riptide

by horace p sternwall

ralph jackson and martin hickman were introduced to each other by marie stevens at one of her parties. you know, of course, why marie introduced us to each other? ralph asked martin. no, i am afraid i do not know, martin replied. because we are both considered dull fellows, and she paired us off so that we would not annoy the other guests with our tiresomeness. i am afraid i can not accept that statement, and in fact i resent it exceedingly. oh, you do, do you? what do you propose to do about it? i propose a contest. oh? what sort of contest? will it require some third party to decide it, some sort of judge? not at all. here is what i propose. i am listening. we will meet at cobb’s cove tomorrow morning. cobb’s cove, as you know, is notorious for its savage riptides. we will both swim out toward the open water, and see who turns back first. and what is to be gained or lost? nothing, except knowing who is the better man, and who is the lesser. very well, then, i accept. i will see in the morning at, let us say, seven o’clock? agreed. *M what do you think would be the best continuation/denouement of this story? a) ralph wins, and the two go on to become best friends. ralph’s son marries martin’s daughter, and one of the happy pair’s offspring becomes president of the united states. b) martin wins, and the two go on to become best friends. ralph runs away with martin’s wife, and martin tracks them down and shoots and kills both of them, and then kills himself. c) ralph drowns. martin, who admits to proposing the contest, is charged with manslaughter and serves eighteen months in prison. d) they both drown.