the oldest story

by horace p sternwall

after the hero saved the world, he came home and found his girl in bed with his best friend. * the welcome home ceremony had been cut short by a violent thunderstorm, and the parade rescheduled for another day. lieutenant bob clark drove up to the modest little bungalow on the outskirts of town, where sherry davis, his high school sweetheart, had been staying with her aunt emma. sherry had begged off of the welcome home ceremony, because she did not want to deal with the paparazzi from all over the world. bob had understood. a red sports car was parked outside the bungalow. could it belong to aunt emma? when bob got out of his car and approached the house he noticed that the red sports car had a rental plate. bob knocked on the door of the bungalow. there was no answer. that was strange. was something wrong? had the forces of the empire of x somehow learned of sherry’s whereabouts, to take a cowardly revenge on bob for defeating them? bob tried the door. it opened, and he stepped into the bungalow. the unmistakable sounds coming from the rear of the bungalow were more terrible by far than any bob had heard in the final climactic battle with the empire of x. should he retreat, pretend he had not heard anything? retreat was not in bob’s genes. in any case, the culprits must have heard him, or sensed him, because they fell silent. the door of the back bedroom opened, and sherri stood there. i wasn’t expecting you so soon, bobby. the ceremony was cut short. i guess you weren’t paying attention, even though it was on tv. a voice behind sherry said, no, we had more important things to attend to. it was tom lewis, bob’s best friend since their academy days! tom had finished first in the class, and bob two hundred and seventeenth, but bob had later shown his stuff when it counted. tom! i thought you were back acting as an adviser to the reconstruction corp. i got a few days leave, and thought i would come home and take care of business. you don’t have to look so nasty, bobby, sherry said. just because you saved the world doesn’t mean you own me. she’s right, old buddy, tom added. remember, you are the hero now, the public face of the new age of peace and reconciliation. president a and general b might not like it if you mixed up in any ugly scenes. i might have my own notions of reconciliation, tom. maybe. you might be wondering just where i came in. i will leave you to wonder what i am wondering about, bob said. he turned and left. outside, the sun had come out and was shining on the saved world.