the river and the highway, part 1

by henry drown

part one of three

johnny went down to the river to buy his poor dog a bone. why did he do that? who was selling bones down by the river? it does not sound like the greatest place to be selling bones. charlie the grinder man was selling bones down by the river. down by the river was where everybody went to buy and sell everything after the town burned down. why did the town burn down? because the soldiers burned it down. and why did the soldiers burn the town down? because the people were demanding justice. all right, that explains it. the clerk-interrogator made a notation on their pad. so did johnny get the bone for his dog? no, he did not. charlie’s price was too high. was there a reason the price was too high? yes, the war. the army had begun buying up bones, and they were scarce. rascals like charlie the grinder man raised their prices accordingly, and poor boys like johnny and poor dogs like johnny’s dog suffered. did johnny’s dog have a name? yes, it was named richard dallton conroy, but everybody called it r d c. please refer to it as such going forward. i will. so what happened to johnny and his dog after they could not get a bone down by the river? they took to the highway. by the way, the name johnny is overused and old-fashioned. give him something a little more modernistic, with a little more zip. all right. how about joe? that is much better. end of part one