my town

by fred flynn

everybody in town hated carl davis because he was a bad person. carl davis was a bad person because everybody in town hated him. everybody in town loved jenny lou evans. she was the prettiest girl in town. and the nicest, too. she always had a smile on her face for everybody in town, even carl davis. jenny lou’s dad, earl evans, was the greatest hero in the history of the town. there was a statue of him in front of the town hall. jenny lou’s mom, nora, who was still a mighty fine looking woman, was a secret operative for the most top secret organization in the world. she was sort of retired, but was still ready for one last job, because everybody knew she was the best. one day the call came. the president called nora personally to tell her that it would be much appreciated if nora could go on one last mission to save the universe. nora knew she might not come back. she went to see sheriff john brown to ask him to keep an eye on jenny lou while she was gone. “you know how she is,” nora said, “always so sweet and trusting. even with the likes of carl davis.” sheriff john brown told nora he would be right proud to keep an eye on jenny lou. “she will be watched over night and day,” he assured her. that night the president’s own helicopter came and took nora away as the town slept. nora left jenny lou a note telling her to keep being a good person, and she also left her the ultimate weapon. the ultimate weapon was a small pistol that fit in the palm of jenny lou’s hand. it contained one bullet. nora’s note explained that when the one bullet was fired, the universe would disintegrate. it was to be used only as a last resort. although sheriff john brown had assured nora he would keep an eye on jenny lou and he was sincere and not a bad fellow, he was kind of a lazy cuss and so most of the day to day keeping an eye on jenny lou was passed on to his deputy, clyde burnside. clyde burnside had the biggest feet in town and he was desperately in love with jenny lou. a few weeks after nora’s departure, jenny lou graduated from high school and began working full time at willa mae’s pancake house and donut shop. clyde burnside began spending all the time he could at willa mae’s. and he did not have much else to do in his role as deputy sheriff. carl davis also began spending time at willa mae’s. as he was a worthless bum who did not have a job and was supported by his grandmother, he had absolutely nothing else to do. although willa mae was the sweetest person in the world and treated jenny lou like a daughter, jenny lou quickly grew tired of clyde burnside and carl davis and the rest of the customers at the pancake house and donut shop and decided to go to hollywood and become a movie star. so one morning she got on the bus and went to hollywood. she quickly became the biggest star in the world, and you can now see her smiling face at any hour of the day, on the big screen at your local megaplex, on televisions and laptops and tablets and on the phone you carry in your pocket. but she still carries with her the pistol nora left her, which can disintegrate the universe at a moment’s notice, so watch out.