priscilla tripped merrily into the drawing room.
mother was seated in her favorite chair, doing what she did, with her perpetual scowl on her face.
i wish you would not trip quite so merrily into the room, priscilla, mother said. it gives me a headache.
i am sorry, mother, priscilla replied. but i am just bursting with good news.
oh? and what might that be?
that stafford has asked me to marry him!
stafford? you mean that drip you brought to dinner last thursday?
the very same. and , really, i do not think that a very charitable way to describe him.
be that as it may, i hope you do not mean to consider his proposal without first consulting the family?
why - but this is the modern age, mother.
i am as aware of that as you are, priscilla. still , i would hope you would do the family the courtesy of listening to our views.
oh, very well.
then i will summon a family council for tomorrow evening, in the library, at eight o’clock.
*
all of the voting members of the family council were assembled in the library, seated around the great table.
you can probably guess, mother began, why you have been summoned this evening.
i will be damned if i can, uncle soames mumbled.
mother ignored him. priscilla, please explain why we are here.
priscilla stood up. i will be brief, she said, you probably remember stafford, the young man i introduced you to last week - i believe it was on thursday, at dinner. stafford has now done me the honor of asking for my hand.
what! exclaimed cousin corwell, you do not mean that fellow with the red and green striped tie!
he may have been wearing that, priscilla replied.
you mean you do not remember? drawled cousin alberta, who then laughed heartily at what she must have intended as a joke.
but i would have thought the question was settled, exclaimed uncle soames, when i asked the fellow where he went to school.
i forget his answer, aunt meredith muttered.
my point exactly! soames rejoined, banging the table with an air of finality.
i tried to engage the fellow in a ciivilized conversation, cousin walters put in, and found he did not know a fish from a fly!
not to mention not knowing other less mentionable things from other even less mentionable things, cried cousin phipps, who then exploded into his trademark giggle.
anyone else? mother asked. neptune, uranus?
cousins neptune and uranus were a pair of elderly identical twins who communicated only with each other, and not in words, but in an elaborate code of smirks and grimaces that only they understood. at mother’s question, they turned to each other and began smirking and grimacing at high speed.
i think we get your drift, mother told the twins. now let me ask, is there anyone here who feels favorably inclined toward mr stafford’s proposal to priscilla.? if you do, speak up, or forever hold your peace.
silence. not even a cough.
mother turned to priscilla. there you have it, priscilla. what say you?
priscilla, who was still standing, looked around the table. what i have to say is this. as i told mother yesterday, this is the modern age, and i am in no way bound by any of your views. nevertheless - nevertheless, i recognize that the family is the bedrock of civilization. it is more than the bedock - it is civilization. without the family, humanity would still be living in swamps and deserts and savannas, fighting bears for berries and hyenas for carrion. there would be no art, or symphonies, or cathedrals, or philosophy, or any of that sort of thing. therefore, i bow to your judgment, and will stop seeing stafford.
good girl! uncle soames croaked. the rest just smirked and rolled their eyes at each other.
i say, uncle jefferson, who had been silent throughout the discussion, cried. that was thirsty work. i think we could all use a drink. get matthews in here.
priscilla was as good as her word. she never saw stafford again, and did her best to forget him.
after a while, she succeeded.
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