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Friday, August 20, 2021

epitaph for a slob


by corinne delmonico



amanda arkwright was brought up to be neat and tidy and to always make her bed neatly as soon as she got up in the morning.

she became very adept at making her bed, with perfectly aligned hospital corners. her mother, who often found fault with her on other matters, occasionally complimented her on her dexterity in this matter.

when amanda came of age she married a man somewhat older than herself named bradley white. he was a rather stern individual, and like amanda’s mother, disapproved or denigrated most of what she did, but even he was forced to admit she did a great job making her, and his, beds in the morning.

eventually bradley died. freed from his constant supervision, amanda gradually relaxed the strict ways she had been brought up in.

for a while, she continued making her bed neatly out of sheer habit, but the passage of time eroded even this. on some mornings, she did not even make her bed!

the time came for amanda to die. her neighbors noticed that she had not been seen for about a week, and some conscientious person notified the authorities.

amanda’s body was discovered by a couple of ambulance technicians, in the front room of her little one bedroom apartment.

look at this mess, one of the technicians, a young womam named shirley simmons, said on entering the bedroom.. she didn’t even make her bed.

the other tech, an older man named ben wainwright, an easygoing sort and something of a philosopher, demurred.

she probably dropped dead before she had a chance to make it, he pointed out to shirley.

i don’t think so. she is dressed, isn’t she? and in the other room. she was just a slob, plain and simple.



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