wasted

by bofa xesjum

buck was watching dr kildare on one of the retro tv stations, when jocko came in with a large pepperoni pizza. how can you waste your life watching that stuff? jocko asked. he sat down on the couch and put his pizza box on the coffee table. jocko was probably intending to be humorous, but buck, who had a markedly deficient sense of humor, took him seriously, as he often did. that’s not a nice thing to say, buck said to jocko. what? what’s not a nice thing to say? that i am wasting my life. it’s not nice to say that anybody is wasting their life. least of all you, right? i did not say that. there you go again, twisting my words. don’t take it so seriously, jocko said. he opened his pizza box and carefully extracted a slice. are you going to offer me some of that? buck asked. you’ve got a phone, order your own pizza. all right, be that way. but you still should not say i am wasting my life. don’t take it personal. everybody’s life is wasted, when you stop and think about it. that’s a terrible thing to say. you think? give me an example of somebody who didn’t waste their life. buck thought for about ten seconds. alexander the great. did alexander the great waste his life? of course. he should have stayed home and married a nice greek girl, instead of causing so much commotion and burning down all those cities.. and he might have lived to a ripe old age. all right, how about mother teresa? did she waste her life? mother teresa! brother, you did not get the memo , mother teresa is not a good person any more, she has been thrown into the pit. why, what did she do? i don’t know, i think she disrespected somebody, you could look it up. how about albert einstein? he invented the atomic bomb. he didn’t have to do that, did he? he might have wasted everybody’s life, not just his own. michelangelo. he should have stayed in his village and married a nice girl. and had lots of children and grandchildren, instead of going to rome and hanging out with popes and cardinals, because no good can come of that. how about some other great artists? picasso? andy warhol? van gogh, what about van gogh? he’s another one who should have stayed home and married a nice girl, instead of going to some desert island and catching leprosy. i never knew you were so big on staying home snd marrying nice girls. all right, this is my last shot. wilt chamberlain, did he waste his life? who? wilt chamberlain. he was a basketball player, but what he really did was have sex with 20,000 women. and there was this other guy, a french writer named george somebody, he had sex with 20,000 women too. the same 20,000 or a different 20,000? um - i think different. be that as it may, did either of these guys have some documentation to back up their claims? some videos? i think i will defer judgment until i see some proof. suddenly there was a knock on the door. jocko got up and opened it and it was the lady next door. can you guys keep the noise down? the lady next door asked. i got two sick little children trying to get some sleep, and i have to get up at five o’clock and go to work.. noise from what? jocko asked. us talking? no, the tv, it’s kind of loud. but it’s just dr kildare, what if it was gunsmoke or rowan and martin? we will turn it down, buck said. you will have to excuse my friend, he is a braindead subhuman, he was born that way and can’t help it. thank you, sir. the lady went back to next door. all right, smart guy, what are we going to watch now? got any suggestions? yes, now that you mention it, i do have a suggestion. and that is? there is this guy that sells vegetable slicers. he has this ad on i think 8734, and he sells the vegetable slicer for about 25 minutes. that sounds exciting. it is! he gives 100 percent the whole time, puts everything he has into it. he sells that vegetable slicer! it is inspiring, it will make you feel good to be alive.