the talk of the town

by horace p sternwall

you again. yes, it is i. did you really think you were rid of me? i had almost allowed myself to think so. i believe you owe me something. i can not imagine what. i demand that you retract all the lies you have been spreading about me. i presume you have some empty threats to back up your empty accusations. not for the moment, my friend. let us just say that i am checking in on you. gaspard heaved a great sigh after hercule departed. what a horrible existence i live, he thought morosely. just then isidore arrived and, without being invited, took a seat across from gaspard at the cafe table. i was just passing by, isidore announced in his booming voice, and i could not help observing that you were conversing with hercule. your knowledge is up to date, gaspard conceded. i was indeed conversing with that wretch, to my intense discomfort. might you let me know what he had to say? why might you, or anybody, have any interest in what hercule had to say? you must not have heard! hercule is the talk of the town. of all the - why, pray tell, is hercule the talk of the town? because he has taken the boulevard by storm, with his brilliantly witty modernization and reimagining of plautus’s…. of plautius’s… of something or other by plautus. you astonish me. it may not be my part to say so, but if you have some disagreement with hercule you might be wise to resolve it, because now that he is the talk of the town and has taken the boulevard by storm he may be in a position to do you a good turn. i perceive you are a man of the world, and will give your advice the mature consideration it merits. that is all very well, but how about buying me a drink? it will be my sincere pleasure. waiter!