of racing up here. what a fool i was. can you get up? mrs wellesley will take care of you.””

“i’ll be all right,” emily insisted. “i don’t need any help.”

“mrs wellesley is a trained nurse,” frederick told her. “put yourself in her capable hands.”


later, when frederick and mrs wellesley were driving back to the city, they stopped at a small restaurant just off the highway, where they were both well known.

when the waitress had left with their order, mrs wellesley lit a cigarette. “what did you see in that one?” she asked frederick. “she hardly seemed worth it.”

“you just keep doing what you do,” frederick told her. “and i will keep doing what i do.”



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